Thoughts On Raising the Dead

Thoughts on raising the dead.

I want to be sensitive, loving, and appropriate with this post. Jesus did what He saw the Father doing and said what He heard Him speaking. Jesus operated in this holy and intimate connection with the Father. He listened intently to the agenda of heaven. Jesus did not pray for every sick person He saw, nor raise every single dead person. Those who came to Him He healed. He did not stop for every sick person He saw. Jesus listened to the agenda of heaven and followed suit.

I know of people raised from the dead. God has saved my life 7 times over from nearly dying. In each case, there was a purpose and reason. That person’s assignment was incomplete and/or someone came into alignment with heaven to see the fulfillment of their destiny. Only God knows the assignment and destiny of a person. It is not dependent on age. Some do not cry nor contend if an 80 year old person dies. Yet if their destiny in God was not fulfilled, it’s still worth mourning. An 8 year old may seem like they have not fulfilled their calling. However, only God knows why each of us are here.

It is tragic and awful when death occurs. It’s painful. When we know God can do something, it can tug at the desire for the miraculous inside of us to see Heaven invade the earth. It can be tempting to believe if we just sing louder, pray harder, believe bigger that we are somehow going to be The Avengers who snap our fingers and magically reverse death. I have seen God do incredible things. I have also seen children and older people who loved God slip right on into eternity. I love what Kathryn Kuhlman said, “It is my job to pray, God’s job to heal.”

I prayed for a man on death’s door that had thousands of people praying for him. He died. This was devastating for people. I saw light leave his body and return to God. I heard a still small voice saying, “His assignment is done. Well done my good and faithful servant.” When people were talking about calling him back, I could not link to their prayers. They were praying their will be done, not the best for the man. He was martyred for the Gospel and will receive incredible eternal rewards. While his death was tragic to us. Heaven saw someone willing to risk it all for Jesus entering into rest.

I was battling with God over someone I loved with my life who died. I loved this person with my life. This person loved, loved, loved Jesus. Lived a holy life. She died. We prayed for life. She slipped out of our arms and right into the arms of Jesus. If God can raise the dead, why didn’t He do it this time?! I talked to my best friend Jesus after grieving for awhile. I am sharing this with you to hopefully bring hope and perspective, not pain. Adding in what He spoke this morning. Certainly weigh it, test it, pray over it.

“I hate the pain that death causes. I wept over the pain of the death of Lazarus. Lazarus was my friend. I knew he would be raised, yet his death brought pain to so many. Some think the Father is the orchestrator of their pain and it is untrue. Some blame. Some grow angry. Some disappointed. They do not understand that before sin entered the world, death and sickness were not a reality.

Mankind chose sin, sin brings pain. It impacts those who love me and those who hate me. You live in a sin filled world, yet I have overcome the world. Even those who love me and abide in me will face challenges on your side of eternity. Have hope that what you live now is not the full story. Eternity awaits and there is no death in Paradise.

I love faith. I love when the children of God lift their eyes to the promises of God and believe. I love the boldness to declare with unwavering faith what has been spoken from the Father’s heart in scripture. I also desire for closeness and pursuit of heaven’s vantage point. There are things at work that humans do not always see nor understand. They think, ‘How could a loving God allow this?,’ instead of asking, ‘How can I grow to know God through this?’

We are not causing tragedy to build intimacy. We do not prevent all bad things from happening. It requires a different perspective to see as we see. We move intently into the middle of grief. I am close to the broken hearted and save those crushed in spirit. I hold the hurting in my arms and love them to life.

Some do not realize to every life there is an assignment and many fulfill it and come home. The timing is not what others desire for it is in the human heart to live for eternity. Those who are united with me will live forever, simply not in your realm. The conditions are far more pleasant where there is no sin, no sickness, no death.

Some desire to come home and I will not violate their will. They may never tell their loved ones, yet they get a glimpse of where they will be, who I am, and never want to go back. I care for each person’s wishes as well as completing the will of the Father.

In the moments where you do not understand, sink into my heart. Inquire and listen. Heaven has a different viewpoint than the sons and daughters of Adam.”

I believe in praying bold, faith filled prayers. I also believe in asking God, “What are you doing in this situation and how should I pray?” When my friend was sick and we had been praying for weeks for a miracle, I finally stopped praying our will be done and started praying, “God what is heaven’s best in this situation? I want that.”

Sure we want people to live forever on earth, yet the reality is sin created an environment where we will all leave earth. Some will be gathered into the eternal arms of God. Some will slip into a godless realm. Either way, earth is the shortest time we will live.

Should we pray for the sick and expect healing. I think so. Should we leave the results in God’s hands, yes! We cannot heal or raise anyone from the dead. It’s only by God’s power. Do we believe for what looks impossible? Heck yeah! Do we also recognize we do not command the Universe, God does? Yes.

I don’t always get it. I do know God is good. I do know the wisdom of God is FAR beyond our wisdom.

Blessing you!

Love,

Erin Lamb

When God Love is Unrecognized

Loving People Who Do Not Grasp God’s Love

Have you ever tried to love someone with God love and they either misconstrued it as eros (romantic love), rejected the love, misunderstood the love, did not believe you loved them, tried to use you, or trampled it under foot? I have. It used to bother me greatly, I confess. Then God allowed me to see Jesus loved everyone perfectly, yet some still could accept His love, receive His love, understand Him, nor reciprocate His love.

Jesus, the love of God through Him, was foreign to the religious. His love was not recognized, God was not recognized, He was neither believed nor accepted. The love of God is so lavish, so selfless, and so pure.

The world without knowledge of God cannot recognize what it has no grid for. Love in our culture is often lust (based on selfish gain, fleshly passions, self gratification). It is not holy, pure, nor does it sacrifice anything for another unless there is hopes to gain something.

When you love people without knowing them, it can scare them. If you are too lavish, some think you have ulterior motives. Why? Because our world system is upside down to God’s system. God loves us first and sacrificially. God is not selfish. My point is, and I have to say this to myself, love is not wasted. It may feel that way, yet if it’s for God it’s not.

I served a homeless guy for a bit who ended up off the street and with a job. He rejoiced and thought I was amazing while he was being blessed. Years later I saw him drunk and back on the streets. He cursed me and shooed me away. Did I waste my time for that year I served him and helped him? That hot summer day he cursed me in broad daylight it felt that way. Yet the truth is, Jesus was glorified that year. That man cannot stand before God and say no one ever showed me your love. And guess what, I still keep showing up on the streets.

Whether people clap, boo, talk about me, slander my name, wrongly judge my intentions, trample love underfoot, I keep waking up to love the world. Yes, use wisdom and set boundaries. But don’t let people not full of God’s love destroy your desire to love. Those who do not love, do not know God, for God is love (1 John 4:8).

My encouragement is ask for wisdom and keep your love on for Jesus. Sometimes the prayer is, “God help me to love!”

Warmly,

Erin Lamb

Thriving in Finances in 2020 (Wisdom Series)

Tips on how to stop living paycheck to paycheck! And increasing tithes and offerings is not on my list.

We do not love money, yet being broke is not cute and stressful. Having more than enough can provide for future generations or invest in making the world a better place.

1. Look at where your money goes each month. Go to the bank and grab a statement or export one to Excel. Look at what you spend money on and dial back what is not needed. Do you need Starbucks every day? It’s $4.99 for your morning fix. Or can you cut that and brew coffee at home? Do you need mega cable? I cancelled cable years ago. Do you need to eat out at restaurants every day? I take my lunch most of the time and have a grocery budget. Yes I said the b word-BUDGET! Yes there are times to splurge. Most of the times there is a target. I also shop weekly so items do not spoil. I went through a phase where I ate the same thing every day to build up savings.

2. Set financial goals. Do you want a vacation? To pay off debt? Pay your house off early? Without a plan, you fail. Without vision the people perish. I set a plan to pay off my car early. I did, even with loss of major income. I set a plan to pay off my house early. I am working towards that plan. I set a goal to have more than 1 stream of income. I now do.

3. What can you do outside your 9-5 to earn money? God gives us the power to gain wealth. There are companies like Fivver, Upwork, etc that hire freelancers. What do you do to solve problems? Find a way to capitalize on it. If you don’t know how to start a business, SCORE can help. And SCORE is FREE for the most part. There are free resources everywhere.

4. SAVE instead of spend. Say you have an extra bonus from work, how about saving some of it instead of heading to the mall. My family has made fun of me because I am not a big spender. I like to travel, yet I still price shop. Can I get this cheaper somewhere else? Can I bargain? Girl has mad bargaining skills. I have not paid anywhere near sticker price for a car, and God has blessed me with favor in this area. Yet I have not ever asked my family for money. I bet they like that…Set up a savings plan. Say what? Yes, even if it’s 10 dollars a week. That’s $40 a month, thats $480 a year. Build at least a $1,000 emergency fund.

5. Stop overgiving. I repeat, stop over giving. It is possible to over give!! It is possible to use your emergency fund to get someone else out of crisis and you end up in a ditch. If I cannot afford to not be repayed, I don’t let people borrow from me. I also assess what I can do and what God wants me to do. I had a family member in crisis a few years ago who was quite angry I would not help them. Well, I am glad I did not. Why? My finances were hit later on and never would have seen that money again.

6. Don’t be lazy or expect money to fall from the sky. If the job offers overtime and you need extra cash, pick up a shift or two.

7. Ask God for wisdom with money. This one is big for me. God loves to provide wisdom. Wisdom is pivotal for thriving in life.

8. Think about future generations even if you do not have kids. I would love to help future generations thrive. Living only for self is not meaningful.

9. Treat money like something you are stewarding for God. The same with a business or ministry. It is for Him. It’s a resource. God is the Source.

10. Don’t steal. Don’t steal your company’s time by not doing your job. Why? One it’s wrong, two the thief pays back 7 times what is stolen. Sow stealing, reap being broke. Do your job with excellence. Show up, do it well.

11. Stop complaining/murmuring and using your words in a negative fashion. “I am always broke.” Stop cursing yourself. Speak life. I had a financial hit last year and I kept saying, “God shall provide all my needs according to His riches in glory. Those who give to the poor lend to the Lord. God is faithful to His word. My bank accounts will not go to zero.” Not one account went to zero.

12. Ask God for ideas, witty inventions, concepts, and answers to the world’s problems. If you’re a problem solver, you can build a business.

You can give tithes and name seed all day and still be broke. Without a plan, you fail. Why? Because there is no vision to funnel wealth into. I have met people who are the biggest givers at church and they are BROKE! Wisdom, the Bible says, get wisdom. Money is a resource. God is the Source. Lord knows He has come through for me in incredible ways when I was hard pressed. He is the Source. He also gives us wisdom, talents, skills, creative ideas, and insight to go create/generate wealth.

Last key, the Bible speaks highly of those who remember the poor. Please don’t forget to invest in those who truly cannot do for themselves at the time. God will repay you! Hope something here was a blessing.

While people are planning their trips to the gym, how about a savings plan. 🙂

Warmly,

Erin

You Are Not Alone in the Fire

Sunday Encouragement: You Are Not Alone in the Fire (Prayer of Refreshing at the End).

Yesterday a candle set fire in my kitchen. No real harm, I contained it. No property damage. A little smokey in the house, yet thankful I heard it the second it caught fire. There was a flash and whoosh sound.

Fire consumes. Fire spreads quickly. Fire is intense. The heat from the flames can range from 750F to 1,300F. Have you ever felt like life seated you in the middle of a fire? Life was going along great then flash, whoosh, you went from zero to 1,000. If you look around things are being consumed and quite possibly it may seem that you cannot contain it. You see flames, yet if you walk with Jesus, do you recognize He is with you even until the ends of the earth and right in the fire with you?

Unlike mere human beings, God does not abandon us in the darkest of night or the fiercest of fires. God stands with us and for us. God is Emmanuel; God with us. The covenant God makes with His word and His heart is unlike any human covenant. Marriage covenants on earth end, they do not exist in heaven. Yet God’s covenant with humanity is eternal. Humans may run, forsake, hide, say-“That’s not my problem,” but God. I tell my friends and mentees, insert but God. But God is able to do exceedingly and abundantly above ALL we could ask or imagine. But God will make even your enemies to be at peace with you when your ways please Him. But God is still the same God who raises the dead, opens blind eyes, causes the lame to walk, and that resurrection power did not end on calvary. But God is the same God who parted the Red Sea, called manna from heaven, and quail from the sea.

If God be for you (us) who stands a chance against you (us)? What is meant for evil, God can turn it around for good. God is still making ways where there seems to be no way. God is still providing streams in the desert. Like David I proclaim, “I look to the hills where my help comes from. My help comes from the Maker of the heavens and the earth.” There is no one more capable than God.

My encouragement, and I understand it can be a challenge…Don’t stare at the flames. Look into the eyes of Jesus. One of my frequent prayers in fire trials is, “God help me to see what you see. Give me the vantage point of heaven. I need help.”

Even though we may walk through the valley of the shadow of death, God is with us. Let that sink in deep this morning. God is with you! The most powerful being in the Universe is with you; He commands the angelic armies. No one can stop God. One word from God and everything shifts and changes.

I speak life over you today! The dry dead bones can live. Your body can be healed. Your family can be saved. You can find ample employment. You can overcome. You can live and NOT die to declare the works of the Lord. The Spirit of an Overcomer resides in Jesus and you have full access to Him. You can come out of the fire not even smelling like smoke. Don’t you die in the fire. Don’t give up when it looks bleak. There is another man in the fire with you. He is MIGHTY to SAVE!

I have never been trapped in a fire. I do know what it’s like to be trapped in a car under water. I understand facing death if no miracle occurred. I understand 911 not showing up for me. But God showed up!! God keeps showing up with love in His eyes and power in His hands. He is a mountain moving, dragon slaying, closing the mouths of lions, pulling people off death’s door kind of God.

Today, celebrate that you are not alone. He is the come to the rescue kind of God. He is the loving you when you are down to nothing or on top of the mountain kind of God. He is the forgiving and merciful God. He is full of justice! He sets the wrong things right. He provides in the wilderness. God never fails. I repeat, “God never fails!”

Abba, I ask that anyone who reads this receives a fresh touch of the anointing of an overcomer. Break off any spirits of hopelessness, self pity, depression, and despair. The devil is a liar. Break off the power of every lie that they can not make it or overcome. Holy Spirit breathe a fresh wind of refreshing over them today. No situation is too hard for you God. Nothing is impossible for you Papa. It can be done. I bind every spirit of loneliness and fear. I invite the Spirit of adoption to overwhelm each person, they are not orphans or outcasts. They are not alone. The Lord of Hosts is with them. Saturate each person with your truth today God. Believing your truth sets us free! Breaker anointing fall on every reader. Set the captives free. In the powerful name of Jesus!

Verses to Ponder:

Daniel 3:25-27 Amplified Bible (AMP)

He answered, “Look! I see four men untied, walking around in the midst of the fire, and they are not hurt! And the appearance of the fourth is like a son of the gods!” Then Nebuchadnezzar approached the door of the blazing furnace and said, “Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego, servants of the Most High God, come out [of there]! Come here!” Then Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego came out of the midst of the fire. The satraps, the prefects, the governors and the king’s counselors gathered around them and saw that in regard to these men the fire had no effect on their bodies—their hair was not singed, their clothes were not scorched or damaged, even the smell of smoke was not on them.

You can come out of the fire and not even smell like smoke!! 🔥🔥🔥 And when you overcome with Jesus, it takes you into a promoted level of authority. We have authority in His name. Those who stand in His authority in adversity find a greater level of understanding of who they are in Him and who God is through them. In Jesus we can stand VICTORIOUS!

Photo: Pinterest (Fourth Man in the Fire)

You are greatly loved!

Warmly,

Erin Lamb

Empowered-Free.Com

EmpoweredandFreeMerch.com

OperationGodisLove.org

See the Upgrade, Instead of the Obstacle

Parable of the Boulder

There was a man who wanted to climb a mountain yet there was a boulder in his way. A man who came along and told him if he pushed the boulder up the mountain, he would give him ten fifty pounds bags of gold. He stated that many attempted to get the boulder up the mountain yet not one succeeded.

The man accepted the challenge and began to push the boulder up the mountain. He could only go so far without resting. The boulder was heavy and others just seemed to try to take the easy way around. They were playing in freedom while he kept pushing. It was hot, it was not easy. Some days it seemed he took a few steps forward and was pushed back.

He was tempted to give up at times because he could easily make money more easily. Why stick with the task at hand?

After many days and months of pushing the boulder up the mountain, he arrived. the man he had met at the bottom was there as promised with the bags of gold. He grinned with delight over the man making it to the top of the mountain. He asked the man to follow him even further up the mountain. Though fatigued, he climbed. The man asked him, “Why do you think I invited to you push the boulder up the mountain?” The gentleman pondered it for a moment and responded, “I do not know, maybe you needed it and there was no one to help you.” The man laughed. “No, I don’t need the boulder at all. This was not for me, it was for you.” The gentleman looked back at him puzzled, “How could this be for me?” The man replied, “Come look.” He took the man to an area where he could see his reflection. His muscles were fully developed and he had gained incredible strength.

“In the climb, you learned patience. You learned to persevere when it was challenging. You learned the easiest path was not the best path. You learned to focus, if you did not, you could be crushed by the boulder. You learned your own inner strength. You learned lessons some will never learn. The climb was never about me. It was about you. Every challenge has both an OPPORTUNITY and an UPGRADE attached to it. Some only live on the flat plains, they never rise to their highest level of potential. They take the easiest route and never learn who they can be. Some wait for someone else to push the boulder up the mountain and then try to glean from their success. You chose to take the path less traveled. You chose a path that would require strength. You chose faith to believe I would reward you for bringing the boulder up the mountain. Not only will I provide you with the bags of gold, but I am also including 10 times the reward in diamonds.”

Sometimes what looks easy is not the best path. Getting to where we want to go and be will take actual work, focus, planning, and perseverance. The race is given to the one who endures until the end. SO keep your eyes on the prize and keep going. If you need to rest, rest, then get back to what leads to your promise.

Praying for you!! You can do this with God’s help.

Oh…and this Friday, please check out our Black Friday sales on empowered-free.com/shop (books, teachings, audio) and empoweredandfreemerch.com (tshirts, bags, phone cases, etc)! All books and audio are 45% off.

Warmly,

Erin Lamb

Empowered-Free.com/Shop

EmpoweredandFreemerch.com

OperationGodisLove.org

Boulder image: Google images

Unraveling Teachings on Headship & Women in Ministry

Image: Ezer Rising

Since there has been controversy on my author page and other parts of media about women in ministry, I hope to put together teachings on the women in the Bible who were teachers, prophets, evangelists, taught men, shepherding, friends of Jesus, world changers, and commended by Paul for their ministry.

I also hope to cover how Jesus treated women; He even sent Mary to go tell others He had risen in a culture that did not highly value the testimony of a woman. If God wanted the women to be silent, Jesus would not have appeared to a woman and told her to be His witness. God would also not have appointed female prophets, which He did. Prophets speak forth the word of God, teach, mentor, and exercise authority. I will touch on Deborah who was a prophet and judge over ALL of Israel. She exercised authority over men.

I think part of the issue is many people do not hear about women in churches, unless it’s Mother’s Day or talking about Mary mother of Jesus. We need to know all of the Bible, the culture, the context, and most importantly the heart of God.

I also hope to break down what Ezer Kenegdo means. It is the Hebrew word God used for creating woman. It is poorly translated as helper or help meet. Our English language does not do Hebrew justice. Ezer is a word God uses to describe Himself and there is no weakness and inferiority in God.

Eve was created as a warrior, one with divine instinct and she represents a part of God Adam does not. Together as partners they would have dominion on the earth (See Genesis 1:26-28). Before the fall of humanity represents God intentions. Both of them were created in the image of God (Genesis 1:27).

I also hope to touch on the poorly taught doctrine of male headship and female submission. God did not create a hierarchy ladder. He created a triangle. Man+woman would function as equal partners ruling and reigning together both moving towards God.

God also instructed ALL believers (male and female) to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21). The greatest among you will be your servant (Matthew 23:11), said Jesus. When it is taught the wife must just do what her husband wants, he’s the head (boss), it creates potential for competition. He must be the smartest and most spiritual. In some cases the husband is not or his wife is far more skilled in an area. Or he’s not listening to God and she is. If he has zero accountability, he can lead his family into a ditch. I see clients with husbands who have brought porn in the home, are abusive, the husband is controlling, absolutely destroyed their finances, not responsible, will not listen to anyone’s counsel, and they are stuck being yelled at to submit.

If the husband thinks he’s the last say, he may forgo listening to his wife and feel resentful if her relationship with God is stronger or she’s more skilled than he is in an area. She may be viewed as a subordinate, not a partner. Both parties are called to mutual love, mutual respect, and mutual submission (a willingness to yield to what honors God). It can create problems when the wife treats her husband like he’s her God. God was clear. You shall have no other gods beside me and there is one mediator between God and man-Jesus. We have one high priest, Jesus. If the husband says to do something that is wrong, the wife is not supposed to do that and vice versa.

The role of both parties is to love one another and love is not about lording over others. Marital love is not a boss employee relationship. It’s two partners laying their life down for the benefit of each other. Jesus told the disciples not to be like the people in the world who seek to dominate and lord over others. He told them to take on the position of a servant.

“…Jesus called them to Himself and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles have absolute power and lord it over them, and their great men exercise authority over them[tyrannizing them]. It is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant,“~Jesus Matthew 20:25-26.

The Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve and give His life as a ransom. The way “headship” is sometimes taught is the husband is a god substitute in the home, the boss, the dictator, the final authority, and it’s not biblical. The husband is called to model Jesus in his sacrificial love, unselfishness, empowering his family, purity, etc…God did not create a boss and subordinate relationship, nor establish a system for husbands to have zero accountability. The husband is not a god substitute.

Whether you agree or disagree, I hope to unpack the word of God, the words of Jesus, creation, the Greek and Hebrew. Let’s unpack what God did say.

God willing after the holidays we will dive into the controversy. I think its great to study for ourselves and know what authors of the Bible meant. I also think it’s even better to know God, the character of God and the heart of God. The Pharisees knew the Torah and the law. They could quote it, beat people up with it, but they did not have personal relationship with God. We need both. The Holy Spirit is the best teacher.

Resources:

Ezer Kenegdo

https://godswordtowomen.org/ezerkenegdo.htm

Headship and Paul’s Letters

https://margmowczko.com/kephale-and-male-headship-in-pauls-letters/

It’s A Woman, Not All Women (Paul’s Letters)

https://margmowczko.com/a-woman-not-all-women-1-timothy-212/

Women in Ministry, Pastoral Roles, Submission

https://margmowczko.com/paul-gender-roles-in-marriage-ministry/

I will be doing Facebook lives on these topics. I think as a woman, it’s important I know what God did say. I think for men it’s important to know what God did say. There are so many women being forced into silence that God is calling to SPEAK! There are husbands who are not receiving the full benefit of having a partner because she is seen as a subordinante to be led by the nose.

I hope you join me in the new year for the series! You can follow video posts by going to Facebook.com/erinlambauthor. You can grab copies of the books I have written or audio teachings by going to empowered-free.com!

Lastly, we will not be SILENT!

Love,

Erin Lamb

Empowered-Free.com

EmpoweredandFreeMerch.com

OperationGodisLove.org

When Pastors Abuse

I wish Overcoming Church Hurt & Abuse was not a book I needed to write. Why? I wish “church” was always a place of love, safety, and God’s goodness. I wish the organized “church” looked and loved just like Jesus.

Jesus is perfect theology and God is love. There is no abuse in love. There is no manipulation or dominance in love. There is no control in love. There is nothing perverse, sexually inappropriate, or lustful in love.

I use quotes for the “church” because truly God’s church is not a weekend service or organization, it is a body of people yielded to God. Jesus stated His followers would be known by their agape love (pure, sacrificial, and unselfish love). Abuse is not love and not of God. God will separate His true church from what is false.

Part of what I do is called deep inner healing. It’s not SOZO for those who are in the charismatic church. It’s inviting God into memories throughout a person’s life to interject truth, expose lies, deal with pain, and negative emotions. I do not interject memories. We deal with what God reveals to a person that needs to be healed.

Over the years I have heard the worst of the worst of stories; stories that make Steven King movies appear tame. I deal with people who have been severely damaged and abused to the point of dissociation (they fracture into multiple personalities). I hate to admit that some of the perpetrators claimed to be Christians. Some were pastors or deacons. Some had high levels of influence. They used their status and influence to exploit, manipulate, abuse, or molest others.

Some churches have encouraged hiding the sins of the pastors or the “church”. If anyone knew it could damage the “church” reputation. Holding onto this mindset helped to enable thousands of pastors to continue to abuse people in silence. It is ungodly to enable sin. What you hide, enables abuse to continue. It sends a message, “Please come and abuse people here. We will keep your secrets and forgive. We will pretend that nothing happened.” Some “church” leaders don’t recognize forgiveness is not ENABLING! Forgiveness is supposed to be coupled with repentance. To repent is to change one’s mind, not offer a sloppy sorry because you were caught.

In Overcoming Church Hurt & Abuse I talk about the boundaries churches need in place to prevent a set up for a scandal.

  • Background checks on every leader. If you are a pedophile, you are not qualified to lead. Period.
  • Men should not counsel women in closed door, behind the scenes situations or off hours. And vice versa with women counseling men. “Counseling,” has led numerous people into sexual misconduct. Have a two person system. If you must have a one on one, one pastor I knew had a glass office door and his admin would sit outside. She could not hear, she could see what was going on in the session. I do not do deep inner healing sessions by myself in person. I have an assistant. If it’s through Skype, it’s recorded.
  • Check in on pastors and their mental, spiritual, and emotional health. Some are burnt out and not connecting with God. They serve, yet they are not working on their own relationship with God. Check in and have accountability systems.
  • Set up situations where leaders are never alone with someone else’s child. Children’s ministry should have two people not related caring for kids. They all need background checks too!
  • Teach your children proper boundaries. Just because a person claims to be a Christian does not mean they are safe. Teach your children about inappropriate touch and they can tell you anything. It’s sad, yet many children are threatened with getting in trouble if they tell.
  • Cease trusting people just because they claim to be a Christian or clergy!! This one is big.

I knew a lady who’s pastor invited her out to a bar then began to sexually proposition her. Well, first thing is this-I am not meeting my pastor alone anywhere!! Let alone a bar. Secondly, the moment he propositioned me for sex he would have been rebuked and then turned into the church board. This pastor had a history of hitting on women at the church, sleeping with them, then getting up preaching on Sunday. He would also remove parts of scripture that talked about sexual immorality.

What we permit, we promote! Let me repeat that, “What we permit, we promote.” This woman wanted to love, forgive, and pray for her pastor. Awesome! Yes, forgive. Also rebuke the sexual advances and let someone know so he cannot prey on anyone else. Some women have been so brainwashed with false teachings on submitting to authority that they easily give in to what is ungodly. He’s my pastor, I have to do this. NO!!!! You are sinning and God still hold you accountable. “My pastor told me,” does not fly in heaven.

What are you and I going to do to help stop abuse in the church? We cannot change other people. We can ask God for our part! Writing this book and helping victims of abuse is part of my part. It’s also my part to say something if I see something inappropriate.

I regret not listening to my instincts years ago. I noticed a male minister always playing with the little girls. He was in his 50s. They were 7 to 14 years old. I did not wish to judge him. I thought I was being overly suspicious. I looked the other way though it bugged me. Later it was revealed he was grooming young teen girls for sex. He eventually married a teenage girl in an impoverished nation by grooming her parents as well. He was eventually removed from ministry. Could I have helped if I said something early on? I don’t know. I had no proof. It just creeped me out. I wish I had said something.

My encouragement is this, “Please don’t turn a blind eye to abuse, control, manipulation, or sexual sin.” God is loving, gracious, kind, and forgiving. God also highly values people. If we allow abuse we violate God’s love. Being passive is easy. Being passive is not godly.

I see the aftermath in sessions with people. I see how the abuse wounded their views of themselves, of God, of the church. I see the horror and the agony the victims of abuse carry.

Let’s have honest conversations about abuse in the church. Let’s have boundaries that keep people safe. Let’s stop teaching that submission is doing whatever is asked of you. It’s not! Godly submission is being willing to yield to what honors God. It does not mean obey. Let’s teach young children and teens about appropriate and inappropriate touch. Let’s teach everyone about healthy boundaries. No I am not meeting a man alone in his home for ministry. I do not have them come to my house either. Why? I have no desire to be a victim of rape nor to appear to be doing something inappropriate. I don’t meet men at bars to talk about ministry. I don’t sin with them.

Several stories came out this week of men in Christian leadership exposed for sexual misconduct. Those women could have helped themselves by saying, “No I am not sinning with you. No I am not meeting you somewhere alone with no witnesses.” I am not trying to blame them. I feel compassion for them. I am saying in this day and age, we must use wisdom. I am not traveling to my pastors house alone. I will meet you in a public place with witnesses. No I am not sinning with you and submitting to what dishonors me or my relationship with Jesus. Boundaries help protect what has value. It’s far more difficult for sexual assault to happen in a public place with loads of witnesses.

If you have been abused sexually, physically, emotionally, spiritually (spiritual abuse is another one that is high in clients I see), manipulated, controlled, or mistreated by clergy or professing Christians, I am so sorry! It is not the heart of God and He hates abused. I pray your heart is healed and restored. God loves you! I can also confidently say that God gives beauty for ashes and binds up the wounds of the broken hearted! You are greatly loved.

Warmly,

Erin Lamb

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