Loving Women Who’ve Had Abortions

I posted this on my personal Facebook Saturday because I kept seeing quite condemning posts regarding those who have had abortions. I hoped by posting it, there would be a stirring in people’s hearts to think about the person on the other end and consider that every statistic is an actual person; a person God loves. It’s so easy to beat people up and assume when we do not know their full story. I hope this blesses someone. See the post below.

Helping Women Who’ve Had Numerous Abortions (Love, Compassion, & Providing Solutions)-Testimonies.

So part of what I do is deep inner healing and helping those who suffer from severe cases of PTSD, DID, Bipolar, Schizophrenia using faith based methods. Over the years I have encountered numerous women who aborted children. For those who ask or say , “How could someone do this? This is murder!! This person is sick,” I wanted to share some testimonies and maybe provide some insight into the mind of the woman who is more than a number.

First God loves that person deeply and His forgiveness, love, mercy, and grace is available to everyone-not just the people Christian culture deem worthy.

I love that Jesus was moved with compassion and healed the sick, not moved with rage so He picked up stones to beat them to death. Jesus sees the heart and reasons why people do the things they do.

In every single session with a woman who had an abortion or many abortions there was DEEP rooted pain, shame, hurt, and for some deep roots of self hatred. One woman told me when I asked her why so many, “I am not fit to be a mom. I thought they would be better off without me, without the struggle, without the pain of having me as their mom. I wanted men to love me so I gave myself away. They abandoned me when they found out I was pregnant. I could not bring a child into my dysfunction.” You may be screaming “Birth Control!” Yet the only 100% full proof birth control is abstinence. We live in a culture that promotes the easy hook up without every truly talking about the consequences. If a person believes the only way to be loved (which is really lust), is to give themselves away physically, then you see patterns of forgoing abstinence.

Some of the women were married and aborted their children because they could not afford another child or were told their child would be severely impaired. We can scream adoption, trust God, yet until we sit across from someone in agony-well I think prayer, compassion, love, and helping people find solutions is a better option than judgement.

I am pro all lives. I also have seen the flip side of children in foster care, abandoned into abusive situations, or born to parents who abused or trafficked them. What can we do to protect children once they are born?

A common thread was woven through those deep inner healing sessions; fear (what will people think), lack of support, shame (we got pregnant outside of God’s boundaries), a health concern, self hatred and lack of God esteem, financial concerns, and feeling there would not be anyone to help raise the child.

I have watched women break down in agony over their choices. Some were told by partners they would be abandoned if they kept the baby and they had no financial means to do it alone. Some were in abusive relationships and did not desire to see their child abused. Some felt they would find shaming instead of love/support/help in the church or communities of faith.

Sometimes it takes a long time to get women to forgive themselves, receive forgiveness from God, and invite God into those deep wounds. Restoration is possible and God’s heart.

I believe God wants to see people healed. I believe God wants us to know how deeply we are loved so we can love our neighbor, our children, ourselves. I believe God wants our communities of faith to be places where people can turn with their fears, issues, and find love instead of more pain. Do we tell the truth, yes. Do we point to Jesus, yes. Do we love people and cultivate safe places, YES!

What if instead of fear of backlash for being real and sharing weaknesses with people of faith, people wanted to run into the communities of faith in crisis.

Some of these women were severely abused as children or adults, dissociative, struggled with mental/emotional problems, or were currently with an abusive partner. One woman aborted her child with her husband because he forced himself on her and was highly abusive, unfaithful, and she could not bring another child into that situation. She has currently escaped him, yet there was great pain there. Yes forcing yourself on your marital partner is still rape and wrong. Paul stating the body of the spouse should not be withheld was addressing new converts in the community who wanted to practice abstinence after converting to Christianity and they were married. He stated physical intimacy belongs within covenant. He was not giving a license to force your spouse into physical intimacy.

My hope with this post is to provide some insight from someone who has the honor of partnering with Jesus to see the rebuild or aftermath of the hurt soul. I have not encountered one woman in a session proud of her choice. Not one. I have seen agony, fear, and someone who deeply needed God’s profound love.

All after receiving soul healing, which went far deeper than surface issues, they chose to never have another abortion.

I think the goal of God is connection, reconciliation, and for the world to know Him. I also believe God longs to heal, forgive, redeem, and restore.

May we love!

Photo: Pinterest

Warmly,

Erin Lamb