Category: God’s Heart

The Power of Being Seen

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Soul Sunday: The Power of Being Seen

Your investment doesn’t have to be millions of dollars to make a meaningful impact.

Several years ago, OGL, the nonprofit homeless outreach I founded, was invited to Indiana to help lead community outreaches. During one of those trips, we spent time listening to the stories of people experiencing homelessness.

One gentleman, whom I’ll call Jon, shared his journey of traveling from state to state in search of work.

As we talked, he shared a lesson I have never forgotten:

“People think it’s the big things that change lives, yet forget the seemingly small things do too.”

Curious, we asked him to explain.

He told us that during his travels, people would often hand him a bottle of water. It seemed simple, almost insignificant. But to him, it meant survival.

“I had hunger at times, but I didn’t go thirsty. I’m thankful for the people who simply handed me a bottle of water. They saved my life.”

His words challenged my perspective. What we view as small may be vital to someone else.

Since that day, I’ve made it a habit to keep bottled water in my vehicle. You never know when a simple act of generosity might meet a critical need.

Another encounter comes to mind.

Near a local university, I noticed a man sitting alone with his head down. He appeared discouraged and withdrawn. From a distance, I called out, “Hey buddy, are you hungry? We have food.”

He lifted his head and smiled—a wide grin that immediately changed the atmosphere.

We sat with him for a while, listening to his story. Before we left, he thanked us in a way that stayed with me long after the conversation ended.

“You don’t know how many people walk past me as though I do not exist. You saw me. Thank you.”

Those words were a powerful reminder that people are not only hungry for food. Many are hungry to be seen, heard, and valued.

A bottle of water. A shared meal. A smile. A conversation.

These actions may seem small, but their impact can be profound.

As we move through our days, may we remember that kindness does not require great wealth, influence, or resources. Often, it simply requires awareness and a willingness to care.

The smallest act of compassion may become one of the most meaningful moments in someone else’s story.

Love thy neighbor. ❤️

—

What is one small act of kindness someone showed you that made a lasting impact on your life?

Love,

Erin Lamb

Founder/CEO of Empowered & Free

Empowered-free.com

Three Struggles With How the Church Teaches Marriage

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Three Struggles With How Churches Teach on Marriage

There are a few long-standing struggles I have with how many churches teach about marriage—particularly when it comes to male authority, headship, and the command for wives to submit. These teachings are often presented as biblical truth, yet the framework frequently misses the heart of Jesus and the way God defines leadership, power, and oneness.

Here are three of the biggest tensions I continue to wrestle with.

—

1. Leadership Is Rarely Defined the Way God Defines It

One of my greatest struggles with Christian teachings on male authority and headship is how little attention is given to how God defines leadership.

Biblically, leadership is not about control, dominance, or hierarchy. Godly leadership looks like this:

  • Laying one’s life down
  • Serving sacrificially and unselfishly
  • Walking in integrity
  • Using power to empower others

Godly leadership does not subjugate—it elevates.

Jesus modeled this perfectly. Those under Jesus’ authority became stronger, wiser, and more capable. They were sent out to do what they had seen modeled—not to fetch things or cower under commands. Leadership in the Kingdom produces growth, not fear.

This version of leadership sounds nothing like:

“I am your King. Submit, peasants.”

Yet too often, that is how authority is practically lived out in Christian marriages.

—

2. The Diminishing of Women’s Leadership, Wisdom, and Skill

Another deep struggle is how these teachings often diminish the leadership, knowledge, and competence of women.

A woman may have known Jesus her entire life. She may be wise in Scripture, finances, leadership, emotional intelligence, and managing a household. Meanwhile, the man she marries may know far less or possess fewer skills—yet she is told to submit to him simply because he is male.

This is not mutual yielding (the part of Ephesians many teachings skip over).

Instead, she is often asked to shrink.

Her voice is softened.
Her authority is surrendered.
Her discernment is overridden.

Over time, she becomes smaller, quieter, and less powerful—not because God designed it that way, but because theology demanded it.

—

3. A Lack of Accountability—and Protection—for Women

The final struggle is perhaps the most painful.

From my perspective, churches often fail to hold men fully accountable—especially within the home.

The pattern frequently looks like this:

  • “Just forgive him.”
  • He is removed from leadership at church for a season.
  • Meanwhile, at home, the damage continues.

A man may still be emotionally destructive. A wife’s confidence, sense of safety, or heart may already be shattered. Yet the message remains:

“God put him in charge.”

She is told to pray.
She is told to submit.
She is told God will help her endure.

Protection for women is minimal. If she leaves or divorces, she becomes the sinner—regardless of the harm endured.

This framework does not reflect the heart of Jesus.

—

Jesus Is the Filter—Always

Jesus is the model, not cultural interpretations of authority.

Even the apostle Paul made it clear: “Follow me as I follow Christ.” Every part of Scripture must be filtered through the life, teachings, and character of Jesus.

When theology produces fear, silence, powerlessness, or harm, something is off.

I know these words may not change the system—but perhaps they will cause someone to pause, question, and rethink how marriage is taught in the church.

💛

—

Words of Jesus on Leadership, Authority, and Oneness

“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”
—Matthew 19:5

“Whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant.”
—Matthew 20:26

“For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve.”
—Mark 10:45

“Listen carefully: I have given you authority… nothing will in any way harm you. Nevertheless do not rejoice at this, that the spirits are subject to you, but rejoice that your names are recorded in heaven.”
—Luke 10:19–20

Authority in the Kingdom was never meant to crush. It was meant to protect, serve, and bring life.

—

Want to Go Deeper?

If these reflections resonate, Relationships 101: Foundational Wisdom for Better Relationships explores these ideas more deeply—offering practical, Jesus-centered wisdom for healthier, stronger, and more equitable relationships.

⭐ 5-star rated
📘 Featured at the 2025 London Book Fair

👉 Get your copy here:
https://a.co/d/09MntLnu

Love,

Erin L Lamb

The Christian Experience

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One of my ongoing challenges as a human is my desire for people to make sense. This likely stems from my personality and the way I process information. In my walk with Jesus, there have certainly been moments that did not make sense. What I’ve come to appreciate is that God has always been patient with my questions. And while God is all‑encompassing, I’ve often found people to be far more mysterious. I’d like to share a few reflections that may help explain my perspective.

Throughout the Bible, the importance of loving God and loving our neighbors is emphasized repeatedly. Christians are instructed to love their neighbors as they love themselves. When I strip this down to its simplest form, it resembles what many of us learned early on as “The Golden Rule.” I remember being taught in primary school to do unto others as I would want them to do unto me. That teaching resonated deeply with me. Kindness, love, and respect felt intuitive and life‑giving.

As I grew older, however, I began to notice a disconnect. I encountered people who quoted Scripture, attended church regularly, and openly professed their love for God—yet their behavior toward others felt harsh or dismissive. The kindness and compassion I associated with Jesus were often absent. These individuals could articulate doctrine well and debate theology fluently, yet interactions with them rarely left me feeling drawn toward God. More often, I found myself feeling guarded, unsure how to engage without being wounded.

This has long puzzled me. How do we reconcile the belief that God is love while treating other people in ways that feel anything but loving? I once asked Copilot for insight on this, and the response resonated: people tend to judge others by their actions, while judging themselves by their intentions rather than their impact. That distinction has stayed with me.

Recently, while sharing reflections about Christianity on a new social media platform, I’ve been struck by how often faith conversations can turn combative. Some who identify as Christians engage in ways that feel more like spiritual bullying than spiritual guidance. Scripture is sometimes wielded as a weapon rather than an invitation. I’ve been called names and told I am not a Christian—often for simply sharing the direct words and teachings of Jesus. These moments have invited me to pause and reflect rather than react.

Over the years, a few things have become clearer to me:

Knowing the Bible is not the same as knowing the One it points to.

Abiding in Jesus tends to produce good fruit. Yet I’ve observed that some people’s understanding of God and Jesus is shaped less by Scripture itself and more by culture, church environments, leaders, or family systems. Their version of faith reflects what they were taught rather than what they’ve personally encountered.

I’ve also noticed how easily the desire to be “right” can overshadow the call to love. Winning arguments can become more important than honoring people. Yet love, by its nature, cannot be forced, nor can genuine relationship.

People are at vastly different stages in their walk with God. Some have experienced decades of deep, relational communion with God; others are only beginning to explore who God might be. Each person’s view of God is shaped by their experiences and vantage point, and remembering this has helped me extend more grace.

Another realization has been this: we cannot give away a kind of love we have not yet received. For me to offer agape love to my neighbor, I must first believe and receive God’s love for myself. I’ve encountered many Christians who trust God enough for salvation but still relate to God as though God were harsh, punitive, or perpetually disappointed. When someone has not fully grasped the depth, breadth, and gentleness of God’s love for them, it becomes difficult to extend that love freely to others.

I’ve also struggled to understand why some Christians passionately defend politicians, celebrities, or even celebrity Christians solely because they claim to know God. Jesus spoke plainly when He said we would recognize a tree by its fruit and that His true disciples would be known by their agape—selfless, sacrificial—love. Scripture encourages discernment, urging believers to test and examine what they see. Yet in recent years, I’ve observed a tendency to overlook harmful behavior when the individual is influential or admired. From a faith perspective, influence does not exempt anyone from accountability.

What I’ve come to understand is that humans are not only created to worship; we are also created with a deep desire to belong. When a person or movement aligns with even some of our values, it can become tempting to excuse behaviors that contradict the teachings of Jesus. Idols—whether people, platforms, or ideologies—can quietly offer a false sense of identity, safety, and belonging.

I do not claim to understand everything. I don’t. What does make sense to me are the teachings of Jesus: love God; love your neighbor as yourself; love your enemies; seek to do good and avoid intentional harm; choose honor; let your light shine. Live in a way that invites others to want to know Jesus. Care for the poor. Welcome the stranger. Serve. Seek God in relationship. Be kind to others in the faith. Pray. Forgive. Act with mercy and pursue justice.

The way Jesus lived pointed beyond Himself—to something, or rather Someone, greater. In all my years of following Jesus, I can honestly say I’ve met only a handful of people—perhaps 10 or 12—whose way of living made me want to know Him more deeply. I’ve spent most of my life in church spaces, and over time my prayer has become simple: God, help me live in a way that draws people toward Jesus, not pushes them away. That remains my hope for every follower of Jesus, myself included.

Warmly,

Erin Lamb

You’re Designed for Freedom | Stop Settling for Less Than God’s Best

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You’re Designed for Freedom

I once heard a pastor say that God will allow you to live at the level you settle for—and I agree. There is more. I sincerely believe we were created for more, yet many people settle for far less than what God desires to give them.

I lived in the land of settling.

I accepted situations, treatment, and relationships that were far below where I wanted to be. Why? I wanted to be thankful. I wanted to be someone who invested in others without placing demands on them. I accepted the bare minimum because Christianity taught me to put others first, forgive everything, and—somewhere along the way—I neglected the truth that God actually cares how I am treated.

There was far more emphasis on how I could love the church and others, and far less focus on how deeply God loved me.

When “Love” Looks Like Settling

I settled because I was told that’s what love does.
I settled because I believed I was demonstrating unselfish, sacrificial love.

What I failed to see—and what no one pointed out to me—was that I was failing to recognize my own value. I chose mediocre. God did not choose that for me.

I remember talking with a woman from church one day when she said,
“Erin, no matter how poorly I treat you, you’re always there for me. I just love you.”

That wasn’t a compliment. It was a slap in the face.

She knew the behavior was wrong. She continued because I tolerated it. I wasn’t a complete doormat—I simply chose to forgive her over and over again. I loved her despite her lack of love for me.

What I tolerated was a misalignment.

I was not living empowered or free. I was living a life of settling.

A Dangerous—but Life‑Changing—Prayer

This pattern continued for several more years with other long‑standing relationships, until I prayed a dangerous yet powerful prayer:

“God, anything that is not tied to my destiny or Your best for my life, I ask that You remove it.”

Within months, several long‑term friendships ended. Some people picked arguments over nothing. One person told me God said not to remain friends. During that same season, I was laid off from my job.

Everything shifted—radically.

Seven Years Later…

Fast forward seven years.

  • I have completed three books
  • I founded and launched Lamb Enterprises LLC (Empowered & Free)
  • I’ve appeared on TV and radio
  • Dozens of people have encountered freedom through soul healing
  • Nearly 50 people have been trained in soul healing
  • Relationships 101 was featured at the 2025 London Book Fair
  • I entered a new corporate role and have been promoted four times
  • I’ve traveled the world
  • I’ve gained healthy, supportive, invested friendships
  • I’ve recently been featured in news articles across the U.S. and overseas

I told God that I sincerely desired Ephesians 3:20 blessings—and that I did not want to spend my entire life suffering, merely overcoming, and living in heartbreak.

Rethinking Suffering and God’s Nature

I understand deeply that following Jesus can include persecution and suffering.
But I do not believe life was intended to be endless tears, disappointment, pain, heartache, or surviving on crumbs from someone else’s table.

I believe God desires more for His children than we would ever desire for our own.

Years ago, I had a vision. I was standing in a massive room with God. I couldn’t see God’s face, but I could hear His voice. As far as I could see—upward and outward—were gold boxes with names etched on them.

I asked what they were.

God replied,

“These are all the promises I have for My children that they never claim.”

The Lie of a “Cosmic Bully” God

I believe God is good.

Sadly, culture—and parts of religion—have portrayed God as a cosmic bully: demanding, cruel, and only interested in being worshiped. This false image shapes people’s expectations of God. They stop expecting much at all.

They stop believing for the exceedingly, abundantly, above all they could ask or imagine.

They settle and call it holiness.
They settle and say, “It’s God’s will.”
They remain stuck, assuming God is only trying to teach them a lesson.

God is absolutely able to turn ashes into beauty. But that does not mean God needs to burn everything to the ground to create something beautiful.

The message that God turns messes into messages should never encourage people to create messes just to see what God will do.

I don’t need to cut myself to prove that a doctor knows how to stitch wounds.

An Invitation to Freedom

My encouragement to you is this:

Ask God where you may be settling for less than what He wants to give you.

Ask God where your heart or mind may be bound.
Ask for freedom.
Ask for fresh eyes to see yourself—and your destiny—through God’s eyes.
Ask God to heal any wounds caused by religious teaching that painted Him as a cosmic bully.

There is more for you.
More for you in God and with God.

You were never designed to live bound, overlooked, or surviving on crumbs. Ask God where you may be settling—and be brave enough to receive what He’s always wanted to give you.

Bonus link to the UAE Times Article: Empowered & Free in UAE Times Article

Love,

Erin Lamb

God Highly Values You!

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A lesson from my jeweler: what’s valued is not easily accessible.

My jeweler knows me; when I see her, she’s comfortable pulling diamonds and gems out of the case and handing them over to me. She knows who I am; she’s vetted me and sold me several pieces. You’ll note that everything that is real and costly is locked up – you cannot grab what you want. You’ll notice they do not offer diamonds at the price or availability of costume jewelry.

In human relationships, I’ve witnessed people offer themselves over to people who treat them horribly. Their open access, refusal to vet people, and lack of any boundaries lead to being used, abused, and mistreated.

Cheap and easy works well for fast food; it’s a recipe for disaster in matters of the heart.

I am not stating that materialism is the key to a good relationship, nor playing hard to get. I am stating that things shift when you start viewing access to you as something that requires vetting people. It is wise to see your value and worth and cease placing diamonds (your heart, body, time) in the hands of those who are not trustworthy. It means you allow people to see who you are, yet access to your inner world is reserved for those deemed trustworthy.

Early in my life I desired to love everyone and be an asset to everyone. What I learned were hard lessons. One lesson was love and access are not the same. You can love people and set boundaries with their access to you.

I talk about this in Relationships 101: Foundational Wisdom for Better Relationships. We choose the level of access people have to us.

I love traveling and I am planning to return to Asia soon. When I purchase tickets, they provide access to seats based on what we paid for in the ticket price. First Class seats are reserved for people who paid that price. Economy guests are not provided First Class privileges.

I was guilty of providing VIP treatment to economy people. I provided best friendship to lukewarm friends. I over invested in consumers. It was unwise and unhealthy.

When we know how valuable we are, we are highly selective of who has the closest access to us. We can love everyone. Trust is earned. Access is contingent on trust.

God placed such a high value on you that He paid the highest price to secure a relationship with you. You are not considered low value to God. It does not matter how others have interacted with you or treated you! What matters is the Creator of the Universe thinks the world of you! You were created on purpose. You are a handcrafted, original gem from the imagination of God.

Live loved.

Live on purpose.

Love,

Erin L Lamb

Live on Purpose!

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One of my life’s missions is to help people know God’s love and to encourage people to live empowered & free.

I sincerely believe we could solve an abundance of the world’s problems we lived out of the love God has for us. When we know the height, depth, and width of God’s love for us, we are able to love our neighbors. When we abide in love, we are even able to love our enemies.

Our culture focuses on friendship love (philia) or romantic love (eros). There is focus on family love (storage). The love God has for humanity is agape love (unselfish, sacrificial, unwavering, eternal love). God love is revolutionary. Experiencing God’s love melts away insecurities, fears, wounds, worries, and strengthens our weaknesses.

There is an additional bonus to knowing God’s love. It empowers us to live bold, confident, and purpose filled lives.

Everything God created has a purpose; it has a reason for being. Every person God created has a purpose. I do not believe we were created to live aimless lives nor die in hustle culture. Though hustle culture is popular, even God rested. I heard a pastor say that hustling is a curse; it’s overworking and chasing provision that God desires to grace us to have. Grace, to me, is God’s supernatural ability to do what we could not do on our own. Grace enables us to live on purpose.

God invites us to live on purpose.

When we live in alignment with purpose, we are invigorated by what we do.

When we live in alignment with purpose, we see better dividends. Our giftings make room for us.

When we live in alignment with purpose, we learn our why and live out of our why.

There is a sticky note on my office wall that reads, “Remember your why.” On the days I am unmotivated, it helps to recall the why. Why did God place me here? What am I doing daily to align with that purpose?

If we know God’s love, learn our purpose, discover our why, we live more fulfilled lives.

In a world where people are grappling for identity, security, provision, love, and fulfillment-there are answers in God.

If you’d like to learn more about finding your why and living on purpose, join us in Columbus, Ohio at The Purpose Workshop on March 7th, 2026. We only set aside 30 seats for this event. Grab your seat today.

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-purpose-workshop-with-author-erin-lamb-tickets-1980336949124?aff=oddtdtcreator

We’d also love to invite you to check out where we were recently featured in Women’s Insider.

https://womensinsider.com/from-survival-to-thriving-the-empowered-free-movement/

And check out the new author site: ErinLambAuthor.com.

Thank you for following this blog and your support over the years. You are appreciated.

Love,

Erin L Lamb

London Book Fair & LA Times Book Fair

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Relationships 101: Foundational Wisdom for Better Relationships is a book that was a labor of love. As stated I was watching my father slowly decline while writing this book, and he passed away in June 2024. I’ve also endured sub par relationships with people hoping to reveal to them the love of God. I put up with mistreatment at times, connections with people who demonstrated they did not possess the same values, and I was known for giving far more than I received in connections with people. Relationships 101 not only provides insight from studying human behaviors and facilitating soul healing sessions with people, it is a journey through my own challenges with interpersonal relationships.

The good news from all of this is the book is receiving notable attention with publishers and agents. We were asked to participate in the London Book Fair and the Los Angeles Times Book Fair. I am in contract negotiations currently. I am thankful for the opportunity and for this book to reach the masses. If you have not picked up your copy, you can grab it here: https://a.co/d/bbxRSut. It has a 5 star rating and our editorial preview gave it a 10/10. People have stated it’s a must read!

What a journey!

I’ve been writing since I was a child. It’s been one of my dreams to share insight and hopefully wisdom with people through literary work. As I’ve grown into an adult, I became passionate about helping people heal from traumatic relationships and cultivate healthier ones. Relationships can elevate or derail our lives. We are not victims to toxic relationships or mediocre ones. We get to choose.

I truly believe one of my reasons for being alive is to speak to this area. A chunk of what I learned in communities of faith about relationships was based on the culture, not the actual teachings or lifestyle of Jesus. Therefore, I and others had sub par relationships and attributed it to God teaching us how to love. Suffering in relationships became the goal, not thriving in them. I heard people teach that the goal of marriage was to make you holy, and the bible says no such thing. The bible states it is the role of the Holy Spirit to make you and I holy. I’ve watched people I deeply care for suffer through divorce or abuse in relationships. We can have better!! God longs to give us better relationships.

I hope this book assists people with having a healthier view of themselves, a healthier view of relationships, and it helps to mitigate marrying/dating/befriending the wrong people. I hope women especially are helped to bypass settling for less than what God would give them. God does not give bad gifts. I sincerely believe it is not God’s objective that we suffer in every relationship. Suffering is a byproduct of sin. There is no sin in God, nor in heaven.

If you’re in London (UK) or LA (USA), you may see me in the months to come. If there is a book signing, please stop by and say hello. I would love to greet you in person. Thank you for your support of this blog over the years! You are appreciated. I plan to carve out more time this year to blog.

If you’d like to stay up to speed with what’s happening with new books, products, programs, please join us on https://www.empowered-free.com/. The link provided is my business website.

What else is upcoming?

I am launching an online wellness community for girls and women Feb 1 entitled “Healthy, Wealthy, Confident & Free!” There are 7 pillars of focus and they are as follows: healthy mindset, get wisdom, nourish the body, emotional healing, confidence, healthy relationships, and building wealth. We will meet monthly for 7 months-1rst Saturdays of the month. Also included in the program will be monthly focus workbooks, exclusive membership to a private Facebook community, and recordings of sessions. You may sign up here: https://www.empowered-free.com/product-page/healthy-wealthy-confident-free-program.

I hope you either join us in the wellness community or pick up Relationships 101 on Amazon.com (https://a.co/d/jdq3i96https://a.co/d/iCP111t).

Once again thank you and God bless you! God bless you, keep you, and his face shine brilliantly upon you.

Love,

Erin Lamb

Understanding Mutual Love in Relationships

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Photo: Erin Lamb Author 2024

If you’re like me, you were taught to love other people-even at the expense of yourself. Love was modeled in a sacrificial way; it was viewed as selfish to desire anything in return. We were taught to be the “givers” in relationships. No one taught me directly that God desired mutuality in my relationships with other people or at church. The more you offered of yourself, the more people clapped. God was to meet your needs while you were meeting the needs of others. One day it dawned on me, “If I am to get all my needs met by God, why can’t these other people do the same?”

I’ve encountered a number of women in my lifetime who view themselves as “the help” or “the helper.” People read Genesis and tell women they are the “helper” to man. From the translation of the Bible into English until today, women have been considered “the help.” Actually, it began the moment Adam sinned. God warned Eve that Adam would seek to rule over her (because of sin) and she would seek to please him (because of sin). It was not God’s original design. Nor did God name Eve “the helper.” He called her ezer kenegdo. Which has a far more meaningful and powerful definition.

Ezer kenegdo: [Genesis 2:18 can be translated as “I will make a power [or strength] corresponding to man.”…What God had intended, then, was to make a “power” or “strength” for the man who would in every way “correspond to him” or even “be his equal.””]-God’s Word to Women.

I’ve worked with countless women in relationships with men who treat them as their subordinate or they use weaponized incompetence (they pretend they are unable to do certain tasks so their wives are overwhelmed with household tasks or caring for their kids). Mistreating women, treating them as inferior is seen as “normal” or “God’s idea,” when it’s not. The mistreatment of any human being can be tied back to sin. Selfishness is sin. Sexism is sin. Treating people like they are our slaves is not love. God is love.

I love that Jesus told his disciples to not be like the leaders in the world who seek to rule over others, that the greatest among them would be a servant. Jesus encouraged MUTUAL love, MUTUAL respect, and agape love (unselfish, sacrificial love). The intention was not that in all our relationships we would behave and love like Jesus while everyone else gets to be Judas. Jesus had genuine friendships: Mary, Martha, John and several women supported his ministry financially. He loved the entire world, yet only a few demonstrated that love in return.

I had to learn from God that the desire of His heart was not for me to have more people similar to Judas and Saul sitting around my table. He actually desired there would be people who value me the person, not how I can mentor them for free, invest in their lives with zero reciprocation, give while they consume, or to be in cycles of mistreatment. I had to learn that love without wisdom can be likened to foolishness. I endured relationships with people who should have only been ministry opportunities, not friendships. People violated my trust, heart, time, investments in them, and then could easily skip off into the sunset. Some left quietly, while some insulted me on the way out the door.

I had to make a choice to keep enduring those types of relationships, or to step away from tables where I was either starving to death or being poisoned. It does not mean all those people were bad human beings. It means they were not and are not the right people for me. I made the decision that I desired God’s best in relationships. I continued to do ministry, and separated people I serve in a ministry capacity from my friends.

I changed. I had to change. I did not desire to get to the end of my life and not experience the best God had to offer. I was also tired of wishy washy, fair weather friends, people who only showed up for their needs/prayer, and when it was convenient for them. I wanted better. I desired better. I wanted to experience genuine God love in numerous relationships before I died. I also no longer wanted to waste the gifts or time God gave me on people who would not value what was given to them.

What has been the outcome? I have people in my life now or those who remained who show up simply to bless me. People who reach out to say, “How are you? What can I do for you? How can I pray for you?” I’ve been invited to beautiful luncheons, given free suite/box seats at sports events, promoted numerous times at my newest job, and my office has an entire section with cards from people with kind notes. I am valued. I am loved. I am appreciated. I am not “the help.” I don’t have to beg for respect, love, attention, affection, or support. It’s freely given. More doors of opportunity have opened. My health has improved. The warfare in my life has lessened. I have zero relational drama. I have fun! I feel a level of safety in the connections around me. I do not believe they are smiling in my face while discussing me negatively behind closed doors. I am not traumatized or in cycles of being mistreated and them asking for forgiveness. They know how to steward my heart.

If you genuinely love people, trust God desires to place people in your life who KNOW how to love you. Trust that God desires His best for you, not just for you to be the best for everyone else. God is good. I had to learn that God did not orchestrate every relationship I had-even with professing Christians. Some of the Christians I’ve encountered in my lifetime have treated me the worst. Then they show up years later with a sad apology. Are they forgiven? Yes! Do I desire them back in my life. NO! I’d prefer to be set on fire or run over by a bus 50 times. There are people we are called to pray for, forgive, and then MOVE ON!

I hope you pick up Relationships 101: Foundational Wisdom for Better Relationships. I put my heart and soul into this book. My two favorite chapters right now are “Get Wisdom,” and “A Healthy Relationship Starts with You.” We can have better. We can have genuine love. We can have thriving friendships. We can experience God love through another person. The first step is to receive God’s love for ourselves. The second is to stop settling for less than God’s best! I’ve yet to meet anyone grateful they settled in life. You don’t have to settle.

If you don’t know how to treat people, the book provides tools for you too.

Get your copy of Relationships 101 today: https://a.co/d/6XFZvyj

Love,

Erin Lamb

Founder & CEO of Lamb Enterprises LLC

Relationships 101 Book Release

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This book has been a labor of love. Mainly because it contains stories from my own relationships and journey, as well as some from soul health clients. I cannot think of anything that can negatively or positively impact a life more than relationships. I believe we were created to have thriving relationships, yet it can be the most stressful parts of a person’s life. I had to learn some lessons the hard way and I call those wisdom bumps. You don’t need to learn everything via suffering. You can learn from my experiences and those of my clients.

Several of my favorite chapters are, “A Healthy Relationship Starts with You,” “Stop Talking to Snakes,” “Are You Watering Dead Plants,” and “Where is He Leading You.” I have an entire section devoted to the interesting characters. It focuses on the “God told me,” people and narcissists. It covers the breadcrumbers (the people who do just enough to keep you connected, yet they invest nothing substantial in you). There is a section on green flags and how to spot a healthy relationship. I put my heart and soul into this book. It covers family, work, friendship, dating, and marriage.

I’ve worked with countless couples in soul healing to see their marriages restored. All but 1 reconciled. The one couple that did not reconcile was because he preferred to be with men. I believe numerous relationships can be restored. Those that cannot, we can learn from them.

I learned I was an overinvestor. I desired to love people the way God loves me and in the end it left me with major deficits in my life. I invested in people while receiving little to nothing in return. I am worth more than that. I also forgave people over and over who mistreated me, yet they were not repentant nor of high quality. I accepted less than what I wanted in relationships. I was a blessing to people who were not a blessing in return. It sounds noble to be selfless, yet I will tell you confidently that God desires more for you!

There is a chapter called Pivot and I had to pivot. I changed. I removed some connections, changed my phone number, stopped being the initiator, ceased giving people countless chances to use/abuse me, and I stopped settling (there is an entire chapter devoted to settling). It’s vital we know what we want, know our own value/worth, and we stop settling for less!

The eBook was released last week and the paperback will be available within the next week. I hope you grab a copy and share with friends.

Link to pick up the eBook: https://a.co/d/5Mryfc4

With Kind Regards,

Erin Lamb

Founder & CEO of Lamb Enterprises LLC and Operation God is Love

Hospital or Hospice

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I love Yeshua. I love the person of Jesus and all He represents. I have been challenged over the course of my life by what people call “Christianity” vs. what I read in the Bible regarding the ministry of Jesus, the operations of the early church, and the guidance provided to followers of Jesus on how to behave. My heart is not to judge other Christians, nor the church. The assessment of who belongs to Jesus vs. who is going through the motions is not my job. I am not the Holy Spirit. What I will say is there is a great turning away from the organized religion of Christianity because many people are struggling to encounter Jesus within the culture.

I have heard people over the years judge people who leave churches with various statements and I desire to address some of those.

  1. “You still go to work if your boss or your colleagues mistreat you, so you need to come to church regardless of how people treat you here.” What’s wrong with this statement? Well, work is where they pay you to show up and perform. You are free to find another job if your employer treats you poorly. If it’s not a safe place, you have means to address these issues such as Human Resources, OSHA, or agencies dedicated to fair business practices. Your employer is in a contract with you to perform certain services for you while you serve their business. I doubt many people would show up to work if they were not paid to do so. No one pays you to go to church. You give the church money! You serve for free at the church (unless you are on staff) and often little appreciation if you are a volunteer. You are told you are doing this for God and to fulfill his mandate to you. Yet, the church is not to be held accountable to God’s guidance for leadership or how people are to be treated. The church, ministers, lay members are to be given grace/mercy/forgiveness and little to no accountability. There are ways to legally hold employers liable for abuse. So, yes people will go to work over going to church if there is a abuse. People can meet with God in their homes and forgo being mishandled by Christians in a building. Instead of anger over people staying home, ask why they don’t want to come.
  2. “This generation simply hates God and tradition.” What’s wrong with this statement? Well, I interact with the “younger generations” and those who are jaded by church. 99.9% of them I have encountered do not hate God or the Biblical representation of Jesus. They hate the hypocrisy of the church. They hate the turning a blind eye to racism, sexism, bigotry, and the obsession with a certain political party. I will say it here even if I lose followers-the obsession church people have over presidential nominee Trump led millions of people out of the church. I know it it cleared out a good number of my relationships. Why? Because there are countless Christians who said, “God chose this for us! No matter what Trump says or does (even if it grossly misrepresents Jesus) we will stand by him. We are willing to ditch our friends, the teachings of Jesus, our family, and anything or anyone not in agreement with him.” Millions of people left the church. And when I have spoken to supporters of this movement, they do not seem to care. I promise Jesus cares. Additionally, some of what Christians call the “traditions of God” are nothing more than the traditions of the religious. It’s void of the actual heart and teachings of Jesus. There is no ambiguity in who Jesus is nor what he stood for. Our “traditions” are not more important than the work of the Holy Spirit in people’s lives. Jesus offended the religious of his day and their traditions. He called them blind guides. They led people into religious bondage. I’ve found people desire authentic Jesus of Nazareth, not the religion of the church.
  3. “You can’t say anything negative about God’s church because he will defend his bride.” Well, if you read the New Testament there are letters to the churches of CORRECTION. Say what? Though people love to pick and choose what parts of Apostle Paul’s letters they pay attention to-he sent letters of correction and rebukes to Christians and churches. “Who has bewitched you? Are you are servant of Paul or of Christ?” I’ve read the Bible from cover to cover numerous times. God corrects his own people. He sent prophets in the Old Testament and apostles in the New Testament times. God does not give the church a pass to do whatever they want with zero accountability. It is because of God’s love that we are offered correction. “God disciplines those he calls a child,” (Hebrews 12:6).
  4. “Church is just a hospital for sick people, do not expect people to treat you right here.” This is my least favorite of them all. I would like for people to stop saying this. Hospitals are places where the sick go with the intention of recovery. Nurses and doctors work to assist people with getting BETTER! You are supposed to get better. If the people at our churches come evil (sick) and leave behaving like the devil (sick), then it’s not a hospital-it’s HOSPICE. Hospice is the place where people go sick, they stay sick until they die. Churches are not hospitals nor should they be hospice. The ministry of Jesus radically transformed people’s lives. They left him either offended or better. The church is intended to be a place where people GROW UP! Where they spiritually, emotionally, and mentally grow up. It is supposed to be a place where people become more like Christ in their heart and behaviors. I want people to stop using this excuse and examine why there are toxic behaving people in our churches who are offered no accountability or mentoring.

I truly believe when God said, “Be imitators of Christ,” he meant it (see Ephesians 5:1). Christians are supposed to behavior better than the non believing! Our character is supposed to better. We are supposed to be more loving, honest, faithful, and compassionate. The people who do not know God calling the church to a higher standard is righteous. Jesus stated we would recognize his genuine disciples by their unselfish love (agape love).

Blaming people we mistreat for not desiring connection with the church or Christians is futile. Most are not running from God. They are running from people who claim to know God and behave nothing like Jesus. They are disinterested in being used, abused, mistreated, ghosted, gas lit, abandoned for no legit reason, experiencing apathy, and a genuine lack of God love. Expecting people to subject themselves to mismanagement of their heart, time, or resources is unjust. I believe there is an issue within Christian communities of entitlement (people owe me relationship/friendship or access while I provide nothing good in return) and a deep lack of abiding in God love.

I have been mishandled by countless Christians. Do I forgive them? Yes. Do I pray for them? Yes. Do I want to continue to engage in close connection with them? NO! I do not. Why? Because my time on earth is limited and I need to complete what God sent me here to do. I allowed way too many Christians to waste my time. What they need is therapy, counseling to deal with their bad relationship habits, to accept responsibility for their poor stewardship of people, and some may need an exorcism. I am not joking. I grew tired of being mishandled so I ceased initiating with people who did not reciprocate goodness. It’s unwise to keep pouring into people, opportunities, or organizations where you are not valued. Please don’t believe the lie I was taught that if I gave my all to Christians God would replenish me. It kept me trapped in cycles of unnecessary trauma, drama, and it was a distraction. God re-planted me with people who value who I am and what I offer. I am currently surrounded by people who mutually invest, they initiate goodness, and I don’t have to do all the work. God cares how we treat people and how they treat us! People need to choose to work on themselves.

How do we move into loving like God? We must know God’s love for ourselves. I hope there is a breaking away from the false teaching of “Love God, love your neighbor, and love yourself last.” I think it has crippled countless Christians. The Bible is clear we are to love our neighbor AS we love ourselves. The God centered pathway of love is as follows: Receive love from God, love God and yourself, then go love your neighbor AS you love yourself. Too many people are attempting to love people from their own well and it’s empty. A bankrupt person has nothing to offer you! If I do not love myself, I cannot love you or anyone else.

Religion and our religious traditions do not make us more Christlike. Relationship with Jesus of Nazareth and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit transforms us from the inside out.

How to treat people better:

a. Ditch entitlement. People don’t owe us relationship, access, connection, ministry, forgiveness, love, friendship, service to our church or ministry. These things are gifts. If improperly stewarded, you may lose a connection/relationship. The grass grows where you water it! Be grateful if someone is good to you.

b. Do not ask of people what you would not be willing to do! Please stop this. If you are not willing to give up your vacation to go serve someone, don’t ask them to do it. Yes, this has happened to me. People call me on vacation with their prayer needs or expect me to give up vacay to see them. They have a pastor, call them.

c. Show up as an investor instead of a consumer. Reciprocate. You serve instead of desiring everyone else serve you. Reach out when you don’t need prayer, help, support, or you’re bored or lonely.

d. Your politics are not more important than Jesus. I don’t care who you vote for, simply cease adding Jesus’ name onto your party or person of preference.

e. Work on you. Deal with soul wounds and bad habits. If you mistreat people, ask for forgiveness. Don’t just show up years later as though you have done nothing wrong. Be accountable for your choices and treatment of people.

This is a long post, yet I hope it helps someone!

Love,

Erin