Maybe you have heard someone say to you that God does not care about your tears, He’s only concerned with your faith. I heard that growing up and it did something to my view of God. I believed all I needed to do was muster up enough faith and God would be so proud of me. If I was sad, hurt, damaged, or needed to cry-God was unconcerned. He was shouting from His throne, “Pick yourself up by your bootstraps and forge on in faith. Your feelings are meaningless to me. All I care about is you believe what I say.” God was impersonal and cold. God was unconcerned and task driven. God cared about my performance and not my heart.
Guess what? Believing a lie about God damages the way we view God and blocks intimacy with God. My response when hurting was to remove God from my emotions and handle them by myself. I also learned to bury sadness and live numb. I ran across Christians similar to myself who were shamed for crying, shamed for feeling anything but powerful, made to feel inferior because their faith did not change all their feelings. Instead of running to God, there was a wall erected. Their humanity is reduced to acts of religious duty, pretending to have it all together, throwing scripture on every problem.
You’ve kept track of all my wandering and my weeping. You’ve stored my many tears in your bottle—not one will be lost. For they are all recorded in your book of remembrance.-Psalm 56:8 (TPT).
The Lord is close to all whose hearts are crushed by pain, and he is always ready to restore the repentant one,-Psalm 34:18 (TPT).
He will swallow up death forever; and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces, and the reproach of his people he will take away from all the earth, for the Lord has spoken.-Isaiah 25:8 (ESV)
“Go and say to Hezekiah, Thus says the Lord, the God of David your father: I have heard your prayer; I have seen your tears. Behold, I will add fifteen years to your life.”-God (Isaiah 38:5)-ESV.
When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled.-John 11:33.
Jesus wept.-John 11:35.
Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.-1 Peter 5:7 (ESV).
There are plenty of scriptures where God responded to the hurting and promised that those who go forth in weeping, would come back with joy. He promised to wipe the tears from our faces. He promised to be close to the brokenhearted. God is not cold. God is not off put by emotions.
God cares about your feelings and my feelings. God also cares about faith. I believe it’s an act of faith to run to God instead of away from Him in times of pain. It requires faith to allow God into the pain versus trying to do it oneself. To turn to God when we are hurting, when we don’t understand, and in grief, is a sign of trust.
I want people to run to God and cry it out if necessary. It does not make you weak or faithless. Jesus had perfect faith and shed tears. I honestly hope one day the traditions of misrepresenting God fall by the wayside and people encounter God as is, not as humans have presented God to be.
God cares about you.
God cares about what damages your heart, mind, body, and emotions.
God is close to the brokenhearted and cares about every detail of your life.
My encouragement is run to God with what hurts you and trust that God cares. My other encouragement is do not ignore your emotions. Emotions are indicators. Process them. Tend to them. Forgo stuffing them. Throwing scriptures at them may not remove them. It may require sitting with God and/or someone training in soul health to process through the pain.
I have spent the past 8 years helping people with soul wounds process their pain. Every time God is invited to help them, God responds. There is more kindness in God than there is in humans. There is more compassion in God than in humans. God is far better at caring about people than we are. Sadly the religious and humans who claim to know God have grossly misrepresented Him.
They say one of the most certain things is change. I can agree that life can present a set of unpredictable events that change the course of life for us. We can imagine one trajectory and in a split second life shifts us to something new.
I had a conversation with my financial advisor last week and she asked me where I envisioned myself 10 years ago, today, and 10 years in the future. What a loaded question. I had to journey back through the events of the past ten years and one phrase that stood out for me was “I survived.” Ten years ago I was focused on survival and overcoming all the challenges. I was not focused on thriving. My life centered around survival and service to the church. I, on several occasions, put myself last in service to the Christian church. No matter how poorly I was treated at times I kept loving and serving. I was in place of being pressured to persevere, forgive, and keep loving-even if it was negatively impacting my mental health.
There are rounds of applause in Christianity when you sacrifice yourself on the altar of of the church. Who doesn’t love a good martyr? Put yourself last, never think of your needs, and if you break down then you must have a low level of faith. It was largely ignored the 80-85% of the congregation who were spiritual consumers. They would show up week after week with their needs, wants, prayer requests, and then frolic off into the sunset under the umbrella of your intercession. Nothing more was asked of them or required. As long as they showed up, they could be the “entertain me, coddle me, make me feel good,” congregation. You, the unpaid service to the church, better show up early to set up and do it with a smile for the Lord. You better fast and pray. You better turn the other cheek. You better serve with joy because it’s for Jesus.
What I learned is everything done at churches is not for Jesus. It’s for the church and those two entities are not always aligned, especially in Western culture. What Jesus required of people was far different. He told people, “Go OUT into the world and let them see who I am through your love, light, and sharing of the Gospel.” Jesus told His followers to be active in their love, devotion and service of one another. This differs from the current model of 10-20% of the congregants do 100% of the work and the rest show up to take and add no value. The church is referred to in the Gospels as a body. If my natural body only has a few organs working, it will atrophy, be less effective or ineffective, and potentially die.
The winds of change shifted me from giving all I had to the organized church to taking better care of my mental and emotional health, my family, my career, and my overall well-being. Christians broke me of killing myself for them while they were consuming everything they could without depositing much or anything at all. They would suck any life they could out of me and then some became angry when I was not eager to be their Jesus substitute. I was expected to trust God to meet my needs, while they (some) relied on me to meet theirs. I recognized the inequity and I was not in a body that the disciples described. I was in the colonized “Christianity model” where it centered on taking from people and building spiritual empires.
I will note I have two small circles of Christian women who mutually invest, they have been a blessing. I have two-three Christian men as friends. That’s a handful of people and I have interacted with thousands of Christians in my lifetime. Overall 80-85% of the Christians I have interacted with in my life have been consumers, users, apathetic, unhelpful, unkind, or just seeking me for some form of ministry to their needs. I have not encountered the love of Jesus through them. It’s NOT what Jesus modeled or taught His followers to be.
I woke up one day desiring change…Sometimes we change because we are forced to do so! Sometimes we change or transition because it’s too painful to remain the same.
2018 forced me out of my career supporting the US Military. It also forced plenty of church friends out of my life. 2019 changed the course of my trajectory as I stepped back into corporate with a new industry. It felt like starting all over again and I am still learning. 2020 forced me to examine my mostly silent approach to racism in the church and the political spirit that is quite notably aligned with the Pharisees. It cost me more than I expected to use my voice, yet I don’t regret it. Black lives matter and I don’t care if people exit my life because I said it. I did not vote for Trump and will not in 2024. I don’t care if I lose more people over that choice either. More church friends exited my life because I chose to wear face masks to honor the sick and those who could be impacted by COVID. 2021 changed my life with my father moving closer to us to help him with a not great health prognosis. 2022 changed the trajectory of my life as I stepped into a leadership role with 8 direct reports/staff in my corporate job.
The twists and turns have taught me the following…
God will see me (us) through any storm.
The organized church is not Jesus and sadly fails to represent Him well (esp in social justice crisis), even when they think or say they do. My greatest prayer is the earthly church aligns with Jesus of Nazareth. We have a ways to go.
I am here on earth to bring about change, not fit in with the culture.
I am okay with losing people and people hating me.
God works all things together for good if we love and follow.
Change can be painful and cause grief-grieve the expectations of something different.
A seed must die for something new to be reborn.
The people who truly love me, the person, not Erin the mentor/minister/helper, are not going anywhere!
Queens turn pain into power.
Though change can be unsettling, it’s often necessary.
God never intended our lives be cycles of endless suffering.
God ordained connections are mutually life-giving.
God expects we will take care of ourselves.
I don’t owe the church my life nor every professing Christian.
It’s possible to be comfortable with something or someone who is holding us back.
I end with a positive note to you: Change is inevitable. In order to move forward and to become our best selves, it will involve change. A river that does not move becomes stagnant and stale. Some changes may break your heart and then align your destiny. I am certain the cross hurt Jesus. Betrayal hurt Jesus. His transformation was necessary. So is yours. So is mine. I am not stating we will all suffer greatly for greatness to emerge from us. I am stating that it’s okay to adjust your sails and allow the winds of change to carry you the next destination. Life is an adventurous journey.
Do we look, talk, or behave any differently than those who do not claim to know Jesus? I ask myself this question, so not picking on anyone else. I will say since 2016 I have encountered countless people who exited Christianity over the church’s obsession with a political party and candidate, over the blatant ignoring or horrible responses to racial unrest (our job is supposed to be justice and reconciliation, not throwing black on black crime stats at people (btw white on white crime is higher!)) or ignoring the pain of hurting people, over the nastiness, rebellion, and vileness that has come out of some Christians over face masks or not getting their way.
The primary allegiance is to be God for a believer, not the earthly country where we were born. Our greatest loyalty is to God, not a flag or nation. Our mandates first come from heaven, not the government. We are Ambassadors of Heaven on earth if we are truly united with God. We showcase who He is, His vision, His character and attributes. We are not our own! We live under the jurisdiction of a Higher Power, the highest power. We reverence God first!!! We worship God, not politicians, not political party, not ourselves, not ideologies, not the church, not ministers, not money, not pleasure, not youth, not marriage, not sex, not keeping up the Joneses, not miracles/signs/wonders, not material possessions. We worship GOD; the God of Abraham, Issac, and Jacob.
We are in this world, yet not of this world. We are children of the light, not traffickers of the darkness. We are royalty. We are are seated in heavenly places with Jesus, if we are truly united with Him. We are not led by our flesh or worldly passions. We are led by the Spirit of God who continually bears good fruit.
Those who do not have the Spirit of God in them are NOT the children of God, not heirs, and will not enter into the Kingdom of Heaven. There is no condemnation (final judgement of God’s wrath) for those who are in Christ Jesus who LIVE according to the Spirit and NOT after the flesh. If you and live according to the flesh (the selfish, self centered, ego, me first, lustful pursuits) we are unwise to think God is going to slap a gold star on us and say, “Good job.” God corrects those He calls a son or daughter.
I ask God to deal with me more than anyone else. God change me from the inside out and allow that transformation to manifest in such a way that it glorifies your Son. He paid the highest price to pull me out of death and into the light. I am no longer a slave, I am God’s friend. I ask God to purge me of limiting beliefs, any false beliefs from growing up in church (some people meant well, yet they taught things the wrong way), and I ask God to help me crucify my flesh so it comes up into alignment with heaven. What does this mean. I ask God to help me to not live out of my ego, out of selfishness, out of the me-centric worldview. You know, the “God bless me and no one else,” mantra.
So my prayer for us today is we cast aside living like the world and live abiding (remaining intimately connected) to Jesus. May we know Jesus for ourselves, know God’s love, and then reveal who He is to the world. God cares far more where people spend eternity than for our comfort. Earth is our temporary assignment, heaven is our permanent home. We live from and for eternity!
God bless you! Seek first the precepts, presence, and knowledge of God.
Happy New Year! I hope this year is an incredible year for you. God is good. God is incredibly good. One of my favorite verses has been out of the Psalms, it is Psalm 84: 11 and it is as follows:
For the Lord God is brighter than the brilliance of a sunrise! Wrapping himself around me like a shield, he is so generous with his gifts of grace and glory. Those who walk along his paths with integrity will never lack one thing they need, for he provides it all!
God withholds nothing good from those who walk uprightly. When I look over my life, even in my challenges I have seen the goodness of God. He is a sun and a shield. God is a strong tower. God is truth. God is faithful. God is kind. God is unlike anyone else I have ever met on this planet. God is my family.
The Bible states that those who believe in God are to be family to each other, safe, kind, loving, generous, helpful, servants, trustworthy, and forgiving. I have spent my life in churches and I would not call most Christians safe or loving. I would say my greatest betrayals in life came from people who still show up Sunday after Sunday saying they love God. I am not a perfect person. I have flaws, we all do. Yet I cannot think of one person I have betrayed. I cannot think of one person I knowingly worked against them or tried to harm them. My experiences with the collective called “Christians” or “Christianity” has not been this way. I will say there are a handful of professing Christians who have been amazing (outside biological family), yet they are few and I cherish them.
What is this good thing that Christians are offering to the world? How are we living that is so different than the world? Honestly, I have connections with people in the marketplace who do not even know Jesus who have treated me better than professing Christians.
I started examining what we teach people Christianity is in my country. This version of Christianity was okay with murdering Indigenous people, okay with raping/enslaving Africans, okay with subjugation of women, okay with violating the very nature of Christ. The version of Christianity I have seen the past 4-6 years is more concerned with who you vote for than whether you know Jesus. More concerned with building mega churches than helping the poor. Chanting for the rights of the unborn while ignoring loving the person in front of them. More concerned with whatever the current conspiracy theory is or being anti-vax or anti-facemask than loving thy neighbor. I don’t care where you stand on the face masks or vaccines, it’s the level of hatred, vile, and cruelty I have seen emerge from people when they encounter someone who does not agree with them.
I look at Christianity and go, “What is this? This is not the Jesus I read about in the Bible, nor the one I know from years of relationship.” Along with that, people add God’s name onto whatever unkind agenda they have. God is telling them to be unloving, unkind, cruel, brutal, or savage.
I thought that maybe we are dealing with something new, yet we are not. What we are seeing today is a manifestation of the version of Christianity that was sown on these shores in the 1400s, the “Me-Centered Gospel.” It’s the “God bless me and no one else.” It’s the “I will do whatever I need to do to get my way.” It is the “I will push you in the dirt if you don’t agree with me.”
I am not this type of Christian and ceased telling people I am a Christian at all. I tell people I am a follower of Jesus. I am not interested in America’s version of Christianity. I am not interested in worshiping a flag, political candidate, or political party. I am not interested in love of country and getting my way over love of the Kingdom of God.
The American church is not my family. Many times the collective is focused on things God is not even doing. However, they add His name to the agenda so that must be it right? Wrong, like ancient Israel my Nation has often missed the voice of God and traveled her own way after idols. I say as Jesus said, “My family are the ones who do the will of my Father.”
If you are not American, please do not follow our example. Look to Jesus. Follow Jesus. If you are American, please do not follow the example of other Christians. Follow Jesus. To those who say to me that I am cynical and God is pleased with the American church, I beg to differ. I sensed from the Lord in 2018 that a shaking was coming to the church and America. Many platform Christians said blessing was coming. Nope. 2020 shut the doors of many churches. While many blamed the devil or Democrats (which I have no party affiliation, so please do not send me a nasty message. I will throw it in the garbage), I rarely heard anyone saying maybe God was reprimanding the church. You see, I have been doing street ministry for almost a decade and one of the number reasons people want nothing to do with Jesus is because of Christians. God is NOT represented as He is or even well. It’s difficult to represent someone you don’t know! America’s version of Christianity is rooted in religion. Religion is not the same as relationship. We will NOT bear the fruit of Jesus through religion. Jesus stated “I am the Vine, you are the branches. If you abide in me, you WILL bear good fruit.” The reason the fruit is bad in my Nation is because you and I cannot bear fruit from religion or a political spirit or nationalism or even pride.
In 2020 when I did not agree with all the prophetic words about who would be President I had Christians literally curse me out, tell me I was not saved, threaten me, harass me, and send me nasty messages. I have been talking about racism, sexism, and other things that go on in Christiandom that are not aligned with Jesus and have made more enemies and lost some connections. I truly don’t care about any loss for me. I am used to Christians being offended with me and then showing their butts. I know it’s a graphic phrase, yet church people have done things to me I would not do to my worst enemy. Some of them attach God’s name to their meanness and if their God is the one I am worshiping I question why. Jesus has never cursed me out then said the the Father told Him to do it.
I am sad for the world that has poor examples of what God is like. There is a MASS exodus from churches and it’s not because people hate God. They see the devil in the church and prefer the devil who knows he’s the devil. Or they are seeking house churches or online church.
The other day I cried for God. I shed tears for Him. I keep asking Him to make me a better person, not a bitter person. I do understand why people are deconstructing their faith, leaving organized church, and moving away from American Christianity. I hope I never walk away from Jesus. I do know the past few years have made me question greatly what American’s call Christianity. American Christianity is not for me. It does not look like Jesus to me. Jesus is my hope. The Kingdom of Heaven is my home. Following Jesus is what I desire to do. I am not into the other things people say is “Christian.”
I leave you with this dream I had a year or so ago. I was in this beautiful white church filled with people. I heard a commotion outside. People were screaming. I looked up and a man was standing next to me. He said, “You must get out now.” I told him I needed to help others and he said, “You must go now.” I got up and when I went outside there was a gigantic lion attacking people. They were being shredded to death. I still wanted to stop and help people. The man yelled loudly, “Get in the car and get out now. Don’t look back.” I drove off and did not look back. I sensed in 2020 there would be a major dividing line in churches, like two distinct camps emerging. I saw that transpire over politics. I sensed again in 2022 (last week) there would be an even deeper divide. There will be those who seek to follow Jesus and those who seek to keep going with religion.
I am not asking you to take my words and run with them. Talk to God for yourself. Pray. Fast and pray. Ask God what His heart is for what America calls “Christianity.” Is He pleased with it? Or have Christians just attached God’s name on the agenda and it’s not even worshiping the real God.
I have never seen people behave as poorly as what I have seen the past 4-6 years. I pray for my nation, yet as stated my heart is to simply follow Jesus. Even if I lose mother, father, sister, brother, church people, etc…they will never be more important than Him and completing the mission for Him. The church is not a building, it’s supposed to be a people. God did not send Jesus to build a religion or political party, He sent Him to build a family. My prayer is God continues to purge me and that I finish this race well. I hope that God changes the American Church so she resembles Jesus.
Leaving American Christianity in search of the real Jesus…
City Outreach to the poor & homeless last Saturday (homeless camp)
True Christianity (Following Jesus) Cares About the Poor, Hurting, & Life Once Born.
My life changed sitting with children where their parents sold them into sex slavery, one girl they chained in the yard like a dog, another sold for 5 dollars a sexual experience so they would have food to eat. I have seen children homeless on the streets of my city, living in cars or tents with their parents. I once saw a 4 year old in the freezing cold with her grandma with no coat (they were homeless). I cried myself to sleep that night. I had layers of clothes on, they had little to nothing.
I have talked to people of color terrified to have brown children due to racism in America and police brutality. So when people say they are pro life and they care nothing about the poor, nothing about human trafficking, nothing about child abuse, nothing about racism, it’s a lie. You are pro fetus.
In my years of service to the poor and people on the streets, I have heard countless “Christians” tell me they are not called by God to do anything for the poor, though Jesus specifically calls it out over and over and over. There are numerous bible verses about caring for the poor. God takes it seriously.
Sometimes in my view, American “Christianity” is about controlling others/forcing beliefs onto others that may not even be lived by the people trying to force it onto others. That’s what settlers did to natives and Africans. It’s what has continued in this culture. “I will say I am a ‘Christian’, force my beliefs on you by law, treat you quite poorly, not love you or care about you as God commanded. I will look down on you because obviously I am superior. I will live opposite of what Jesus lived. I will become angry if you do not wish to be like me.”
Cultural “Christianity” is a LIE! It’s not rooted in Jesus. It is not about loving thy neighbor, laying our lives down, dying to self, caring about the least/last/lost. It’s about appearing holy without living holy. Hence, I strongly dislike cultural “Christianity.” It is a false doctrine. It does not match what Jesus taught or lived.
“I was hungry, you did not feed me. Naked you did not clothe me. In prison, you did not visit me. What you have done to the least of them, you have done unto me.”~Jesus.
This year has brought out the gold in some people and exceptional cruelty/the worst in others. I call it an unveiling year. We always had issues in my nation; now they are more visible.
I understand there has been stress, uncertainty, life changes, and for some they are living on the edge. We all need grace, kindness, the benefit of the doubt, and mercy is greater than judgement. Then there is a time to stand up, speak out, and set boundaries with people who are way out of line.
I do not know about you, yet I have witnessed things in cultural “Christianity” that do not align with God love (unselfish, sacrificial love).
Face Mask Mania:
I have witnessed grown adults having 2 year old tantrums over face masks. Some have cursed out store employees, destroyed property, and given others COVID. Wearing a mask to demonstrate to your neighbor you care about them is not being weak. It’s actually loving to consider other people.
I have heard people say, “Well, I am not afraid, and this is violating my rights.” Yet the same people wear clothes and shoes into the stores. Those are mandatory. The same people wear seat belts. Those are mandatory. The same people yield to traffic signs.
Sometimes loving our neighbors costs us something. I know of people who have died from COVID. My parents are much older (I came later in life). If someone could have prevented them from getting COVID and chose not to attesting their rights, and my parents died, I would be furious! Yes, God heals. Yes, God protects. God also considers people who are afraid, hurting, not healed, have no health insurance, etc.
I want to make a t-shirt for my merch site that says, “It’s not just about you. I looked at the center of the Universe and found God, not your photo.”
Jesus stated, “Love your neighbor AS you love yourself.” I know this is challenging and can only be done by abiding in Jesus. I have to ask God to help me love some people and to walk in love. I am not perfect. I am still being refined. I try to let Him love through me.
Jesus could have been the biggest ego maniac as the Son of God. Meaning His status was and is King of kings. He chose humility. Humility involves lowering ourselves and considering others.
Degrading and Mocking:
I have been talked down to, mocked, and treated poorly by “Christians” because of my stance against racist things and posting about racism this year. I am accustomed to churchy people attacking me because I do not just go along with the crowd.
There are people degrading and mocking other human beings while claiming to be pro-life. I have seen “Christians” stand up and support a murderer aligned with their political party, yet claim to be pro-life. Some have celebrated the death of someone who was pro-choice. I have seen people using another person’s tragedy to promote their political agenda (using a miscarriage to drag a pro-choice person through the mud). I have heard racist comments from professing “Christians”, leaders, pastors, people claiming to represent Jesus. I have seen levels of dishonor from professing believers that was and is absolutely demonic. It’s not how Jesus behaves nor how He behaved. It is from the pit.
I want to say this clearly. The world watches the way Christians behave. They often see the hypocrisy of the church better than anyone in the church. I have spoken to quite a few people about their gross disappointment with the church especially in the areas of justice, addressing racism, politics (turning a blind eye to gross sin in their chosen political party or political leader while screaming “You’re evil,” at them, for not caring about those terrified about COVID, and noticing extreme arrogance in people claiming to be a Christian especially those who are in a leadership or government role.
I may lose followers for posts like these, yet my loyalty is to Jesus. Despite behaviors of pastors, leaders, other Christians, politicians, and even the President-we answer to God for ourselves! If we claim to be a Christian, Jesus is the standard. God looks at how we live, notes everything we say, and we will give an account for how we represented Him on earth.
I hear people say they would die for Jesus. No you wouldn’t if you won’t even put on a face mask to help those around you. I hear people say they want to lead millions into knowing Jesus. Well, that involves sacrifice and dying to self. Would anyone want to know Jesus by the lifestyle we live in front of them? I see people running away from God due to political and rude professing Christians.
This whole notion that we are the center of the Universe and not God, is not only unbiblical, it’s dangerous. It is dangerous because we can think we are following Jesus when we are actually not following Jesus at all.
I am reading through the entire bible and right now I am in Matthew. The things Jesus said were radical. “If your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out,” meaning we are responsible for our actions. He did not say, “Blame the other person and scream about your rights.”
Jesus said, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” I could hear Jesus preaching this today and people screaming, “No Jesus! Blessed are ALL people. All people are blessed!!” There is something wrong when we make everything about us.
Something is wrong in a culture where there is zero consideration for others. Something is wrong when Christians are linked to cruelty rather than compassion. Something is wrong when the behavior of the church looks more like the world than Jesus.
I have ceased looking at my personal Facebook until I can clean it out due to the conflict “Christians” have caused on my page. No person should feel hostage or bullied on their own page. Why is this happening? People think my page is their territory to say whatever they like and quite a few love to make posts about them, especially the posts addressing racism. It’s funny the most vocal have not been recipients of racism. However, they show up to debate me or offer opinions regarding things they do not understand. They are harmful!!! I had to start a private, unseen group to discuss racism safely with people of color.
Who have been the ones causing strife on my page? Professing Christians. I ask this question, “Is this who we are?” Do we truly want to be lumped in the category of cruel, selfish, lacking compassion, mean spirited, narcissistic, uncaring, apathetic, mockers? I know Jesus is none of those things.
My encouragement to the world is “Let’s do better!” My encouragement to Christians is, “Please consider Jesus as the standard, not leaders of our time. Choose Jesus. Follow Jesus.” The same Jesus who flipped over tables and rebuked people to their faces was willing to die on a cross for them. I meet people who will not even endure 10 minutes of being uncomfortable to show love to someone else.
My hopes are people are pointed at the real Jesus! The Jesus who washed feet even though He was king. The Jesus who denied Himself and chose death to give us life. He put Himself in harms way to save our lives. Jesus who went out of His way to demonstrate unselfish, sacrificial love. Are we? Do people seen any hint of Jesus in us? Because we are walking billboards for Him. He wants the world to know Him. Jesus came to point the world to the Father. We have an incredible opportunity to do the same.
God gave the church copious opportunities in 2020 to demonstrate His love, compassion, selflessness, helping hand, and work for justice. Are we adding value anywhere other than our comfy Christian bubbles? The world around us is hurting.
Church buildings may have closed. Street corners did not. I have gone out on the streets almost every month this year; feeding people, clothing people, praying for people, sharing the Gospel, going to protest sites to love people, etc…Operation God is love paid for groceries for families laid off by COVID. One month we had a line of hungry people because no one was coming to feed them. Jesus does not stop being Jesus in a crisis. Jesus shows up with solutions. He invites His followers to do the same.
Taking Supplies to the Streets
May we sink into Jesus, follow Jesus, and represent Him well.
The Parable of the 4 Sons (What we see depends on where we are standing)
There were 4 sons who lived on a farm with their dad. They each loved to play and could get quite rowdy at times. They loved adventure, climbing trees, and throwing rocks down by the creek. Sometimes they would get dirty and their clothing would demonstrate how elaborate their adventure was for the day.
They would come home at days with dirt filled grins. Their father was a firm believer in cleanliness. He would stop them at the door and demand they take off their mud marked shoes before entering the house.
The one son he would brush the dirt off his face, give him at atta boy for being his son, offer him extra soap and towels and send to the shower.
The second son he send to the shower with no praise, no affection, and no extra soap.
The third son he completely ignored. That son was accustombed to simply following his brothers and showering after them.
The fourth son he took out back and beat him, called him names, and then sent him to shower.
Over the years the boys noticed that their joy in play diminished. Two of the brothers (the ones mistreated) did not enjoy their adventures as much any more. The fourth son seemed stressed, depressed, and had been slipping at school. He eventually skipped out on play all together to go be alone. He knew his punishment for play would be severe. He would slip into the house unnoticed. He simply wanted to survive his childhood.
As time moved on the boys grew up and left home. The fourth son was eager to leave. His body and his heart still had scars from the abuse he suffered as a child. He found there were safe places out in the world, yet there was still trauma in his soul.
He met a young lady who was a writer at university. She explained to him that writing was therapeutic. She encouraged writing his story. The fourth son knew his story would paint his father in a bad light. He pondered for months what to do. He decided telling the truth was the way to go. He wrote his book A Fractured Lens and it became a national best seller.
His family became enraged! How could he do such a thing. His father worked so hard to provide for them!! His father was an upstanding Christian man!!! His other brothers had no complaints. He had to be making it up and just venegful and ungrateful. If his father did whip him, he must have deserved it. The town turned on the fourth son and told him to never return. The first and second son came to their father’s defense. They said their father was the kindest man they knew. They tried to find stories to discredit their brother. The third son remained quiet. While he did not know the benevolent father the other two sons knew, he also did not know the extreme abuse the fourth son knew. So, he slid into his corner to bypass any confrontation.
Fortunately for the fourth son one neighbor saw his brutal whippings. She would sneak out of her home to tend to him with first aid. She saw the rage, the anger, the pain the fourth son suffered. She stood as an ally for him. The fourth son still had marks on his body from the abuse.
Teachers in the town after reading the book felt great sorrow because they failed to see the writing on the wall. The fourth son lost interest in play, constantly looked down, came to school sometimes bruised/looking defeated, and never liked going home. They could not fathom just one of four being abused and the father was so charming with everyone else. They did nothing to help.
The father read the book, knew what he had done, yet wanted to have the story removed from every bookstore. He should be forgiven and not have his dirty laundry out there. He wanted stories told of how he treated his other sons, the ones he loved. He wanted his church attendance on record. He wanted to be painted as a hero.
The fourth son refused to remove his book from shelves. He received countless letters from people with similar experiences finding healing in the book. They were too afraid to tell their stories, yet the fourth son told his. He began to fight against abuse of children.
When asked if he regretted telling his story, he replied, “No. I suffered greatly as a child and bearing my untold story has caused greater suffering. I am healing. Others are healing too because they recognize they are not alone.”
My take/why I wrote this:
The moral of the story is people can live in the same house or the same country and have different experiences. It is challenging to see a different perspective. I meet people who cannot see nor refuse to listen to someone else’s experiences. Especially if those experiences paint their beloved ideals or a person/place they love in a bad light.
Our vantage point and experiences matter. The neighbor who helped the fourth son saw the violence, she had a different response/perspective. The first and second brothers did not see the violence and because they were treated far better they were upset for any complaints. The father knew he was abusive, yet wanted to hide his sins instead of confess them and address them. The fourth son carried the story, scars, and the trauma. The third son did not see the abuse, yet knew his father treated the first and second son better than him. He remained silent.
I meet with clients who have been severely abused by people others put on a pedestal. They go to church and abuse their family. They have great jobs and abuse their family. You cannot tell an abuser just by looking at them and looking at how often they go to church.
There are people in America who are treated differently based on whether they are poor or rich, black or white, belong to certain groups or not. When I meet with the homeless, they are treated FAR worse than other people.
Pointing out issues in an area also does not mean that all is bad. It means there can be improvement. The neighbor could have reported the abuse, the father got help, and the family healed. The father could have read the book, confessed his sins, and reconciled with his son. He refused due to pride. The third son could have stepped up to say, “I am not an eye witness for abuse, yet my dad did not treat me well either.”
It’s hard to walk in another person’s shoes. It’s an honor if God gives us the opportunity to do so.
2020 has pushed me even further away from cultural Chrisianity, yet deeper into Jesus. I do not fit in the religious/political crowd that cares little to nothing about the poor, and more about things than people. I do not fit into the grid that ignores suffering, while judging experiences that they do not have to live. I do not fit there. I do not belong there. While I love people, we are not on the same page.
I see Jesus out in the world meeting with people some church people have said, “I do not agree with that, so I want no part of ‘those’ people.” Well, Jesus came to the world that was totally out of alignment with God. They thought they were righteous. They were clueless and on their way to hell. Jesus called the religious/political crowd white washed tombs. They looked good on the outside; they were mess on the inside. What if He said, “I do not agree with ‘those’ people, I refuse to go hang on a cross for them.”
Jesus speaks to the Pharisees (Matthew 23: 23-28)
“Great sorrow awaits you religious scholars and Pharisees—frauds and pretenders! For you are obsessed with peripheral issues, like insisting on paying meticulous tithes on the smallest herbs that grow in your gardens. These matters are fine, yet you ignore the most important duty of all: to walk in the love of God, to display mercy to others, and to live with integrity. Readjust your values and place first things first. What blind guides! Nitpickers! You will spoon out a gnat from your drink, yet at the same time you’ve gulped down a camel without realizing it!
“Great sorrow awaits you religious scholars and Pharisees—frauds and imposters! You are like one who will only wipe clean the outside of a cup or bowl, leaving the inside filthy. You are foolish to ignore the greed and self-indulgence that live like germs within you. You are blind and deaf to your evil. Shouldn’t the one who cleans the outside also be concerned with cleaning the inside? You need to have more than clean dishes; you need clean hearts!
“Great sorrow awaits you religious scholars and Pharisees—frauds and imposters! You are nothing more than tombs painted with fresh coats of white paint—tombs that look shining and beautiful on the outside, but within are found decaying corpses full of nothing but corruption. Outwardly you masquerade as righteous people, but inside your hearts you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.
I do not know where I fit in the grand scheme of what people call Christianity. I do know I love Jesus and want to follow Him, not the crowd. Maybe I will tap into my Jewish roots (it’s part of my ethnic identity) and choose to identify as a Messianic Jew. All I know for sure at this moment is I love Jesus, Jesus is Lord, Jesus cares about the poor/hurting/marginalized/outcasts of society/justice, and I want to follow Him.
There were no mass riots/mass looting/mass protests before America had to watch George Floyd lynched on film.
I am against looting/destruction of property/uncalled for violence.
I am also not sure people see the series of events that got us here. 400 years of fighting for equal rights which benefited all people of color, not just African Americans and we still have some major problems. It was a “whites only” society for hundreds of years. I am stating history, not trying to blame a current generation for what was done.
Without many African American and non-African American people willing to risk their lives for equality, only whites of European ancestry would have access to great schools, freedom, drinking from the same water fountains, the right to vote for people of color and for women, jobs rights, access to the same facilities, and protection under the law from discrimination. Their sacrifices benefit the Latino community, immigrants not from Europe, Asian community, and other marginalized groups.
People thought the Civil Rights movement put an end to inequalty. It did not. Dr. Martin Luther King peacefully protested and was jailed 30 times, then murdered. Recently football players peacefully took a knee to protest police brutality. They were publically condemned and called thugs. People peacefully protested so many deaths that were ignored. People tried to raise their voices in civility to say, “There is a problem.” Many were ignored.
Dr. Martin Luther King taking a knee to pray.
Now that things are being filmed, cities are being burned and looted, people who are not African American are suddenly impacted, shaken by a reality that has been continual, and saying, “Hmmm, maybe there is a problem.” I am quoting the words of others who did not recognize an issue until now.
Even still there are people missing part of the root and catalyst. Sure there are opportunistic people across the color spectrum behaving in ungodly ways. There are far, far more peacefully stating, “Injustice is not okay, not on my watch!”
What gave looters/rioters the opportunity? Were they doing this in mass number prior to death of George, Breonna, Ahmed? No. Breonna was killed in her home. Ahmed was jogging down a public street. Neither were criminals.
People also forget 1 in 5 Americans are unemployed due to COVID19. We are suffering through a pandemic, economic downfall, and racial unrest. Even before race related tensions rose, people were breaking into cars in my neighborhood. I live in an extremely nice neighborhood. My sister’s friend was held at gun point and robbed at the grocery store for money, and groceries. People are hurting, and some are desperate. Does it make crime okay? No!!
I hope to God we see roots and stop trying to deal with just fruit. Why? Because I do NOT want a repeat of this.
Whether people agree with me or not, America’s failure to deal with certain issues thoroughly has created problems later. I will save tackling all the arguments on things people state the black community does wrong for a later post.
I will say media shows the worst, presents the ugliest stats, and often minimizes or hides the major contributions of people of color. The message that can be propagated is, “We love you as entertainers, athletes, musicians, but overall we do not view you as equal. If there is injustice against you, we may remain unmotivated to help or even at times believe you. You must have done something to cause this mistreatment or it’s a misunderstanding. If you peacefully protest injustice, this will be condemned too. America is great, the land of the free! Respect America even if America continually disrespects you.”
Across the world people are now protesting for George Floyd. Yet in America, there are still people who do not get it, or are focused more on the fruit of civil unrest rather than the root. Guess what happens when we refuse to dig up roots? The same fruit keeps popping up. The riots of the 1990s over the beating senseless of Rodney King did not teach America all the lessons needed.
We need to cease pretending we are not sick to be made whole!
I rarely hear sermons on racism unless someone has been murdered. Even then some pastors avoid talking about the sin of racism. People are reacting to George’s death because it was filmed. Normally it’s just, “Oh, another black man died. It must have been his fault. Black people are criminals.” The person becomes a hash tag for a season, and people move on with their lives.
Black people are painted as thieves and violent when some of the most heinous crimes in America have not been done by men of color. The extreme majority of mass shooters and serial killers have not been black men. When it comes to embezzling money and stealing millions from corporations, it has not been black men. If you look at the slavery era and post slavery, extreme violence, lynching, rape of black women, looting, burning down towns, these were crimes that were not prosecuted and committed not by black men. Yet the narrative is consistently “black men are violent and criminals.”
I believe the media is partially to blame for the way stories are told. If we do not tell the whole story, it creates blame shifting and bias. Are all white men mass murders, no. Are all black men criminals, no. Are all police unjust, no.
Across racial spectrums there are sinners. There are people who try to help humanity, and those who try to harm humanity. At the end of the day, we need God’s help. No group of people or person is perfect.
When we do not know history, it repeats itself. Read about the Tulsa Massacre and Rosewood Massacre. On false accusations of rape, entire black cities were looted, burned to the ground, and hundreds of black people killed on a false accusation. Some of the people alive today, were alive during the time of the Rosewood Massacre. If you demonstrate the way to get justice is to do certain things, understand where the model was set. It has only been 52 years since the assassination of Robert Kennedy and Dr. Martin Luther King. Peaceful protestors of injustice murdered before their time.
What about black on black crime? This always comes up when a black person is murdered and it was racially motivated.
I will say racism fuels self hatred. It is challenging to love people who look like you when you have seen and been told you are the problem, you are bad/violent, your life does not matter. When the images of you were/are often negative, it takes God or a strong will to rise above a system that was set up to keep you from succeeding or even loving yourself.
After the Native Americans, the main recipients of violence were slaves; lynched, murdered, beaten till their flesh came off, women raped, families broken, unable to go to school, unable to marry, unable to vote, refused jobs, towns burned down/looted once you got on your feet. Violence was the language of the slave master. So when people talk about black on black crime, violence was learned. Culture drives behavior. Want a different behavior, change the culture!!
I hate injustice against any people group. I also hate when people look at fruit and not the root. There is tons of judging, criticizing, finger pointing. I think if we want to heal, we must stop simply looking at fruit and look at roots. How do we heal hundreds of years of injustice? I included some steps below:
1. Listen. When people speak up and say, “There is a problem,” don’t dismiss it.
2. Ask God if there is any prejudice in our hearts. I have had “friends” who held some pretty racist beliefs. They slipped out in conversations or times like these. Racism is sin. Attitudes of superiority are sin. Apathy is also sin. Only God can fill us with love for our neighbors. God HATES pride and a sense of superiority (Proverbs 6:16-19).
3. Stop ignoring parts of history that are shameful.Many people did not know about the Tulsa Massacre because it was hidden for 75 years. Watch films like Hidden Figures, Selma, Just Mercy, the Netflix film 13th, Harriet, 12 Years a Slave, Glory.
4. Learn about the contributions of people of color to America. The stop light, refrigerated trucks, automatic elevator doors, electret microphone, light bulb filament, co invention of the color IBM PC monitor and gigahertz chip, laser cataract surgery, the super soaker, identifying explosives spot test, illusion transmitter, peanut butter, numerous medical patents, NASA space calculations (see the movie Hidden Figures) were done by African Americans. Despite severe oppression, there have been countless contributions.
5. If you feel called, get involved with organizations seeking to fight injustice. Racism is a humanitarian issue. People in Christianity shout, “I am pro-life!” Yet crickets are sometimes heard when you talk about injustice against people of color.
6. Shut down racist conversations and speak up! I unfriended some people online spewing divisive or racist propaganda. One lady had to let people know a black lady hit her car. Well, I have had 3 major car accidents where a white person totaled my car. I did not get online and say, “This white person did this to me.” I have not posted publicly online videos or stories that increase division or have not been fact checked. What we permit, we promote. If we see people who are causing more problems and we go along with it, we help promote that narrative.
I do not want a repeat of this year. I want real change. I desire equality and justice for all people.
I hate that people are being hurt, looted, brutalized, murdered. I also know part of how we got here was because racism has not a big deal until someone dies or a city is burning down. Sin got us here. The numerous cases of injustice ingnored, got us here. Before there was ever black on black violence there was hundreds of years of extreme, sadistic, and horrific violence and injustice against black people.
I have seen some of the best and worst of humanity this past week. I hope we turn to Jesus. I will say being out with protestors I have seen the most amazing acts of kindness. People are giving their hearts to Jesus. He cares WAY more about people than politics, being politically correct, appeasing the masses, and material possessions.
Photo: Circuit Riders (Baptism on the streets in Minneapolis)-Black Lives Matter protest.
Unfortunately we are feeling the reaping of what has been sown for hundreds of years. We can look for ways to stop the cycle!
I could not sleep last night so I started writing. Writing is often therapeutic. I hope this post encourages, inspires, and helps someone.
We rise as light bearers…
Pain and evil surround us. If we are not careful to guard our hearts, we can become reactionary rather than instruments of radical change. There are opportunities in adversity to rise to the occassion as a leader of positive change or to sink into an abyss of evil or an eye for eye. Oh, the eye for an eye; it eventually makes the whole world blind.
In the moment, pain can seem louder than reason. It can scream above the voice of God. It can pursue means that yield destruction. It can temporarily place band aids on broken bones. It can move swiftly to deal with fruit without examing the roots. Trusting God can slip by the wayside, drowned out by disappointment, hopelessness, or even despair. Self effort and self reliance can seek to overshadow God reliance. The heart can exclaim in fatigued cries-God can you hear me? Can you hear us? Crying out again and again. When will your justice reign supreme in our land?
I firmly believe He sees. God hears. God cares.
God is not screaming over the chaos. He is extending a hand, a whisper, an invitation to draw near. He understands more than anyone the pains humanity bears. His own Son was murdered without just cause, persecuted, betrayed, and abandoned. Jesus was an innocent man brutalized and hung on a cross. God does not look onward in pity. God enters into the deepest depths of human suffering. He weeps. God comes overflowing with compassion. God comes to heal the deep places inside that continue to bleed. He bottles the tears no one else sees.
It requires courage and dignity not to stoop to the level of those who have violently opposed you. It requires humility to yield to God and forgive even when people are not repentant nor remorseful. Forgiveness is not condoning evil. It is preventing evil from consuming our own soul. It is not forgiving an innocent person; it is forgiving a guilty person. It is releasing a guilty person to God. Faith in God involves a strong belief that the greatest justice is led from heaven’s throne.
We are the beloved of God…
To be the beloved of God is to hold one’s head high in dignity knowing you (we) are created in the image of God. It is choosing to yield to a Kingdom that is higher, a King far greater, and to abide in the one who is pure agape love. It is choosing to grieve with God, rather than run from God. It is choosing the high road, even though the low road seems far easier.
Let no man bring you so low as to hate him, or to return evil for his evil. For darkness is never extinguished by darkness, it can only be expelled by light.
May we abide in the light of God and shine.
As children of God, we fight with different weapons. We choose a higher way. We choose light over darkness, good over evil, and godly justice over ungodly paths of revenge. We abide in God and we rise. We rise again and again!! We shine like stars amidst the darkest night. We cannot be extinguished by adversity…We RISE!
Addition to this post this morning:
I truly believe this can be the church’s finest hour. We can rise in love, dignity, and defeat injustice God’s way. We can demonstrate to the world who God is.
It’s easy to turn a blind eye to things not personally impacting us or our community. Yet I do not believe that is the way of Christ. I told a friend yesterday that if we want to see better relationships with people of various ethnic backgrounds in the world, it must start in the church.
Sunday morning is still one of the most segregated times of the week. Conferences are still somewhat segregated. Jesus is still depicted as European when we know He was not. Racism, prejudice, and mistreatment of people not like us in ethnicity or another variable is still not addressed enough as sin. When the global church arises as diverse, united across manmade racial lines, then I believe we will see radical revival in the world. 🙂
You are so deeply loved! If you are hurting, please know I am praying and Jesus is praying for you.
God=Love 