RSS

Monthly Archives: September 2015

It’s a Journey (Notes from the Wilderness)

  
Photo credit: Pinterest, Tony Evans

Beautiful friends, I might have one more post in me for the Spiritual House series. However, stay tuned for a new series upcoming-Abiding & Walking out Sonship. We need to know who we are as children of God. 

Today, I hope to impart hope from my journey. You’re reading words from a person who understands brokenness and the wilderness. I walked through abuse (verbal mostly), sickness, loss, betrayal, persecution, persecution from Christians, abandonment from my biological father, rejection from peers, rejection from family members, and so many things I won’t drudge them all up. My heart has been broken so many times; by family, in ministry, by friends…by people who claimed to love God. 

When people say to me, “I wish I had your relationship with God or your life is so good,” I want to say to them, “You don’t want to go where I’ve been and walk through what I have walked through with God.” 

My life has been walking through whatever I have been called to minister to. Like Jesus, I’ve had to walk it out. I went through many years of devastation…Needing miracle after miracle…Cheating death over and over…Living under persecution for almost a decade, praying, fasting…crying out for a miracles. 

God didn’t always deliver me from. He delivered me through. There’s so much of my story you’ll have to hear in the Suffering with Christ book I’m working on. There’s not enough space here.

I don’t glorify suffering. I do think people need to know all of life with Jesus isn’t skipping through parks of roses. If you suffer, it doesn’t mean you don’t love God or have enough faith. 

I feel I walked out of the wilderness in late 2012. Battered, bruised, tired, over trauma and near death experiences, over phony church love (yes I said it-I was tired of being beat up by Christians and imitation love), exhausted, wounded, discouraged, grief striken, and fed up. I had walked through both parents having cancer, my own sickness, too much church drama, losing a parent, losing “friends”, perpetual harassment at work, and so much more. I was done…

How do/did those wounds heal? God. 

Crucial Keys/Notes 

1. Forgiveness: forgive the people who’ve hurt you. Many of them don’t know God’s love. There are people in your church community/life who do not know the love of God. They can’t give what they haven’t received. You forgive (release them to God-don’t gossip, don’t seek revenge) and keep connection with God. If you’re upset with God, talk to Him. He’s not afraid of pain or you. 

Pray for those who hurt you. Their greatest sin is against God. They need Him and to know Him.

2. Seek God. 

My major healing didn’t happen with a SOZO, a pastor, a conference, counseling, or reading a book. 
The healing began with God. Over and over He would meet with me and heal one part of me then another. Some progress was quick. Others slow and painful. I was like a person who had been backed over repeadily by a semi truck and every bone broken. 

I was saved and sad. My soul was sick. Abundant life is in His word, yet I wasn’t seeing it in the people around me. 

The mentality was, “As long as my spirit is okay. I’m saved. I am okay.” This is false. We can be saved, on our way to heaven and miserable because we are filled with unbelief, fear, anxiety, depression, despair, insecurity, without lasting joy, or hope. 

Jesus paid for the whole person to be healed and restored!-Saved, healed, and delivered. 

God is the Source of abundant life. Get to know God personally. Intimacy with God is crucial. 

Quite a bit of my wounding came from other Christians who were either insensitive, ignorant (unlearned about dealing with people who had lived through trauma or abuse), unloving (let’s throw a scripture on it), wanted to be grief buddies (let’s be broken together), critical (if you were truly saved, this would not be happening  to you), or they avoided or ignored me (this isn’t my problem-go see a counselor-I’m only called to love those in my circle-get your needs met elsewhere). 

So I’m a huge proponent of going straight to God.  

There are some great Christian counselors, pastors, people. I’ve peer counseled, led people through deliverance/inner healing. Yet I tell people to continually seek God. I’m only human. I am limited. God is not limited. He can do more in a moment than I can in a lifetime. 

Recommend: 

Pray and ask God who you should confide in. Some people aren’t concerned, they are nosey or miserable too and want company. Some are not equipped to handle other’s brokenness. 

3. Learn the voice of God. 

This key kept my mind. You have no idea the warfare that raged on for years because I didn’t know how to fight. Fight from victory! God already won. 

In life I need His voice.  God saved my life so many times through communicating with me. 

I learned through His still small voice, dreams, visions, impressions, etc…He encouraged my heart, mind, emotions, spirit. His word is incredible. That’s where we started. He would speak the word to me. 

The most comforting thing He showed me during a horrible time was an open vision of me sitting on His knee. In the vision He pulled up movie scenes from my life. He pointed and He acknowledged He was there. He showed me that no matter what I faced, my Papa God was always going to be there. Some things in the last few scenes nearly tore my world apart. He stood with me. He let me know ahead of time, “This will hurt. This will shake your world, yet I am there.” In that vision I was a little girl. And that’s how I view myself now, a little girl on her Father’s lap. 

I live under the waterfall of His voice! Intimacy; listening…abiding. 

What is He teaching me about Himself during this trial or season?

4. Forgive the Process

I’d love to say through it all I’ve been this fierce warrior of faith. I’d love to say I’ve applauded God every second of the process. Nope. After my discipleship group (some of them) turned on me, lied, gossiped, betrayed my trust…and my pastor at the time eluded to the fact I had an idolatry problem because I was wounded from being betrayed by people I’d given my entire heart to for 3.5 years….Not to mention both my parents got cancer during that time, and I was being persecuted at work. I completely shut down. I closed my life off to anyone other than God and my immediate family. 

During that time with God, I had to forgive the process. Did God cause all these things? No. Did He allow them? Yes. Is He using it for His glory? Yes. 

5. Soak in His love; Find hope in His word. 

Soaking is my favorite thing. It’s focused time with God. It’s resting in His love. I soak with worship music or none at all. I invite God to speak, minster to my heart. Wow! He deposits so much. 

His word is filled with life. I do declarations and pray the word of God. I speak to my soul. I speak to my spirit. I highly recommend investing in saying what God is saying over your situation. 

God Your word says, where Your Spirit is there is liberty!

6. Understand it will hurt and you will grieve. 

I mostly grieve with God because He understands how to deal with me. I sometimes grieve with others but not very much. Sometimes people, though well meaning, leave you feeling worse. 

7. Pray for healthy, loving community. 

The worst thing I found in seasons of pain and suffering was the wrong community. It’s worse than no community. We tell people to be in community, yet if it’s not rooted in true agape love and centered on Jesus it can be a disaster. 

I hate it when people say, “hurting people hurt people” so don’t stay away from those who do bad things. If every time I see you I punch you in the face and say, “Hurting people hurt people,” you’d stop coming around me. At least I hope you’d confront me and say, “I love you but this behavior is not okay. Stop or I am distancing myself until you learn self control.” There’s a huge difference between being easily offended and staying in an unhealthy place. 

God longs to connect you with believers who will love you! 

I’m super thankful for my current church. There have been times I’ve gone in hurting and without me asking someone would come pray for me, share a word of hope, or prophetic word. 

There are great churches everywhere. Find your tribe! Pray for God to bring in people who love like Him. There are some. 

God longs to be the primary person to meet our needs. He also wants to love us through people. He sets the lonely in families. You are not alone. 

Well, I’ve given you lots of words. I hope you know you are loved! I’m praying for you (not just saying that). If I can make it, and it was so challenging, you can too. I have more JOY today than I’ve ever had. I laugh more than any of my friends. 😄 God heals! Yes indeed. 

Love,

Erin 

 
1 Comment

Posted by on September 21, 2015 in Devotions, From the Author, God's Heart

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

The King’s Table (Love Poem for The Bride of Christ)

  
The King’s Table (written by Erin Lamb inspired by Jesus)👑

My Bride, My love. 
I’ve invited you to a continual feast at My Table. 

To dine with Me.

To meet with Me. 

To be with Me. 

My Beloved,

The one I gave My life for,

And the one My heart beats passionately for.

I made you for Me. 

You are of an elegant design.

Handcrafted.

An original masterpiece. 

I see great beauty when I look into your heart. 

I see a treasure

Made for Me. 

I love you with an everlasting love. 

It is a love that existed before you 

And it will continue on into eternity!

I am rejoicing over you. 

Singing you love songs.

Songs the Angels also sing. 

My Bride, My love.

I have prepared a place for us. 

Here in Paradise. 

Where the radiance of My Father 

Fills every crevice with His Brilliance and beauty. 

I have prepared a table for us.

It is decadent.

I ask that you come away…

be with Me. 

Come away with Me.

Lay aside the troubles of today, 

Come feast at the Banquet Table.

My heart erupts with joy,

When you look My way, 

When you seek My face.

I am overflowing with love for you. 

I am relentlessly pursuing you to love you. 

I am moving mountains for you that you cannot see. 

I am praying for you continuously. 

I gave My life so you and I could be, 

Closer, 

One,

Together for all of eternity, 

Here I am My Beloved,

Desiring you, 

Loving you, 

Craving more profound intimacy. 

I long for you to know Me,

Truly experience all that I am. 

I long for you to be with Me. 

I don’t take My eyes off you. 

You are covered in My Robe of Righteousness. 

I gave you My name. 

I sealed our covenant with My blood. 

Eternal love,

It’s what I pursued you for. 

No human being can love you more. 

No human being can fill your voids. 

It is I who completes,

Who fills to overflowing.

Come drink of My cup and you will not thirst. 

Come feast of My bread and you will hunger no more. 

Come rest your head on My chest, 

Feel My heart beat.

Can you hear it pounding? 

It’s a sweet melody. 

My love for you is custom to you. 

I know everything there is to know about you. 

And I am offering you all of Me. 

Come My love…

Come…

My Beloved, My Bride, My love…

Come and feast with Me. 
You are all so deeply loved. 

Papa God I thank You for each person reading this. I ask Your love would saturate each heart. Give us all (myself included) an even deeper revelation of Your incredible love…the height, depth, width, and breath of it. I ask for miracles in our souls. Healing to every single wound. A saturation of Your peace, love, joy, hope, goodness, and mercy. I bind fear, insecurity, worry, doubt, and unbelief. I bind the orphan and pauper spirits. I loose freedom to know our identity in Christ. We are Your beloved children, You said You’d meet ALL our needs according to Your riches in glory. We are not orphans, we are children. We are deeply loved, chosen, set apart by You. Holy Spirit fall afresh on each of us today and everyday, draw us deeper into the secret place…the deep reservoirs of Your heart. In Jesus powerful name, amen. 
Love, 
Erin Lamb

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on September 17, 2015 in Devotions, From the Author, God's Heart, Poetry

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

You’re Never Too Broken for God (Spiritual House Series Part V)

  
Beautiful friends, I hope this post deposits hope and seeds of faith in your hearts. God loves you with a deep, pure, and everlasting love. 

God’s love is not based on performance or merit. He loves us as we are; while sinners, while broken, while messed up, while self righteous and prideful, while scornful, while we are rejecting Him or trying to use Him, while immature…God is love. 

You and I are never so broken or too broken for God. As we receive His love, we are transformed from the inside out. We are made whole through relationship with Him. 

One of my favorite passages is from Isaiah 61. I taught on this passage Sunday. Why did Jesus come to earth? It wasn’t simply for our forgiveness of sins and to get us into heaven. God longs to get heaven into us so we are restored, renewed, and full of His glory. He came so we could have life, and life abundantly (John 10:10). 

Here are verses 1-3. 

“THE SPIRIT of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed and qualified me to preach the Gospel of good tidings to the meek, the poor, and afflicted; He has sent me to bind up and heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the [physical and spiritual] captives and the opening of the prison and of the eyes to those who are bound, [Rom. 10:15.] To proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord [the year of His favor] and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, [Matt. 11:2-6; Luke 4:18, 19; 7:22.] To grant [consolation and joy] to those who mourn in Zion–to give them an ornament (a garland or diadem) of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, the garment [expressive] of praise instead of a heavy, burdened, and failing spirit–that they may be called oaks of righteousness [lofty, strong, and magnificent, distinguished for uprightness, justice, and right standing with God], the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified.”

‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭61:1-3‬ ‭AMP‬‬

http://bible.com/8/isa.61.1-3.amp

What if your life right now is a mess? What if you hurt every day? What if those around you just want you fixed so they don’t have to deal with your brokenness, depression, grief, heartache, or pain? What if people would rather ignore you than walk with you? What if grief is your bedfellow? Well, dear hearts, I know Someone who is close to the broken hearted. No matter the pain, sorrow, grief, or sin…God moves towards not away from the hurting and sinful. 

I’ve been there. Maybe not in the same exact place, yet I understand suffering and prolonged suffering. I recall being sick in my body, losing my hair, being mocked for losing my hair, told by relatives I wasn’t truly sick or I could do more than I could, and I recall hurting day after day-night after night. Some nights the pain was so bad I’d cry out for numbness, to feel nothing. 

I know what it’s like to hurt beyond the capacity to pray. There was no one there but me and God in some dark moments. I can say with confidence God didn’t turn away. He didn’t remove all pain. He did walk me through the pain that wasn’t immediately healed. 

There was excruciating pain and agony in seasons. God was there. He never left. He never said, “You’re too sick to heal. You’re too broken to deal with right now or ever. You’re a mess! You’re not worth my time.” I have had people in Church and family/”friends” do those things, God never has. 

God stayed right with me in hospital rooms. God kept me from dying. God spoke words of encouragement when others were super discouraging. Even when I couldn’t hear His voice, He didn’t let me die. He was and is a miracle worker.

So my encouragement to you is this…

If you’re hurting today, that doesn’t mean your condition is permanent. I never thought I’d have lasting joy or relief from chronic pain. I spent many years waiting for the next bad thing to happen. Yet God gave me joy for mourning. 

If you’re severely broken or struggling, God isn’t looking down His nose at you in disdain or disgust or trying to run from you. He’s longing to heal and restore. He reaches down low and lifts up the broken. 

No matter what is happening in you or around you, God longs to be an Advocate, Comforter, Lover of your soul, and Healer for you.  You are SO deeply loved (John 3:16). 

Please don’t give up!

Please don’t run from God, run towards Him! 

No one loves you more!

Papa God, I ask for the souls of everyone reading this to prosper and be in good health. I ask for healing of the mind, body, soul…restoration and renewal. I ask for freedom from shame, excessive hurt, comfort for grief, and freedom from all sickness, disease, depression, hopelessness, despair, infirmity, and pain. In Jesus powerful name, amen. 

Love to you all…you’re continually in my prayers. Yes indeed. 

Love in Christ, 

Erin Lamb 

 
9 Comments

Posted by on September 8, 2015 in Devotions, From the Author, God's Heart

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

I AM Here (Love Poem from Papa God)

  
Sweet (dulce) friends…I’ve been doing this series on healing the soul. For once the soul is healed, the body receives healing as well. Beloved, I would love for you to prosper even as your soul prospers. 

The One who’s produced the greatest healing in my life is God. When people failed to demonstrate the love of God to me, God stepped right in and loved me to health. I know the profound rejection from people truly did me a favor, it pushed me deeper into the arms of the One who truly loved me. I tell you this because maybe you’re still hurting. Maybe your soul aches and you’re tired of advice from people who have no clue the depths of what you’re going through. Maybe you’re wondering, “Why God? Or when God? Or will this pain, suffering, or trial end? Or will I ever be healed?” 

Oh dear ones…I’ve been there. Agony that lingered for days, to months, to years…enduring things that at moments made me feel I might just die. Then I’d wake up the next day, with the residual of tears dried to my face. No one but God saw the depths of grief, sorrow, or pain. People love to applaud the overcomer, yet I’m here to say, “God will get you through this. Hang on! I’m praying for you.” 

I can’t be with you all and wipe your tears. Yet know I’m thinking of you, praying for you, loving you through intercession, and I hope this poem encourages you. God will get you through this. He did it for me and there were days I had no hope and He’d give me His. Such a Best Friend!

Here I Am 

Standing

Overflowing with passionate love

Reaching out for you 

The one I love 

While you slumber

I’m wide awake 

Eagerly anticipating 

Meeting with you face to face 

I’m singing you love songs 

The sweetest melodies 

My Son has been praying for you 

He loves to intercede 

Here I Am 

In your storms 

In your trials 

In your fears 

In the midst of your uncertainties

And I’m reaching out 

For you to cast your cares on Me 

You see I’m stronger 

I can handle it all 

I’m strong enough 

And here when you call 

I’m never too busy 

My heart is soft towards you 

Trust if you move a millimeter in My direction

I’m running miles in yours 

I AM here 

Today

Every day 

Loving you 

Wanting you 

Seeking you 

Pursuing you 

Desiring the closest space in your heart 

It’s Me 

Your loving Father

There’s no one and no love that can take My place 

Other loves make promises they cannot fulfill 

They promise you love and pleasure 

Leaving you emptier still 

I AM here 

My love will not disappoint you 

Or leave you with regrets 

Oh for you to know Me…

To know My loves’ great width and depth

You cannot exhaust the magnitude of My love

It existed before you 

It’s who I AM 

I AM love 

I’ve seen the end from the beginning

And you cannot change who I AM 

I AM here standing 

Standing in love for you 

Wanting what’s best for you 

Cheering My heart out for you 

Singing my song over you 

Collecting those tears for you

Moving mountains in love for you 

Setting up divine appointments to bless you 

Setting up opportunities to grow you 

I AM here 

And if the entire world turns on you 

If they walk away 

If they refuse to see the gift

The treasure I’ve created in you 

Know you are not alone or abandoned

I AM here 

Papa God, I ask for Your unfailing love to flood each heart and soul. Bathe sorrows in Your comfort. Deposit hope for a better tomorrow. I bind every lie of the enemy, for this too shall pass. You are the God of new beginnings. The One who gives life, abundant life and joy. I ask for miracles for each one reading this. I ask for surprises from above! Bless them richly and abundantly. Let them know tangibly that they are deeply loved, seen, heard, and You’re working for their good. I’m Jesus powerful name, amen. 

Love, 

Erin Lamb♥️💯

 
5 Comments

Posted by on September 3, 2015 in Devotions, From the Author, God's Heart, Poetry

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,