Category: God’s Heart

London Book Fair & LA Times Book Fair

Leave a comment

Relationships 101: Foundational Wisdom for Better Relationships is a book that was a labor of love. As stated I was watching my father slowly decline while writing this book, and he passed away in June 2024. I’ve also endured sub par relationships with people hoping to reveal to them the love of God. I put up with mistreatment at times, connections with people who demonstrated they did not possess the same values, and I was known for giving far more than I received in connections with people. Relationships 101 not only provides insight from studying human behaviors and facilitating soul healing sessions with people, it is a journey through my own challenges with interpersonal relationships.

The good news from all of this is the book is receiving notable attention with publishers and agents. We were asked to participate in the London Book Fair and the Los Angeles Times Book Fair. I am in contract negotiations currently. I am thankful for the opportunity and for this book to reach the masses. If you have not picked up your copy, you can grab it here: https://a.co/d/bbxRSut. It has a 5 star rating and our editorial preview gave it a 10/10. People have stated it’s a must read!

What a journey!

I’ve been writing since I was a child. It’s been one of my dreams to share insight and hopefully wisdom with people through literary work. As I’ve grown into an adult, I became passionate about helping people heal from traumatic relationships and cultivate healthier ones. Relationships can elevate or derail our lives. We are not victims to toxic relationships or mediocre ones. We get to choose.

I truly believe one of my reasons for being alive is to speak to this area. A chunk of what I learned in communities of faith about relationships was based on the culture, not the actual teachings or lifestyle of Jesus. Therefore, I and others had sub par relationships and attributed it to God teaching us how to love. Suffering in relationships became the goal, not thriving in them. I heard people teach that the goal of marriage was to make you holy, and the bible says no such thing. The bible states it is the role of the Holy Spirit to make you and I holy. I’ve watched people I deeply care for suffer through divorce or abuse in relationships. We can have better!! God longs to give us better relationships.

I hope this book assists people with having a healthier view of themselves, a healthier view of relationships, and it helps to mitigate marrying/dating/befriending the wrong people. I hope women especially are helped to bypass settling for less than what God would give them. God does not give bad gifts. I sincerely believe it is not God’s objective that we suffer in every relationship. Suffering is a byproduct of sin. There is no sin in God, nor in heaven.

If you’re in London (UK) or LA (USA), you may see me in the months to come. If there is a book signing, please stop by and say hello. I would love to greet you in person. Thank you for your support of this blog over the years! You are appreciated. I plan to carve out more time this year to blog.

If you’d like to stay up to speed with what’s happening with new books, products, programs, please join us on https://www.empowered-free.com/. The link provided is my business website.

What else is upcoming?

I am launching an online wellness community for girls and women Feb 1 entitled “Healthy, Wealthy, Confident & Free!” There are 7 pillars of focus and they are as follows: healthy mindset, get wisdom, nourish the body, emotional healing, confidence, healthy relationships, and building wealth. We will meet monthly for 7 months-1rst Saturdays of the month. Also included in the program will be monthly focus workbooks, exclusive membership to a private Facebook community, and recordings of sessions. You may sign up here: https://www.empowered-free.com/product-page/healthy-wealthy-confident-free-program.

I hope you either join us in the wellness community or pick up Relationships 101 on Amazon.com (https://a.co/d/jdq3i96https://a.co/d/iCP111t).

Once again thank you and God bless you! God bless you, keep you, and his face shine brilliantly upon you.

Love,

Erin Lamb

Understanding Mutual Love in Relationships

Leave a comment

Photo: Erin Lamb Author 2024

If you’re like me, you were taught to love other people-even at the expense of yourself. Love was modeled in a sacrificial way; it was viewed as selfish to desire anything in return. We were taught to be the “givers” in relationships. No one taught me directly that God desired mutuality in my relationships with other people or at church. The more you offered of yourself, the more people clapped. God was to meet your needs while you were meeting the needs of others. One day it dawned on me, “If I am to get all my needs met by God, why can’t these other people do the same?”

I’ve encountered a number of women in my lifetime who view themselves as “the help” or “the helper.” People read Genesis and tell women they are the “helper” to man. From the translation of the Bible into English until today, women have been considered “the help.” Actually, it began the moment Adam sinned. God warned Eve that Adam would seek to rule over her (because of sin) and she would seek to please him (because of sin). It was not God’s original design. Nor did God name Eve “the helper.” He called her ezer kenegdo. Which has a far more meaningful and powerful definition.

Ezer kenegdo: [Genesis 2:18 can be translated as “I will make a power [or strength] corresponding to man.”…What God had intended, then, was to make a “power” or “strength” for the man who would in every way “correspond to him” or even “be his equal.””]-God’s Word to Women.

I’ve worked with countless women in relationships with men who treat them as their subordinate or they use weaponized incompetence (they pretend they are unable to do certain tasks so their wives are overwhelmed with household tasks or caring for their kids). Mistreating women, treating them as inferior is seen as “normal” or “God’s idea,” when it’s not. The mistreatment of any human being can be tied back to sin. Selfishness is sin. Sexism is sin. Treating people like they are our slaves is not love. God is love.

I love that Jesus told his disciples to not be like the leaders in the world who seek to rule over others, that the greatest among them would be a servant. Jesus encouraged MUTUAL love, MUTUAL respect, and agape love (unselfish, sacrificial love). The intention was not that in all our relationships we would behave and love like Jesus while everyone else gets to be Judas. Jesus had genuine friendships: Mary, Martha, John and several women supported his ministry financially. He loved the entire world, yet only a few demonstrated that love in return.

I had to learn from God that the desire of His heart was not for me to have more people similar to Judas and Saul sitting around my table. He actually desired there would be people who value me the person, not how I can mentor them for free, invest in their lives with zero reciprocation, give while they consume, or to be in cycles of mistreatment. I had to learn that love without wisdom can be likened to foolishness. I endured relationships with people who should have only been ministry opportunities, not friendships. People violated my trust, heart, time, investments in them, and then could easily skip off into the sunset. Some left quietly, while some insulted me on the way out the door.

I had to make a choice to keep enduring those types of relationships, or to step away from tables where I was either starving to death or being poisoned. It does not mean all those people were bad human beings. It means they were not and are not the right people for me. I made the decision that I desired God’s best in relationships. I continued to do ministry, and separated people I serve in a ministry capacity from my friends.

I changed. I had to change. I did not desire to get to the end of my life and not experience the best God had to offer. I was also tired of wishy washy, fair weather friends, people who only showed up for their needs/prayer, and when it was convenient for them. I wanted better. I desired better. I wanted to experience genuine God love in numerous relationships before I died. I also no longer wanted to waste the gifts or time God gave me on people who would not value what was given to them.

What has been the outcome? I have people in my life now or those who remained who show up simply to bless me. People who reach out to say, “How are you? What can I do for you? How can I pray for you?” I’ve been invited to beautiful luncheons, given free suite/box seats at sports events, promoted numerous times at my newest job, and my office has an entire section with cards from people with kind notes. I am valued. I am loved. I am appreciated. I am not “the help.” I don’t have to beg for respect, love, attention, affection, or support. It’s freely given. More doors of opportunity have opened. My health has improved. The warfare in my life has lessened. I have zero relational drama. I have fun! I feel a level of safety in the connections around me. I do not believe they are smiling in my face while discussing me negatively behind closed doors. I am not traumatized or in cycles of being mistreated and them asking for forgiveness. They know how to steward my heart.

If you genuinely love people, trust God desires to place people in your life who KNOW how to love you. Trust that God desires His best for you, not just for you to be the best for everyone else. God is good. I had to learn that God did not orchestrate every relationship I had-even with professing Christians. Some of the Christians I’ve encountered in my lifetime have treated me the worst. Then they show up years later with a sad apology. Are they forgiven? Yes! Do I desire them back in my life. NO! I’d prefer to be set on fire or run over by a bus 50 times. There are people we are called to pray for, forgive, and then MOVE ON!

I hope you pick up Relationships 101: Foundational Wisdom for Better Relationships. I put my heart and soul into this book. My two favorite chapters right now are “Get Wisdom,” and “A Healthy Relationship Starts with You.” We can have better. We can have genuine love. We can have thriving friendships. We can experience God love through another person. The first step is to receive God’s love for ourselves. The second is to stop settling for less than God’s best! I’ve yet to meet anyone grateful they settled in life. You don’t have to settle.

If you don’t know how to treat people, the book provides tools for you too.

Get your copy of Relationships 101 today: https://a.co/d/6XFZvyj

Love,

Erin Lamb

Founder & CEO of Lamb Enterprises LLC

Relationships 101 Book Release

Leave a comment

This book has been a labor of love. Mainly because it contains stories from my own relationships and journey, as well as some from soul health clients. I cannot think of anything that can negatively or positively impact a life more than relationships. I believe we were created to have thriving relationships, yet it can be the most stressful parts of a person’s life. I had to learn some lessons the hard way and I call those wisdom bumps. You don’t need to learn everything via suffering. You can learn from my experiences and those of my clients.

Several of my favorite chapters are, “A Healthy Relationship Starts with You,” “Stop Talking to Snakes,” “Are You Watering Dead Plants,” and “Where is He Leading You.” I have an entire section devoted to the interesting characters. It focuses on the “God told me,” people and narcissists. It covers the breadcrumbers (the people who do just enough to keep you connected, yet they invest nothing substantial in you). There is a section on green flags and how to spot a healthy relationship. I put my heart and soul into this book. It covers family, work, friendship, dating, and marriage.

I’ve worked with countless couples in soul healing to see their marriages restored. All but 1 reconciled. The one couple that did not reconcile was because he preferred to be with men. I believe numerous relationships can be restored. Those that cannot, we can learn from them.

I learned I was an overinvestor. I desired to love people the way God loves me and in the end it left me with major deficits in my life. I invested in people while receiving little to nothing in return. I am worth more than that. I also forgave people over and over who mistreated me, yet they were not repentant nor of high quality. I accepted less than what I wanted in relationships. I was a blessing to people who were not a blessing in return. It sounds noble to be selfless, yet I will tell you confidently that God desires more for you!

There is a chapter called Pivot and I had to pivot. I changed. I removed some connections, changed my phone number, stopped being the initiator, ceased giving people countless chances to use/abuse me, and I stopped settling (there is an entire chapter devoted to settling). It’s vital we know what we want, know our own value/worth, and we stop settling for less!

The eBook was released last week and the paperback will be available within the next week. I hope you grab a copy and share with friends.

Link to pick up the eBook: https://a.co/d/5Mryfc4

With Kind Regards,

Erin Lamb

Founder & CEO of Lamb Enterprises LLC and Operation God is Love

Hospital or Hospice

Leave a comment

I love Yeshua. I love the person of Jesus and all He represents. I have been challenged over the course of my life by what people call “Christianity” vs. what I read in the Bible regarding the ministry of Jesus, the operations of the early church, and the guidance provided to followers of Jesus on how to behave. My heart is not to judge other Christians, nor the church. The assessment of who belongs to Jesus vs. who is going through the motions is not my job. I am not the Holy Spirit. What I will say is there is a great turning away from the organized religion of Christianity because many people are struggling to encounter Jesus within the culture.

I have heard people over the years judge people who leave churches with various statements and I desire to address some of those.

  1. “You still go to work if your boss or your colleagues mistreat you, so you need to come to church regardless of how people treat you here.” What’s wrong with this statement? Well, work is where they pay you to show up and perform. You are free to find another job if your employer treats you poorly. If it’s not a safe place, you have means to address these issues such as Human Resources, OSHA, or agencies dedicated to fair business practices. Your employer is in a contract with you to perform certain services for you while you serve their business. I doubt many people would show up to work if they were not paid to do so. No one pays you to go to church. You give the church money! You serve for free at the church (unless you are on staff) and often little appreciation if you are a volunteer. You are told you are doing this for God and to fulfill his mandate to you. Yet, the church is not to be held accountable to God’s guidance for leadership or how people are to be treated. The church, ministers, lay members are to be given grace/mercy/forgiveness and little to no accountability. There are ways to legally hold employers liable for abuse. So, yes people will go to work over going to church if there is a abuse. People can meet with God in their homes and forgo being mishandled by Christians in a building. Instead of anger over people staying home, ask why they don’t want to come.
  2. “This generation simply hates God and tradition.” What’s wrong with this statement? Well, I interact with the “younger generations” and those who are jaded by church. 99.9% of them I have encountered do not hate God or the Biblical representation of Jesus. They hate the hypocrisy of the church. They hate the turning a blind eye to racism, sexism, bigotry, and the obsession with a certain political party. I will say it here even if I lose followers-the obsession church people have over presidential nominee Trump led millions of people out of the church. I know it it cleared out a good number of my relationships. Why? Because there are countless Christians who said, “God chose this for us! No matter what Trump says or does (even if it grossly misrepresents Jesus) we will stand by him. We are willing to ditch our friends, the teachings of Jesus, our family, and anything or anyone not in agreement with him.” Millions of people left the church. And when I have spoken to supporters of this movement, they do not seem to care. I promise Jesus cares. Additionally, some of what Christians call the “traditions of God” are nothing more than the traditions of the religious. It’s void of the actual heart and teachings of Jesus. There is no ambiguity in who Jesus is nor what he stood for. Our “traditions” are not more important than the work of the Holy Spirit in people’s lives. Jesus offended the religious of his day and their traditions. He called them blind guides. They led people into religious bondage. I’ve found people desire authentic Jesus of Nazareth, not the religion of the church.
  3. “You can’t say anything negative about God’s church because he will defend his bride.” Well, if you read the New Testament there are letters to the churches of CORRECTION. Say what? Though people love to pick and choose what parts of Apostle Paul’s letters they pay attention to-he sent letters of correction and rebukes to Christians and churches. “Who has bewitched you? Are you are servant of Paul or of Christ?” I’ve read the Bible from cover to cover numerous times. God corrects his own people. He sent prophets in the Old Testament and apostles in the New Testament times. God does not give the church a pass to do whatever they want with zero accountability. It is because of God’s love that we are offered correction. “God disciplines those he calls a child,” (Hebrews 12:6).
  4. “Church is just a hospital for sick people, do not expect people to treat you right here.” This is my least favorite of them all. I would like for people to stop saying this. Hospitals are places where the sick go with the intention of recovery. Nurses and doctors work to assist people with getting BETTER! You are supposed to get better. If the people at our churches come evil (sick) and leave behaving like the devil (sick), then it’s not a hospital-it’s HOSPICE. Hospice is the place where people go sick, they stay sick until they die. Churches are not hospitals nor should they be hospice. The ministry of Jesus radically transformed people’s lives. They left him either offended or better. The church is intended to be a place where people GROW UP! Where they spiritually, emotionally, and mentally grow up. It is supposed to be a place where people become more like Christ in their heart and behaviors. I want people to stop using this excuse and examine why there are toxic behaving people in our churches who are offered no accountability or mentoring.

I truly believe when God said, “Be imitators of Christ,” he meant it (see Ephesians 5:1). Christians are supposed to behavior better than the non believing! Our character is supposed to better. We are supposed to be more loving, honest, faithful, and compassionate. The people who do not know God calling the church to a higher standard is righteous. Jesus stated we would recognize his genuine disciples by their unselfish love (agape love).

Blaming people we mistreat for not desiring connection with the church or Christians is futile. Most are not running from God. They are running from people who claim to know God and behave nothing like Jesus. They are disinterested in being used, abused, mistreated, ghosted, gas lit, abandoned for no legit reason, experiencing apathy, and a genuine lack of God love. Expecting people to subject themselves to mismanagement of their heart, time, or resources is unjust. I believe there is an issue within Christian communities of entitlement (people owe me relationship/friendship or access while I provide nothing good in return) and a deep lack of abiding in God love.

I have been mishandled by countless Christians. Do I forgive them? Yes. Do I pray for them? Yes. Do I want to continue to engage in close connection with them? NO! I do not. Why? Because my time on earth is limited and I need to complete what God sent me here to do. I allowed way too many Christians to waste my time. What they need is therapy, counseling to deal with their bad relationship habits, to accept responsibility for their poor stewardship of people, and some may need an exorcism. I am not joking. I grew tired of being mishandled so I ceased initiating with people who did not reciprocate goodness. It’s unwise to keep pouring into people, opportunities, or organizations where you are not valued. Please don’t believe the lie I was taught that if I gave my all to Christians God would replenish me. It kept me trapped in cycles of unnecessary trauma, drama, and it was a distraction. God re-planted me with people who value who I am and what I offer. I am currently surrounded by people who mutually invest, they initiate goodness, and I don’t have to do all the work. God cares how we treat people and how they treat us! People need to choose to work on themselves.

How do we move into loving like God? We must know God’s love for ourselves. I hope there is a breaking away from the false teaching of “Love God, love your neighbor, and love yourself last.” I think it has crippled countless Christians. The Bible is clear we are to love our neighbor AS we love ourselves. The God centered pathway of love is as follows: Receive love from God, love God and yourself, then go love your neighbor AS you love yourself. Too many people are attempting to love people from their own well and it’s empty. A bankrupt person has nothing to offer you! If I do not love myself, I cannot love you or anyone else.

Religion and our religious traditions do not make us more Christlike. Relationship with Jesus of Nazareth and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit transforms us from the inside out.

How to treat people better:

a. Ditch entitlement. People don’t owe us relationship, access, connection, ministry, forgiveness, love, friendship, service to our church or ministry. These things are gifts. If improperly stewarded, you may lose a connection/relationship. The grass grows where you water it! Be grateful if someone is good to you.

b. Do not ask of people what you would not be willing to do! Please stop this. If you are not willing to give up your vacation to go serve someone, don’t ask them to do it. Yes, this has happened to me. People call me on vacation with their prayer needs or expect me to give up vacay to see them. They have a pastor, call them.

c. Show up as an investor instead of a consumer. Reciprocate. You serve instead of desiring everyone else serve you. Reach out when you don’t need prayer, help, support, or you’re bored or lonely.

d. Your politics are not more important than Jesus. I don’t care who you vote for, simply cease adding Jesus’ name onto your party or person of preference.

e. Work on you. Deal with soul wounds and bad habits. If you mistreat people, ask for forgiveness. Don’t just show up years later as though you have done nothing wrong. Be accountable for your choices and treatment of people.

This is a long post, yet I hope it helps someone!

Love,

Erin

Two Types of “Christians”

2 Comments

One of the lies I was told as a child was that America was founded on Christianity and a Christian Nation. How can I call this a lie? I can call it a deception due to the study of what “Christian”means to God and was Jesus stated would mark the life of His disciples. Christian is supposed to mean-imitator of the Christ, Jesus of Nazareth. What America was founded upon does not mirror the heart, spirit, or nature of Jesus of Nazareth. Jesus stated you would know His disciples by their agape love-unselfish/sacrificial love. He stated you would know a tree by the fruit it bears. Meaning you will know the heart of a person and their character by their actions.

America was founded on stealing land from Indigenous persons and Mexicans in the west. Genocide occured here so that white men could establish their “kingdom.” There was brutality that occurred, murder, displacing of human beings who were not considered “white.” Research the Trail of Tears and Indian Boarding Schools (includes Canada’s history). Indigenous children were stripped from their families and many sexually assaulted. Aside from murdering, stealing from, raping, molesting children, and forced bondage on Indigenous persons…America participated in the human trafficking of African people. For over 400 years the United States of America brutalized, exploited, raped, and murdered black people. They built wealth off of free labor and even set up breeding farms to force black women into having countless children for free labor. Even after much revolt and a Civil War, America moved into Jim Crow. Setting up unjust systems to keep black persons from advancing in society. I have not even touched on the treatment of the Chinese and the rail roads and the interference in other countries affairs that led them into poverty.

None of these actions imitate Jesus of Nazareth. They were part of an empire called “white supremacy.” There is a form of Christianity that has nothing to do with Jesus other than putting forth a false image of piety while living opposite of the teachings of Jesus. It’s anti-Christ (in place of Christ). People bow before it, and worship a false blond haired and blue eyed Jesus who never existed. People pledge their allegiance to an idol that has nothing to do with Jesus. People scream they are Patriots of a system that has oppressed and murdered millions of people. It’s not Jesus of Nazareth.

The founding fathers of America, when they spoke of religious freedom, political freedom, and life/liberty/justice for all. They were speaking about those rights existing for white men only. They were not interested in equal rights for women, Indigenous persons (whose land they stole), black/African people, or anyone who do not belong to their “white male group.” That is not the character of Jesus. Jesus was not European. He was not a white man. He would have been considered an immigrant. The same “God” people think America was founded upon would not have had rights in America. He would have been treated horribly.

Hanging the ten commandments in our buildings and praying in school is meaningless if those same people go out and murder black people for sport, deny other humans their rights to choose, and it involves oppressing people to maintain power. It is what Jesus said to the Pharisees, “Outwardly you are pious, yet inside you are depraved. You are white washed tombs. You are blind guides and children of the devil.”

I have encountered two types of “Christians” in my lifetime. There are those fully devoted to Jesus and they seek to do the will of God. Then there are those who are in love with their religion/church/denomination/political party/ the power they can hold over people by using God’s name in vain. They do not bear the fruit (character) of Jesus. They can be brutal, controlling, manipulative, and the desire is to force people into their belief system rather than to live a life of a good witness. They are the poster children for hypocrisy. They speak of God they do not imitate.

Stating someone or something is a Christian does not mean it belongs to Jesus nor that it’s imitating Jesus. Jesus did not steal, murder, rape, commit genocide, promote violence of those deemed other. Jesus was not a white supremacist. Jesus did not bully people into compliance. Jesus did not use politics to force people into His way of life. Jesus did not oppress women. Jesus was not racist. Jesus was not abusive nor oppressive. Jesus was a thorn in the flesh of the politicized religious of His day. He called them out as belonging to the evil one and not His father.

My prayer is not that America turns back to who she was in former seasons. My prayer is America turns to Jesus for the first time. I pray America repents of her sins and knows Jesus for the first time. My prayer is people seek Jesus, know the real Jesus of Nazareth, and this country has a genuine revival that leads people to Jesus-not America’s version of Christianity.

The greatest commandment was and is to love God and then to love our neighbor as ourselves. I will say I have met an abundance of Christians who have religion and they are void of the love of Jesus. They are more into their political ideology and worship of America than they are obeying Jesus of Nazareth. I say this strongly and it’s written in the word of God, “No idolater has a place in the Kingom of Heaven,” those who love America, their political party, their church, their pastor or Pope more than God shall not inherit the Kingdom of God. Jesus stated, “If you love your mother or father or sister of brother more than me, you are not worthy to be my disciple.”

My encouragement is seek, know, and follow Jesus!

Erin

Relationships 101 Book Coming…

Leave a comment

Looking back over my life, I’ve made decisions to love people far more than they’ve loved or demonstrated to me. This sacrificial, never demanding reciprocation type, love was applauded by Christians around me. What I learned was (overall) there were not as many people looking out for my best interests on a consistent basis, nor my well-being, my mental/emotional health, or even what I desired out of relationships.

The guidance was, “If you do all these sacrificial things for the church, community, or other people…God will take care of you. God will meet all your needs. Therefore, you should be proud that you invest so much of your self in others while expecting nothing in return.”

It sounds so lovely! Part is true; another part forsakes wisdom.

Love is not selfish. Love pursues the highest good for others. Love does what is honoring. The part that is missing is God is not requiring us to be friends with, date, or marry people who are consumers in our lives. The “God is so proud of you, yet ask nothing of me in return,” is a way for people to make sure they or their church/ministry are benefited with little to no requirements to do anything in return. The lie told is that “you are doing this for God so it’s what God wants for you.”

I have learned throughout my life plenty of people put God’s name on what benefits their best interests and desires. God desires you serve until you’re burned out, instead of God provides you with a brain and wisdom. Therefore, examine what is reasonable and do not over extend yourself. God desires you give as much money as you can to the church and God will repay you. Truth is that church or ministry desires your funds and only if you give with the right motives will it be credited to you. You are not to give under compulsion.

The truth is as follows: God actually desires that we are in healthy, reciprocal relationships that are life giving. God desires we are loved in return. In a friendship, dating, or marriage there should be some reciprocation, mutual investment, mutual respect and care.

There is a difference between ministry, charity, and a friendship. Ministry and charity involve serving in many capacities without receiving anything in return. A relationship is a partnership of two people who mutually invest, support, and give love. It’s not intended to be persistent one sidedness in dating, friendship, or marriage. Yes, there may be a season or seasons where people cannot reciprocate; they are sick, deployed somewhere else, or they cannot invest any time/love/support. It is abnormal to be connected in relationships with people who do nothing but receive (unless it is a baby/child).

What about God? Does He give to us expecting nothing in return. People say “God expects nothing.” In relationship with God, God asks for faithfulness, faith, love, loyalty, that we listen to sound guidance, to go through His Son, and for our entire lives. God loves everyone! God is NOT in a relationship with everyone. Jesus ministered to many people with deep love who never chose Him. They never reciprocated love. They never turned towards Him. And while people will tell you that those people are in a relationship with Jesus, God does not force connection. Jesus said, “whoever desires to be my disciple must deny themselves, pick up their cross and follow me.” Meaning, “I am requiring something of you to be in relationship with me.”

Though people say you cannot waste time, any love you give cannot and is not wasted, I disagree. I do believe if we love with pure intentions there is reward from God. I also believe we can waste our own time by dating the wrong people, befriending the wrong people, and marrying the wrong person. I have had copious client’s suffering through horrible relationships; they are stressed, burned out, and depressed.

I do not believe God ordains all these tumultuous relationships to teach people something or break them down so far they cry out for help. I think humans, myself included, choose people or allow people to choose us who are not for our greatest good. Once in the relationship there is a desire for God to bless it. Yes, there is one known relationship I’ve read of in the Bible where God encouraged a prophet to marry someone we would not consider marriage material. I don’t believe God is ordaining every dysfunctional relationship.

I hope my next book, Relationships 101, helps people to forgo wasting their time, energy, gifts, heart with people who will not properly steward those things. The plan is to launch the book later this year!

God wants the best, not sub par relationships for you!

Warmly,

Erin Lamb

The King’s Daughter

Leave a comment

Parable: The King’s Daughter

The King sent his daughter into neighboring countries for diplomatic service. She was not adorned in royal garb. She blended into the crowds. She was there to serve and bless the town’s people. They soon recognized her generosity and made plans for exploitation. They could get their needs met without offering much or anything in return. They offered her what had the least or no value in exchange for her best offers.

They mocked her in private, and some to her face. They gossiped, and tried to sully her reputation. Obviously she was either stupid, weak, or had an ulterior motive. They worked against her efforts to help their poorest citizens. They needed the poor to feel good about themselves, “At least we are not like those people.” Some helped and were generous too. Many were offended by the expressions of kindness.

The daughter of the king kept showing up to serve, give, love. Even when those offerings from her father’s table were trampled under foot.

One day the king appeared and found his daughter. “Come with me,” he said. “I have other countries that desperately need what we have to offer. You do not need to to stay where the gifts are unwanted. Pack your things. We will leave today. I did not send you here for exploitation.”

The daughter packed her things and departed with her father. Though the town’s people did not value what was given to them, they were full of rage that the king’s daughter departed. How dare she. She owed them. They were entitled to receive from the king’s table.

They demanded she return. She did not. She and the king took their gifts, generosity, and blessings to other countries. The people in other countries were open to the king’s decrees. They rejoiced that the king chose their town to be recipients of his goodness.

The king’s daughter flourished in her new assignments. She made new alliances and assisted the king in building an empire focused on loving people. The daughter learned a valuable lesson; do not waste your gifts on those who do not appreciate them.

Warmly,

Erin L Lamb

When You Change the Access to You-Everything Changes

Leave a comment

"Not everyone deserves that much access to you". My sweet sweet ...

I am breaking from the myths about God to discuss relationships. There is a well known quote that reads, “Show me your friends, and I will show you your future.”

Recently I was listening to an apostle/pastor from Africa and he said something that stuck with me. He said, “If you have loads of people around you, you may feel popular. It does not mean you are popular. It means you are careless. You do not place enough value on who you are and therefore, you provide everyone access to you.”

I have lived this careless life. I wanted to desperately love people and share with them all that God was to me. I desired God love through me for other people to encounter His great love.

It sounds beautiful, doesn’t it? To love the world the way God loves us. It’s certainly biblical. Yeshua stated, “Go love your neighbors and love your enemies. Go into all the world and tell them who I am. God show them who I am. Go and be an example of my light and love to the world. They will know my true followers by their love.” Ah, the eloquent and lovely words of Jesus.

These words, if they are not coupled with wisdom and discernment, have the capability to destroy your life. The same bible that tells you to love your neighbor as your self also proclaims that “a companion of fools suffers harm” and “how can two be joined together unless they agree.” Wisdom and love are not separated with God. There were people Jesus avoided until His appointed time because He knew they desired to kill Him. There were times that He separated Himself from the crowds and the people who clamored for space next to Him. He was loving, purposeful, and wise.

I have spent years of my life forsaking wisdom with my attempts to love. I simply showered love on people. I gave people access to my home in bible studies. Some destroyed my carpet, some broke my heart, some betrayed me, and some gossiped. People will tell you that what you are doing is for the glory of God so it does not matter if people destroy you or your things. If they harm you, God will heal and restore you. Here is the part people leave out. God DOES NOT desire you are destroyed in the process of loving people AND you get to decide the level of access people have to you.

There is the popular minister, who’s name I won’t say here, that I befriended on Facebook. After a week or so, he realized he did not know me. He accepted my friend request because we had mutual friends in common. You know what he did? He unfriended me. He did not have a conversation with me. He did not ask about my feelings. He simply deleted my access to his personal FB page. He had the right to do that, as I am not his real friend.

I, in my unwise attempts to love people, have given people way more access to my life, time, resources, gifts, talents, intercessory covering, friendship, etc…than they demonstrated they could steward well. In return it was not met with some horrible situations. Why might you suppose? Because when you give too much of yourself to other people without limits, you teach them not to value you. People value what is scarce, expensive, just a bit out of their reach.

People disrespect what is common, too available, too generous, and abundance. I say this with the caveat that there are people who appreciate and value what is abundant in their lives. It’s not the normal, sinful nature of mankind to value what is abundant. Look what humans have done to the environment, other humans, and the earth. They have exploited it and other humans.

What is my point? It is unwise to provide everyone access. It unwise to forsake healthy boundaries and limits. It is unwise to provide abundance for people without wisdom. It is wise to have criteria for who has access to your life, information about your life, and who you partner with in ministry or anything else.

Every person and everything you say yes to is a no to something else. Are you wasting your life on people who are not tied to your purpose or destiny? I wasted years of my life fighting battles with people that were absolutely unnecessary. They are long gone. They ditched me and moved on with their lives. They left behind messes they did not clean up because of course that’s “God’s job.” One of the greatest relational lies I have witnessed in western Christianity is, “If you are the martyr in relationships and you are harmed, God is delighted and will fix you right up.” It can take years of soul healing to recover from one bad relationship. I believe God desires we exercise wisdom with who has access to our lives.

My life is rapidly changing because the wide nets I cast to ensure everyone was loved, included, cared for…has shifted to, “Is it wise for me to invest here? Is the Spirit of God calling me to invest in this person or thing, or am I in a mindset of over giving and forsaking wisdom.”

It is not true that setting limits with people means you don’t love them. It is not true that boundaries make you evil and uncaring. What it means is you value yourself. What it means is you value the destiny God placed inside you and it is important to you. What is means is you value your life and desire to make the most of your life. It means you love yourself. God actually desires that you love yourself.

You don’t owe everyone access. Trust is earned. Friendship is a gift, not a privilege. The ability to know what is going on in your heart, life, family, and business is not for everyone. Your story is not up for grabs by everyone. You control how much of yourself, your time, and your life you give to other people. God expects that you and I to guard our hearts. We are expected to guard the access to the most precious parts of ourselves. Don’t look to others to do it for you.

Lastly examine who you have given access to your life. Are they adding any value? Or are they simply taking up time and space? If you look at the 5 people you spend most of your time with, do you desire to be like them. Are you inspired or tired? Are you growing or fighting off unnecessary drama? Are you moving closer to becoming who God created you to be or are you perpetually distracted?

I hope you stay tuned in to posts. They are leading up to the fourth book-Relationships 101. I have learned quite a bit over the years and hope something shared is helpful and blesses you.

Warm Regards,

Erin Lamb

Author & CEO of Lamb Enterprises LLC

Empowered-Free.com

Myths About God-God Does Not Care About Your Tears

2 Comments

Image Source: HelpForIsrael.org

Maybe you have heard someone say to you that God does not care about your tears, He’s only concerned with your faith. I heard that growing up and it did something to my view of God. I believed all I needed to do was muster up enough faith and God would be so proud of me. If I was sad, hurt, damaged, or needed to cry-God was unconcerned. He was shouting from His throne, “Pick yourself up by your bootstraps and forge on in faith. Your feelings are meaningless to me. All I care about is you believe what I say.” God was impersonal and cold. God was unconcerned and task driven. God cared about my performance and not my heart.

Guess what? Believing a lie about God damages the way we view God and blocks intimacy with God. My response when hurting was to remove God from my emotions and handle them by myself. I also learned to bury sadness and live numb. I ran across Christians similar to myself who were shamed for crying, shamed for feeling anything but powerful, made to feel inferior because their faith did not change all their feelings. Instead of running to God, there was a wall erected. Their humanity is reduced to acts of religious duty, pretending to have it all together, throwing scripture on every problem.

You’ve kept track of all my wandering and my weeping. You’ve stored my many tears in your bottle—not one will be lost. For they are all recorded in your book of remembrance.-Psalm 56:8 (TPT).

The Lord is close to all whose hearts are crushed by pain, and he is always ready to restore the repentant one,-Psalm 34:18 (TPT).

He will swallow up death forever; and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces, and the reproach of his people he will take away from all the earth, for the Lord has spoken.-Isaiah 25:8 (ESV)

“Go and say to Hezekiah, Thus says the Lord, the God of David your father: I have heard your prayer; I have seen your tears. Behold, I will add fifteen years to your life.”-God (Isaiah 38:5)-ESV.

When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled.-John 11:33.

Jesus wept.-John 11:35.

Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.-1 Peter 5:7 (ESV).

There are plenty of scriptures where God responded to the hurting and promised that those who go forth in weeping, would come back with joy. He promised to wipe the tears from our faces. He promised to be close to the brokenhearted. God is not cold. God is not off put by emotions.

God cares about your feelings and my feelings. God also cares about faith. I believe it’s an act of faith to run to God instead of away from Him in times of pain. It requires faith to allow God into the pain versus trying to do it oneself. To turn to God when we are hurting, when we don’t understand, and in grief, is a sign of trust.

I want people to run to God and cry it out if necessary. It does not make you weak or faithless. Jesus had perfect faith and shed tears. I honestly hope one day the traditions of misrepresenting God fall by the wayside and people encounter God as is, not as humans have presented God to be.

God cares about you.

God cares about what damages your heart, mind, body, and emotions.

God is close to the brokenhearted and cares about every detail of your life.

My encouragement is run to God with what hurts you and trust that God cares. My other encouragement is do not ignore your emotions. Emotions are indicators. Process them. Tend to them. Forgo stuffing them. Throwing scriptures at them may not remove them. It may require sitting with God and/or someone training in soul health to process through the pain.

I have spent the past 8 years helping people with soul wounds process their pain. Every time God is invited to help them, God responds. There is more kindness in God than there is in humans. There is more compassion in God than in humans. God is far better at caring about people than we are. Sadly the religious and humans who claim to know God have grossly misrepresented Him.

Seek God and know that you are loved.

Warmly,

Erin

Myths About God-Suffering & Pain

1 Comment

One of the myths I have seen passed around about God, mostly from evangelical Christians is if you have enough faith you will never get sick, never suffer, never endure anything painful. Faith becomes this buffer to bypass the impact of sin on this world. I have witnessed evangelical Christians use faith as a crutch or billy club or some elitist badge of pride. “Look at my life and how blessed I am, I certainly have more faith than you.”

I have seen people who believe in this “faith prevents all pain and suffering” as a tool to condemn those hurting or sick, “Well, you must not have enough faith or you must have sinned.” I have also sadly witnessed people who are deathly ill die because they refused any medical care, mental or emotional care. Their faith in God was supposed to do all the work and if God did not heal, they would rather die.

I am not telling you to not believe God, nor to forgo praying for miracles. I am a huge proponent of praying for the sick and have seen God move mountains for people where doctors had lost all hope. I spent years working at the free clinic and my team saw amazing things that transcended my logical understanding. I have seen God raise the dead, open deaf ears, cause the lame to walk, open closed wombs, heal cancer, shrink and dissolve tumors, completely change the life of someone. I believe in healing. I believe God loves wholeness, health, and for us to live abundant lives.

The point I want to address today is this myth that walking with God prevents us from all pain, suffering, hurt, loss, grief, or even pain in the body. People who believe that it does, I question if they have read the full counsel of scripture. Jesus plainly stated that in the world there would be trouble, yet take heart because He has overcome the world. Jesus was beaten and his flesh ripped from His body (that was an injury). They pierced Him, beat Him, whipped Him, mocked Him, and hurt Him physically. Jesus had and has perfect faith. If the one who is perfect in faith was not shielded from all suffering and pain, why do we think we would be? Not only Jesus, read about all the apostles and early Christians who were martyred for their faith in Christ. We have Christians all over Asia and the Middle East today who are dying because they refuse to deny Jesus as Lord. I would say they have exceptional faith to stand in the midst of severe persecution and not waiver in their love and devotion to Christ.

In my Western culture, there are people who think persecution is someone refusing to agree with them politically or losing an election or not getting their way to press Christian beliefs onto someone else. They are not being beaten, jailed, or executed for faith in Jesus. How smug it is to tell someone they have less faith when yours has not been tested to the same level of intensity.

Let’s examine what scripture says…

Is anyone among you sick? He must call for the elders (spiritual leaders) of the church and they are to pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord;  and the prayer of faith will restore the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up; and if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to one another [your false steps, your offenses], and pray for one another, that you may be healed and restored. The heartfelt and persistent prayer of a righteous man (believer) can accomplish much [when put into action and made effective by God—it is dynamic and can have tremendous power].-James 5:14-16.

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.-1 Peter 5:10.

In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.-2 Timothy 3:12.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.-Isaiah 43:2.

He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.-Isaiah 53:3.

The righteous person may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all;-Psalm 34:19.

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.-Romans 8:18.

Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.-1 Peter 4:12-13.

If you are sick or suffering, I would like you to be released from any guilt or shame that it’s simply because you don’t have enough faith. I want you to be released from any guilt or shame if you choose to seek medical care, therapy, counseling, soul healing, or use medicine. Yes, I know that is blasphemy for the “faith healing” community. I will say I have seen too many Christians die early or commit suicide because they could not muster up the “faith” to be well.

I attended a church for awhile and the pastor was diagnosed with Leukemia. He chose to use medicine and believe God for healing. He’s alive today. He was judged by the “faith healing” community for using any treatment other that quoting scriptures and believing God. I will say to those people, when you are up all night in excruciating pain, unable to eat or dress yourself, and you have prayed til you are blue in the face-then you can judge someone. Yet, if you have never had to go through what that person is going through, it may be best to remain silent about their choices of care and pray.

I have lived a pretty healthy life. I thank God for this. I do not believe its because I believe God so well. I think there are plenty of things that come into play with health. The injuries I have suffered in life have been the results of trauma. Someone outside of me did something to injury my body. God did not prevent those circumstances, God did and does walk me through them. I understand agony and getting to the place where you have no words to pray. There are only groans that come to the surface. I cannot imagine what people go through who have chronic pain, 24/7 and they have all these Christians telling them that if they just had more faith they’d be whole.

I am not stating God puts sickness, pain, nor suffering on people either. That is the other side of the pendulum. There are people who think God needs to beat you senseless to perfect godliness in your life or sickness/suffering is some badge of honor. The more they suffer, the more God is refining them. This too is not accurate. Everything we face is not from God. There are things we encounter because we are living in a sinful world with selfish people. There are things we encounter where it’s part of living in a fallen world; pesticides in food that make people sick, pollution, environmental crisis that impacts weather and causes tragedy, humans not caring properly for the planet, humans not caring for themselves, we have spiritual battles with good vs. evil, and we have human beings that make choices that are destructive which set up consequences that are not good.

God promises us comfort in our suffering and hard times. God promises to be with us. God promises to provide assistance to us. God does not promise we will bypass all pain and suffering while on this planet. This is not the perfected state, that is yet to come. We will all die some day. I know it is a harsh reality, yet it’s truth. Only the soul and spirit are eternal. These bodies came from the earth and will return there. Yes, we pray for divine health and strength. Yes, we pray for help with suffering and pain. Yes, we want the Kingdom of God to come in it’s fullness. Yes, we cling to the promises of God. We must all trust in the one who is LOVE.

God bless you!

Erin