Breaking Free…Relationships 101

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Of all the books I’ve authored, I am the most excited about the next book. Relationships 101 will hopefully assist people with stepping into incredible relationships and setting boundaries in the less than stellar ones. I hope the book sets people free from settling for the bare minimum in connections and the religious teachings that keep people stuck.

I wanted July 7th to be the official release date, yet I am most likely pushing out for a number of reasons. I prefer it’s exactly what it needs to be rather than pushed out the door swiftly.

One of my desires with this book is people easily learn lessons I learned the hard way or my soul health clients had to learn the hard way. I hope women especially take the lessons and apply them to their lives.

The people we choose to be connected to in ministry/church, friendship, dating, marriage, work…they matter! These connections can elevate or deflate a person’s life. These relationships can add value or subtract value. Every relationship, if we are invested, is requiring something from us. They require time, energy, love, support, encouragement, and more depending on the level of intimacy. Choosing the wrong person or people can change the trajectory of your life.

Despite religious people saying God works all things together for good, count it all joy, and God redeems the times…You and I should not have to be dragged into hell to know that fire is hot. God’s ability to turn a mess into a message should not be a reason to pursue a mess.

I cannot tell you the amount of unnecessary hell, irritation, frustration, stress, and confusion connections with the wrong people brought into my life. That time could have been spent enjoying life, resting, enjoying my youth, connecting with people and places that actually desired to value who I am as a human being. Instead, I was trying to reveal the love of Jesus to every person I met. Even if they were Judas in return or added no value to my life. I was seeking to add value to everyone while not asking for much in return. Therefore, what I received in return was minimal. People could call me one of their best friends, and I could not return the sentiment.

I had to learn that God desired the best for me in every area of my life, including relationships. It’s prudent to note that someone who is not best for us may be a wonderful fit for someone else. I don’t fit with everyone, nor will you. The key is figuring out what works best for you, loving yourself the way God does, and refusing to settle for less than what you’d like in a relationship.

Wisdom is a good thing, the principle thing. Relationships 101 is a foundational book of wisdom nuggets. I hope you pick up the new book and check out the first three books: I Thought I Knew What Love Was, Confident & Free, and Overcoming Church Hurt & Abuse. All three are available on Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble.com.

The Bestseller of the three is Confident & Free. You can get yours here: https://a.co/d/8EPim9V

Warm Regards,

Erin Lamb

Relationships 101 Book Coming…

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Looking back over my life, I’ve made decisions to love people far more than they’ve loved or demonstrated to me. This sacrificial, never demanding reciprocation type, love was applauded by Christians around me. What I learned was (overall) there were not as many people looking out for my best interests on a consistent basis, nor my well-being, my mental/emotional health, or even what I desired out of relationships.

The guidance was, “If you do all these sacrificial things for the church, community, or other people…God will take care of you. God will meet all your needs. Therefore, you should be proud that you invest so much of your self in others while expecting nothing in return.”

It sounds so lovely! Part is true; another part forsakes wisdom.

Love is not selfish. Love pursues the highest good for others. Love does what is honoring. The part that is missing is God is not requiring us to be friends with, date, or marry people who are consumers in our lives. The “God is so proud of you, yet ask nothing of me in return,” is a way for people to make sure they or their church/ministry are benefited with little to no requirements to do anything in return. The lie told is that “you are doing this for God so it’s what God wants for you.”

I have learned throughout my life plenty of people put God’s name on what benefits their best interests and desires. God desires you serve until you’re burned out, instead of God provides you with a brain and wisdom. Therefore, examine what is reasonable and do not over extend yourself. God desires you give as much money as you can to the church and God will repay you. Truth is that church or ministry desires your funds and only if you give with the right motives will it be credited to you. You are not to give under compulsion.

The truth is as follows: God actually desires that we are in healthy, reciprocal relationships that are life giving. God desires we are loved in return. In a friendship, dating, or marriage there should be some reciprocation, mutual investment, mutual respect and care.

There is a difference between ministry, charity, and a friendship. Ministry and charity involve serving in many capacities without receiving anything in return. A relationship is a partnership of two people who mutually invest, support, and give love. It’s not intended to be persistent one sidedness in dating, friendship, or marriage. Yes, there may be a season or seasons where people cannot reciprocate; they are sick, deployed somewhere else, or they cannot invest any time/love/support. It is abnormal to be connected in relationships with people who do nothing but receive (unless it is a baby/child).

What about God? Does He give to us expecting nothing in return. People say “God expects nothing.” In relationship with God, God asks for faithfulness, faith, love, loyalty, that we listen to sound guidance, to go through His Son, and for our entire lives. God loves everyone! God is NOT in a relationship with everyone. Jesus ministered to many people with deep love who never chose Him. They never reciprocated love. They never turned towards Him. And while people will tell you that those people are in a relationship with Jesus, God does not force connection. Jesus said, “whoever desires to be my disciple must deny themselves, pick up their cross and follow me.” Meaning, “I am requiring something of you to be in relationship with me.”

Though people say you cannot waste time, any love you give cannot and is not wasted, I disagree. I do believe if we love with pure intentions there is reward from God. I also believe we can waste our own time by dating the wrong people, befriending the wrong people, and marrying the wrong person. I have had copious client’s suffering through horrible relationships; they are stressed, burned out, and depressed.

I do not believe God ordains all these tumultuous relationships to teach people something or break them down so far they cry out for help. I think humans, myself included, choose people or allow people to choose us who are not for our greatest good. Once in the relationship there is a desire for God to bless it. Yes, there is one known relationship I’ve read of in the Bible where God encouraged a prophet to marry someone we would not consider marriage material. I don’t believe God is ordaining every dysfunctional relationship.

I hope my next book, Relationships 101, helps people to forgo wasting their time, energy, gifts, heart with people who will not properly steward those things. The plan is to launch the book later this year!

God wants the best, not sub par relationships for you!

Warmly,

Erin Lamb

Christian Culture vs Jesus

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I have struggled the past 3.5 years, well a bit longer with American Christianity and the religious/political components. The more time I spend with Jesus, the less American Christianity makes sense to me. I have seen Christians betray the teachings of Jesus to adhere to their political ideology and religious traditions. I’ve encountered unjust and ungodly treatment at the hands of “Christians” claiming their ideology is the will of God.

All of it reminds me of the Pharisees. Mainly because they “thought” they were doing the will of God. They had their traditions and rules. They had their ideas of God. They were political and the expectation was to have a Messiah that came in like a war machine to free them of Roman rule. Jesus shows up in a completely different fashion. He is not involved in their politics. He challenges their religions customs. He calls out their hypocrisy. They are religious. They are political. They neglected what God valued more that their religious behaviors and self righteousness.

Sadly, I have witnessed the same behaviors in the past 8-10 years in what I call “Christian culture.” There are behaviors that have been made acceptable that have nothing to do with Jesus and they are stumbling blocks to evangelism.

I recall church focus on the Gospel of Jesus instead of “Here’s who you need to vote for,” or “If you don’t agree with us politically, you don’t belong here,” or “We will end all contact with you if you don’t vote our party.”

I also recall when people hid their racism at church, at least they used the phrase-“I don’t see color.” Which is not appropriate. I won’t go into why, look it up and do some research on cultural sensitivity. Fast forward to 2020 and Christians became quite vocal about their racism or demonstrated apathy regarding what was occurring in society to black and brown people. I would tell you to go back a few years and look at some of the responses by bible thumping Christians on my social media, yet some of it was so nasty I deleted and blocked people. I’ve also ceased having a public personal profile and removed thousands of people from my “friend” list. Not all removed were problematic, I simply decided it was time to simplify and modify my life .

I want to end on a positive note. There are profound revelations that came out of 2020 and even the 4 years prior. 1. Every person should place their faith and trust in Jesus-not the church. I believed people when they said, “We are family and I love you.” Now I understand that God loves me and I cannot place my confidence in Christians. I am not bitter. I am wiser. 2. Just because two people claim to know Jesus does not mean they can be connected in any way other than a shallow connection at church. 3. More religious people than I realized are racist or simply apathetic. 4. Politics matters more to some people than Jesus or how Jesus told them to treat you. 5. You cannot change the religious/political crowd. It is okay to pray for them and move along. I truly believe the political and religious spirits are antichrist and they were certainly involved in the murder of Jesus.

Shaking that leads to revelation may seem horrible at the time, yet it has benefits. I think every follower of Jesus has a moment where culture is moving differently than the Kingdom of Heaven. Follow Jesus. I am not telling you it’s wrong to vote, be involved in politics. I am stating just as the late Billy Graham said, “The church is unwise to link a political party to the Gospel of Jesus.” It’s not the job of the church to tell people who they need to vote for or they are going to hell (I heard a preacher say this). It is not the job of the church to shun people from God’s house because they don’t vote a certain way. It is not the job of the church to send out “prophetic words” to tell people God told them who to vote for!! The pulpit is not a campaign. Though it’s unpopular, it’s not the job of the church to control the lives of everyone and force Christianity on the world. God let’s people choose who they will follow.

My encouragement to all followers of Jesus is to actually follow Jesus. Treat people the way Jesus commanded you to regardless of their political views. Understand, the way you and I respond to the world impacts their views of God, the church, and Jesus. I don’t care how you vote, who you vote for, and have never mistreated someone because they held different beliefs than I do. Why? Because Jesus told me to love my neighbors and my enemies. I don’t view people who vote differently as enemies, even if I don’t agree with their choices.

The world is seeking an authentic Jesus. I don’t recognize the Jesus that is being promoted in Cultural Christianity. Yet history has continued to show us that people mix Jesus with their ideology and then find bible verses to supposedly authenticate it (examples: slavery, stealing land from Indigenous people, oppressing women and immigrants). My encouragement for people to seek to know God for yourself and please don’t allow modern day Pharisees to run you away from the One who genuinely loves YOU!

Warm Regards,

Erin

Transformation (The Old Must Go in Order to Grow)

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I’ve spent years of my life assisting others via prayer, mentoring, discipleship, free counseling, community service, and friendship. I have served when I was in mountain top seasons and valley seasons. I have loved and served people who would betray me or abandon me for petty reasons. I provided for others when I needed assistance. There are people who may clap for this form of service. I learned that it was depleting my soul. I learned God did not desire I give the best of me away to people who would use, abuse, neglect, abandon, or betray. Despite what Christian culture was teaching, I grew to believe that God loved me more than what was presented to me by Christians.

I had a choice to make. I could remain the same or change. There are typically two motivators for change for humans; reward or pain. I believe pain is the greatest of the two because if the cut is deep enough, it transforms us into someone different.

When I first started playing guitar, my finger pads were soft and squishy. Over time, there were callouses that formed. The soft and squishy skin became something rough and able to withstand the pressing of hard strings against my skin. I believe over the years and navigation through challenging relationships with people created callouses on my heart. I still love people, yet I am not soft the way I was. I am no longer bound by toxic loyalty to those who can easily walk away from me. I am no longer giving people dozens of opportunities to reveal they do not care about anyone but themselves. I am no longer giving the best of my time, energy, life, or resources to the entitled or ungrateful.

Pain can be a profound teacher. It taught me to limit the level of access people have to my life. It’s taught me that every person who claims to love me or Jesus is not speaking from a place of truth, even if they believe it is truth. I often wonder if Judas believed he loved Jesus.

It is prudent to understand that love seeks to do no harm to others. Making statements about love is not the same as actually loving. I learned that Christian “nice” is not the same as agape love. I learned politics mattered more to people than I do. I learned that lonely people will take up loads of your time and when they no longer have need of you, they will throw you away or say-“I have nothing in common with you.” Your love and investment will not matter. Their greatest concern is self.

Pain taught me to examine exactly what I desire in people connected to my life instead of primarily focusing on what I can offer others. I learned that selflessness not coupled with wisdom can bankrupt the soul. It is careless to have an abundance of people who have access to us. I also learned there are people like Judas who are willing to sit at your table while planning your demise. Therefore, it is wisdom to pray to God for wisdom regarding every relationship.

My encouragement to you is that you are only stuck if you believe that you are stuck. You can change. I did. You can shift your life from so so and mismatched connections to compatible relationships where you can thrive. I do not believe we were intended to merely survive life. I believe we are destined to thrive. I believe God desires His best for us. You do not have to remain the same. Look at your life and examine what is fruit bearing versus taking up time while lacking substance. Ask yourself if you are the giver while most relationships are with consumers. Look around at your surroundings and ask yourself if you are encouraged, inspired, becoming more like Jesus, growing in a positive way, loved, cherished, appreciated, celebrated, or if you are planted someplace where your roots are drying up from neglect.

One of my favorite quotes is, “If a flower does not bloom, fix the environment not the flower.” There are good people and places. Good is the enemy of great. Do you want great? Or mediocre? Do you desire to grow or remain the same?

I have plants in my home that are currently root bound. They cannot grow past their current environment. Some I placed on the second floor and due to lack of light, they began to die. You and I can shrivel up in the wrong environment and in connections with the wrong people. It does not mean they are bad people, they are simply not the proper connections for our destiny.

Staying where we don’t belong is a choice. Leaving is a choice. The key is we have a choice. If we desire a different outcome, we must make different choices. I’ve made choices to cease listening to the counsel of “Christians” who promote toxic relationships and to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit. I made choices to remove access for hundreds of people to my personal life. I made the choice to cease over investing in people and places that do not value who I am. I made the choice to be someone different, less accessible, and less open to befriending just anyone. To some callouses are bad. I believe they are necessary to provide a layer of protection for us from those who have destructive tendencies. The softest parts of us belong with safe people, not everyone. The most vulnerable parts of our lives are for God and those who are committed to love us, not just people from churches who proclaim love without the fruit of love.

I hope my next book, Relationships 101 assists people with walking in wisdom. I hope you purchase the book and learn from my mistakes as well as triumphs. I hope God uses my story and lessons learned to mitigate horror and trauma in relationships for other people. You are not stuck. You don’t need to live a mediocre life. Settling is a choice! Change your choices, change your life.

Join my business website to be the first to have access to the new book! Empowered-Free.com.

You are also invited to join my April webinar on finding freedom from financial trauma. Unhealed trauma can lead to poor decisions regarding finances. Learn how I doubled my net worth in a short period of time and how you can find freedom in your finances today. Seats are limited…https://www.empowered-free.com/event-info/healing-financial-trauma.

Warmly,

Erin Lamb

The King’s Daughter

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Parable: The King’s Daughter

The King sent his daughter into neighboring countries for diplomatic service. She was not adorned in royal garb. She blended into the crowds. She was there to serve and bless the town’s people. They soon recognized her generosity and made plans for exploitation. They could get their needs met without offering much or anything in return. They offered her what had the least or no value in exchange for her best offers.

They mocked her in private, and some to her face. They gossiped, and tried to sully her reputation. Obviously she was either stupid, weak, or had an ulterior motive. They worked against her efforts to help their poorest citizens. They needed the poor to feel good about themselves, “At least we are not like those people.” Some helped and were generous too. Many were offended by the expressions of kindness.

The daughter of the king kept showing up to serve, give, love. Even when those offerings from her father’s table were trampled under foot.

One day the king appeared and found his daughter. “Come with me,” he said. “I have other countries that desperately need what we have to offer. You do not need to to stay where the gifts are unwanted. Pack your things. We will leave today. I did not send you here for exploitation.”

The daughter packed her things and departed with her father. Though the town’s people did not value what was given to them, they were full of rage that the king’s daughter departed. How dare she. She owed them. They were entitled to receive from the king’s table.

They demanded she return. She did not. She and the king took their gifts, generosity, and blessings to other countries. The people in other countries were open to the king’s decrees. They rejoiced that the king chose their town to be recipients of his goodness.

The king’s daughter flourished in her new assignments. She made new alliances and assisted the king in building an empire focused on loving people. The daughter learned a valuable lesson; do not waste your gifts on those who do not appreciate them.

Warmly,

Erin L Lamb

The Peach Groves-Parable

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Photo Source: The Tutu Guru Australia

Parable: Stewardship

There was a wealthy peach grove owner who left his daughter acres and acres of fertile land. Each year the harvest was abundant, more than she could eat or sell. She chose to open the gates to the grove to those from her church, town, extended family, neighboring towns yearly to share the harvest. Some were grateful and respectful. Many vandalized the groves, took way more than needed, threw fruit on the ground, spit on the property, and cursed her for not providing for them year round. The daughter spent weeks to months cleaning up the damage they caused. Her father was deeply grieved by the excessive damage done to his property, gift to his daughter, and the damage to his daughter’s heart.

Local church people encouraged the girl to keep opening the gates because the hungry and needy were in desperate need of love. It was her responsibility to feed them. Though the local churches required money from the town’s people and paid no taxes, they were not feeding the people.

After years of opening the gates and suffering extreme damage, the father locked the gates. He sat down with his daughter and proclaimed, “The gifts and abundance I have given you were not solely to give away. I love and cherish you. It breaks my heart to see you treated this way. You do not owe everyone access to the groves. They were my gift to you. You must manage how you share what I have given you. I am not requiring you to be destroyed in the process of caring for other people. Keep the groves locked. During harvest time, let people know if there will be extra you will drop of what you feel led to give in your heart to the towns. They are not to set foot in the grove. This area is sacred and my gift to you. If they spit on your gift, shake the dust off your feet and do not return to that town. Steward the grove as though it has tremendous value, because it does. You have tremendous value to me.”

The daughter followed her father’s instructions and apologized to him for not stewarding well his gift to her. She kept the grove locked. When she gathered excess from the harvest, she took it to various towns. If they were hostile, entitled, ungrateful or abusive…she shook the dust off her feet and did not return. Her peach grove grew to be even more abundant because she did not spend weeks to months rebuilding what people destroyed. She ceased trusting the local church people who were exploiting the people rather than helping them. She kept the grove guarded! She flourished under the guidance of her father.

Moral of the story: Guard your heart, giftings, resources from God. You do not owe everyone access. Poor stewardship can destroy you! God cares about you and how people treat you. God bless.

Love in Christ,

Erin L. Lamb

CEO & Founder of Lamb Enterprises LLC and Operation God is Love

Empowered-Free.com

OperationGodisLove.org

When You Change the Access to You-Everything Changes

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"Not everyone deserves that much access to you". My sweet sweet ...

I am breaking from the myths about God to discuss relationships. There is a well known quote that reads, “Show me your friends, and I will show you your future.”

Recently I was listening to an apostle/pastor from Africa and he said something that stuck with me. He said, “If you have loads of people around you, you may feel popular. It does not mean you are popular. It means you are careless. You do not place enough value on who you are and therefore, you provide everyone access to you.”

I have lived this careless life. I wanted to desperately love people and share with them all that God was to me. I desired God love through me for other people to encounter His great love.

It sounds beautiful, doesn’t it? To love the world the way God loves us. It’s certainly biblical. Yeshua stated, “Go love your neighbors and love your enemies. Go into all the world and tell them who I am. God show them who I am. Go and be an example of my light and love to the world. They will know my true followers by their love.” Ah, the eloquent and lovely words of Jesus.

These words, if they are not coupled with wisdom and discernment, have the capability to destroy your life. The same bible that tells you to love your neighbor as your self also proclaims that “a companion of fools suffers harm” and “how can two be joined together unless they agree.” Wisdom and love are not separated with God. There were people Jesus avoided until His appointed time because He knew they desired to kill Him. There were times that He separated Himself from the crowds and the people who clamored for space next to Him. He was loving, purposeful, and wise.

I have spent years of my life forsaking wisdom with my attempts to love. I simply showered love on people. I gave people access to my home in bible studies. Some destroyed my carpet, some broke my heart, some betrayed me, and some gossiped. People will tell you that what you are doing is for the glory of God so it does not matter if people destroy you or your things. If they harm you, God will heal and restore you. Here is the part people leave out. God DOES NOT desire you are destroyed in the process of loving people AND you get to decide the level of access people have to you.

There is the popular minister, who’s name I won’t say here, that I befriended on Facebook. After a week or so, he realized he did not know me. He accepted my friend request because we had mutual friends in common. You know what he did? He unfriended me. He did not have a conversation with me. He did not ask about my feelings. He simply deleted my access to his personal FB page. He had the right to do that, as I am not his real friend.

I, in my unwise attempts to love people, have given people way more access to my life, time, resources, gifts, talents, intercessory covering, friendship, etc…than they demonstrated they could steward well. In return it was not met with some horrible situations. Why might you suppose? Because when you give too much of yourself to other people without limits, you teach them not to value you. People value what is scarce, expensive, just a bit out of their reach.

People disrespect what is common, too available, too generous, and abundance. I say this with the caveat that there are people who appreciate and value what is abundant in their lives. It’s not the normal, sinful nature of mankind to value what is abundant. Look what humans have done to the environment, other humans, and the earth. They have exploited it and other humans.

What is my point? It is unwise to provide everyone access. It unwise to forsake healthy boundaries and limits. It is unwise to provide abundance for people without wisdom. It is wise to have criteria for who has access to your life, information about your life, and who you partner with in ministry or anything else.

Every person and everything you say yes to is a no to something else. Are you wasting your life on people who are not tied to your purpose or destiny? I wasted years of my life fighting battles with people that were absolutely unnecessary. They are long gone. They ditched me and moved on with their lives. They left behind messes they did not clean up because of course that’s “God’s job.” One of the greatest relational lies I have witnessed in western Christianity is, “If you are the martyr in relationships and you are harmed, God is delighted and will fix you right up.” It can take years of soul healing to recover from one bad relationship. I believe God desires we exercise wisdom with who has access to our lives.

My life is rapidly changing because the wide nets I cast to ensure everyone was loved, included, cared for…has shifted to, “Is it wise for me to invest here? Is the Spirit of God calling me to invest in this person or thing, or am I in a mindset of over giving and forsaking wisdom.”

It is not true that setting limits with people means you don’t love them. It is not true that boundaries make you evil and uncaring. What it means is you value yourself. What it means is you value the destiny God placed inside you and it is important to you. What is means is you value your life and desire to make the most of your life. It means you love yourself. God actually desires that you love yourself.

You don’t owe everyone access. Trust is earned. Friendship is a gift, not a privilege. The ability to know what is going on in your heart, life, family, and business is not for everyone. Your story is not up for grabs by everyone. You control how much of yourself, your time, and your life you give to other people. God expects that you and I to guard our hearts. We are expected to guard the access to the most precious parts of ourselves. Don’t look to others to do it for you.

Lastly examine who you have given access to your life. Are they adding any value? Or are they simply taking up time and space? If you look at the 5 people you spend most of your time with, do you desire to be like them. Are you inspired or tired? Are you growing or fighting off unnecessary drama? Are you moving closer to becoming who God created you to be or are you perpetually distracted?

I hope you stay tuned in to posts. They are leading up to the fourth book-Relationships 101. I have learned quite a bit over the years and hope something shared is helpful and blesses you.

Warm Regards,

Erin Lamb

Author & CEO of Lamb Enterprises LLC

Empowered-Free.com

The Spirit of Christmas

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I confess that Christmas does not get as much hype in my life as it does for others. Mainly because after studying the life of Jesus and the Bible it makes no sense that He was born on December 25th. Jesus was most likely born in the autumn/fall season around the time of the Feast of Tabernacles-Sukkot. See the references at the end. I also hated as a child seeing the faces of children who did not receive what they asked for and they tried so hard to be good all year.

Then there were the parents and families I would see stressed out because of all the money they needed to spend on Christmas. Rather than their hard work celebrated, children chanted ” Thanks Santa.” It perplexed me the amount of effort spent on purchasing things and the statement this was the season of Jesus. One waitress I encountered a few years back was working double shifts to buy thousands of dollars worth of gifts for Christmas. I wondered about those who have no parents, no money, and no means to have such an elaborate gift exchange.

Jesus provided a way to engage with the world that did not focus on going into debt, telling little white lies, or adding copious amounts of stress to people’s lives. He said, “Those who are weary, come to me, and I will give you rest.” He stated that the way of His Kingdom was one of love, and that love does not require purchasing expensive gifts, going into debt, nor forced time with family who drive you crazy. I believe the greatest gift is Jesus and no matter the season of our lives there is blessing attached to Him.

I don’t have children, yet if I did, I could see me taking them to serve those without around the holidays so they could see that Christmas is not about them. It’s about God so loved the world that He sent His only begotten Son so whosoever would place their faith in Him would not perish, they could find everlasting life!! See John 3:16. That is The GIFT. God provided a way to Him that is eternal and beautiful.

There is a simpler way to live and I want to highlight a few.

  1. Choose kindness during the holidays. I am a proponent of doing this year round, yet if you want a great time to be kind-choose holidays. More people are depressed or commit suicide during the holidays.
  2. Focus on something that helps the needy and unloved in society. Maybe I have some bias because I serve in monthly outreaches to the homeless. Yet, have seen how giving them 1 gift lit up their entire world.
  3. Ditch entitlement and selfishness. It also amazed me that on Jesus’ supposed birthday people purchased gifts for everyone else and some people have horrible attitudes when they don’t get what they want. They feel entitled to something.
  4. Find someone outside your inner circle to love and encourage. As stated the holidays are sad times for plenty of people. I wrapped an abundance of gifts for our homeless friends and my friend Greg brought them coats and boots.

I will state that I am not against the December 25th festivities. Once I get dressed-I am still in pajamas-I plan to head to my parents with a small bag of gifts for my family. They don’t simply receive from me on holidays, nor does Jesus. I don’t think Christmas is about me and getting something for myself. The Spirit of Christmas is to reveal who the Messiah is to a lost and hurting world. It does not matter how many church services or candlelight services I attend if my life does not reflect the goodness, peace, joy, love, kindness, hope, and beauty of the Messiah.

I do not believe Jesus was born in winter or December. I do believe he was born as a sign of hope in a hurting world. He was born in humble circumstances and lived a life of radical love and obedience to His heavenly Father. He made a tremendous impact on the world! He came and He served. He came and He loved. He came and walked in 100% truth. He loved deeply and sacrificed for us, for the entire world.

My hopes for Christmas is the world has a profound encounter with the real Jesus of Nazareth. My prayer is people move beyond worshiping themselves and consumerism to worship God in spirit and in truth. I pray people move beyond seeing a helpless baby in a cradle to seeing the King of kings sitting at the right hand of the Father, standing in full authority and power. He is the Lord over the Universe. Along with that, I pray that you and I reveal Jesus to others via our interactions with them. May they see the light of God through us year round. May our example be, “God is real and God is good.”

May God bless you, keep you, and His face shine brilliantly upon you. Blessing you, your family, and your new year. Shalom.

References:

Feast of Tabernacles https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/4784/jewish/What-Is-Sukkot.htm

Jesus was not born in December: https://www.ucg.org/the-good-news/biblical-evidence-shows-jesus-christ-wasnt-born-on-dec-25

Myths About God-God Does Not Care About Your Tears

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Image Source: HelpForIsrael.org

Maybe you have heard someone say to you that God does not care about your tears, He’s only concerned with your faith. I heard that growing up and it did something to my view of God. I believed all I needed to do was muster up enough faith and God would be so proud of me. If I was sad, hurt, damaged, or needed to cry-God was unconcerned. He was shouting from His throne, “Pick yourself up by your bootstraps and forge on in faith. Your feelings are meaningless to me. All I care about is you believe what I say.” God was impersonal and cold. God was unconcerned and task driven. God cared about my performance and not my heart.

Guess what? Believing a lie about God damages the way we view God and blocks intimacy with God. My response when hurting was to remove God from my emotions and handle them by myself. I also learned to bury sadness and live numb. I ran across Christians similar to myself who were shamed for crying, shamed for feeling anything but powerful, made to feel inferior because their faith did not change all their feelings. Instead of running to God, there was a wall erected. Their humanity is reduced to acts of religious duty, pretending to have it all together, throwing scripture on every problem.

You’ve kept track of all my wandering and my weeping. You’ve stored my many tears in your bottle—not one will be lost. For they are all recorded in your book of remembrance.-Psalm 56:8 (TPT).

The Lord is close to all whose hearts are crushed by pain, and he is always ready to restore the repentant one,-Psalm 34:18 (TPT).

He will swallow up death forever; and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces, and the reproach of his people he will take away from all the earth, for the Lord has spoken.-Isaiah 25:8 (ESV)

“Go and say to Hezekiah, Thus says the Lord, the God of David your father: I have heard your prayer; I have seen your tears. Behold, I will add fifteen years to your life.”-God (Isaiah 38:5)-ESV.

When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled.-John 11:33.

Jesus wept.-John 11:35.

Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.-1 Peter 5:7 (ESV).

There are plenty of scriptures where God responded to the hurting and promised that those who go forth in weeping, would come back with joy. He promised to wipe the tears from our faces. He promised to be close to the brokenhearted. God is not cold. God is not off put by emotions.

God cares about your feelings and my feelings. God also cares about faith. I believe it’s an act of faith to run to God instead of away from Him in times of pain. It requires faith to allow God into the pain versus trying to do it oneself. To turn to God when we are hurting, when we don’t understand, and in grief, is a sign of trust.

I want people to run to God and cry it out if necessary. It does not make you weak or faithless. Jesus had perfect faith and shed tears. I honestly hope one day the traditions of misrepresenting God fall by the wayside and people encounter God as is, not as humans have presented God to be.

God cares about you.

God cares about what damages your heart, mind, body, and emotions.

God is close to the brokenhearted and cares about every detail of your life.

My encouragement is run to God with what hurts you and trust that God cares. My other encouragement is do not ignore your emotions. Emotions are indicators. Process them. Tend to them. Forgo stuffing them. Throwing scriptures at them may not remove them. It may require sitting with God and/or someone training in soul health to process through the pain.

I have spent the past 8 years helping people with soul wounds process their pain. Every time God is invited to help them, God responds. There is more kindness in God than there is in humans. There is more compassion in God than in humans. God is far better at caring about people than we are. Sadly the religious and humans who claim to know God have grossly misrepresented Him.

Seek God and know that you are loved.

Warmly,

Erin

Myths About God-Suffering & Pain

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One of the myths I have seen passed around about God, mostly from evangelical Christians is if you have enough faith you will never get sick, never suffer, never endure anything painful. Faith becomes this buffer to bypass the impact of sin on this world. I have witnessed evangelical Christians use faith as a crutch or billy club or some elitist badge of pride. “Look at my life and how blessed I am, I certainly have more faith than you.”

I have seen people who believe in this “faith prevents all pain and suffering” as a tool to condemn those hurting or sick, “Well, you must not have enough faith or you must have sinned.” I have also sadly witnessed people who are deathly ill die because they refused any medical care, mental or emotional care. Their faith in God was supposed to do all the work and if God did not heal, they would rather die.

I am not telling you to not believe God, nor to forgo praying for miracles. I am a huge proponent of praying for the sick and have seen God move mountains for people where doctors had lost all hope. I spent years working at the free clinic and my team saw amazing things that transcended my logical understanding. I have seen God raise the dead, open deaf ears, cause the lame to walk, open closed wombs, heal cancer, shrink and dissolve tumors, completely change the life of someone. I believe in healing. I believe God loves wholeness, health, and for us to live abundant lives.

The point I want to address today is this myth that walking with God prevents us from all pain, suffering, hurt, loss, grief, or even pain in the body. People who believe that it does, I question if they have read the full counsel of scripture. Jesus plainly stated that in the world there would be trouble, yet take heart because He has overcome the world. Jesus was beaten and his flesh ripped from His body (that was an injury). They pierced Him, beat Him, whipped Him, mocked Him, and hurt Him physically. Jesus had and has perfect faith. If the one who is perfect in faith was not shielded from all suffering and pain, why do we think we would be? Not only Jesus, read about all the apostles and early Christians who were martyred for their faith in Christ. We have Christians all over Asia and the Middle East today who are dying because they refuse to deny Jesus as Lord. I would say they have exceptional faith to stand in the midst of severe persecution and not waiver in their love and devotion to Christ.

In my Western culture, there are people who think persecution is someone refusing to agree with them politically or losing an election or not getting their way to press Christian beliefs onto someone else. They are not being beaten, jailed, or executed for faith in Jesus. How smug it is to tell someone they have less faith when yours has not been tested to the same level of intensity.

Let’s examine what scripture says…

Is anyone among you sick? He must call for the elders (spiritual leaders) of the church and they are to pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord;  and the prayer of faith will restore the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up; and if he has committed sins, he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to one another [your false steps, your offenses], and pray for one another, that you may be healed and restored. The heartfelt and persistent prayer of a righteous man (believer) can accomplish much [when put into action and made effective by God—it is dynamic and can have tremendous power].-James 5:14-16.

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.-1 Peter 5:10.

In fact, everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.-2 Timothy 3:12.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.-Isaiah 43:2.

He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem.-Isaiah 53:3.

The righteous person may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all;-Psalm 34:19.

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.-Romans 8:18.

Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.-1 Peter 4:12-13.

If you are sick or suffering, I would like you to be released from any guilt or shame that it’s simply because you don’t have enough faith. I want you to be released from any guilt or shame if you choose to seek medical care, therapy, counseling, soul healing, or use medicine. Yes, I know that is blasphemy for the “faith healing” community. I will say I have seen too many Christians die early or commit suicide because they could not muster up the “faith” to be well.

I attended a church for awhile and the pastor was diagnosed with Leukemia. He chose to use medicine and believe God for healing. He’s alive today. He was judged by the “faith healing” community for using any treatment other that quoting scriptures and believing God. I will say to those people, when you are up all night in excruciating pain, unable to eat or dress yourself, and you have prayed til you are blue in the face-then you can judge someone. Yet, if you have never had to go through what that person is going through, it may be best to remain silent about their choices of care and pray.

I have lived a pretty healthy life. I thank God for this. I do not believe its because I believe God so well. I think there are plenty of things that come into play with health. The injuries I have suffered in life have been the results of trauma. Someone outside of me did something to injury my body. God did not prevent those circumstances, God did and does walk me through them. I understand agony and getting to the place where you have no words to pray. There are only groans that come to the surface. I cannot imagine what people go through who have chronic pain, 24/7 and they have all these Christians telling them that if they just had more faith they’d be whole.

I am not stating God puts sickness, pain, nor suffering on people either. That is the other side of the pendulum. There are people who think God needs to beat you senseless to perfect godliness in your life or sickness/suffering is some badge of honor. The more they suffer, the more God is refining them. This too is not accurate. Everything we face is not from God. There are things we encounter because we are living in a sinful world with selfish people. There are things we encounter where it’s part of living in a fallen world; pesticides in food that make people sick, pollution, environmental crisis that impacts weather and causes tragedy, humans not caring properly for the planet, humans not caring for themselves, we have spiritual battles with good vs. evil, and we have human beings that make choices that are destructive which set up consequences that are not good.

God promises us comfort in our suffering and hard times. God promises to be with us. God promises to provide assistance to us. God does not promise we will bypass all pain and suffering while on this planet. This is not the perfected state, that is yet to come. We will all die some day. I know it is a harsh reality, yet it’s truth. Only the soul and spirit are eternal. These bodies came from the earth and will return there. Yes, we pray for divine health and strength. Yes, we pray for help with suffering and pain. Yes, we want the Kingdom of God to come in it’s fullness. Yes, we cling to the promises of God. We must all trust in the one who is LOVE.

God bless you!

Erin